Shortly after I reported on Mark Wahlberg’s restaurant venture, Wahlburgers, and Hanson’s beer, MMMhop, I expressed a desire to one day be able to subsist solely on celebrity pun food. If it’s not already possible, that dream creeps even closer to becoming reality today, as GNC has announced that they’re partnering with Mark Wahlberg (seen above on the set of Michael Bay’s Pain and Gain — almost certainly taking something a lot stronger than protein powder), on a line of supplements called “MARKED.”

GNC Holdings, Inc. (NYSE: GNC), the nation’s largest specialty retailer of health and wellness products, is proud to announce a partnership with Academy Award-nominated actor/producer Mark Wahlberg to develop, market and sell MARKED, a new nutritional supplement line designed to meet the demanding lifestyles of active, results-driven fitness consumers who want to get the most out of their workout and improve overall health.

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Now Page Six is weighing in on the Jackslingberg controversy (Yeah, I typed that with a straight face, what of it?)

"Peter couldn’t stand Ryan," said one source. Though Variety reported that Gosling had "stepped down" and was replaced by Mark Wahlberg, our source said, "Ryan cut his own hair, and was fighting with wardrobe. He was so demanding . . . Peter booted him two days before filming started." 

Yeah, whatever, I’m still on baby goose’s side.  Because even speaking as a heterosexual man, he’s much better looking. And everyone knows good people are attractive and bad people are ugly.  Remember Wizard of Oz?  The good witch was all blond and feminine like Ryan Gosling, and the wicked witch was all dark and hairy like Peter Jackson.  And then the lion roared three times and everyone dropped acid and listened to Pink Floyd.  Anyway, the moral of the story is, drugs are awesome.  

Ryan Gosling was replaced by Mark Wahlberg just a day before shooting began on Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Lovely Bones.

[Gosling] stepped out after gaining 20 pounds and growing a beard for the job. Sources attributed the exit to creative differences.

After reading the script, Wahlberg quickly committed Sunday. He joins Rachel Weisz as a couple whose world is shattered after their daughter is murdered. The girl watches over her family and her killer from heaven. [Variety]

This version sounds much more uplifting than the first draft of the script in which the girl cried a lot before slowly rotting. 

Working with Jackson for the first time after having recently wrapped The Happening with Manny Shyamalan, Wahlberg is halfway to achieving his goal of working with every overrated director in Hollywood. 

He’s also the executive producer of Entourage.  May God have mercy on his soul.  

According to this trailer I just watched, We Own the Night stars Marky Mark and Joaquin Phoenix as brothers – on opposite sides of the law!

In a related story, I once killed a man with my bear hands.  That's right, BEAR HANDS.