MSN just released a new red-band clip from Kick-Ass, and I’m not saying it’s awesome, but it’s really hard to type this while curled up in a ball getting spontaneous joysquirts all over my underpants.  Am I a nerd for thinking this looks amazing?  I haven’t had this much fun watching a masked dude cut people since my family reunion.  Nic Cage is absolutely wrecking sh*t.

CAGE:  What’s my motivation?

MATTHEW VAUGHN: You just blew half a mil on a dinosaur skull!  You made $40 million last year and you’re broke!  A guy sold you anti-venom for the wrong type of snake!

CAGE:  GAAAAAAAAH!  *stabs grip in the heart, drop kicks McLovin*

[click on the picture to watch the video, or go here]

RELATED ASYLUM POLL: Which comic book has spawned the best movie?

On May 14th, forest tights come in husky sizes.  That’s when Ridley Scott’s Gladiator of Robin Hood movies opens, starring Russell Crowe as plus-sized Robin Hood, Mark Strong, and Cate Blanchett as Maid Marian.  The theme of this one seems to be Robin’s continued belief, as his father taught him, that “Kings have a need of their subjects.”  Meanwhile the king thinks, “Yes, for without them, who’s village would I burn down and women rape? Nigh for the king’s subjects doth not going to rape thyselves.”

Then they have a debate about it, and it’s my favorite kind of debate, where they shoot arrows at each other.  Then Robin and Marian have to share a bed, and she threatens to cut his wiener off if he tries anything.  But I bet you $10 they still fall in love.  I’m so excited, this is gonna be just like Leap Year!

Oh hey look, I just found an outtake from one of Russell Crowe’s love scenes:

Read the rest of this entry »

DC Entertainment’s Chief Creative Officer Geoffrey Johns recently revealed via Twitter that Sherlock Holmes‘ Mark Strong would be playing Sinestro in the Green Lantern, currently filming in New Orleans with Ryan Reynolds and Casino Royale director Martin Campbell.  Johns also revealed a preference for waffles over Waffle-O’s, but people seemed more interested in the Sinestro thing.  The announcement refutes an earlier rumor that Jackie Earle Haley would play Sinestro.

I started to read the Wikipedia article on Sinestro because the only thing I know about Green Lantern is that he doesn’t seem to actually carry a lantern.  I mean what. is. the deal.   Sadly, the article is more than 5,000 words.  But from what I gather, Sinestro has basically the same powers as The Green Lantern except he’s kind of a dick. Meanwhile, if you’re keeping score at home, the page on the Darfur conflict has about 4,000 words.   Well done, nerds.  Hey Africa, how does that pwnage taste?  Is it like food?  Oh right, you wouldn’t know.

Yahoo just released the Super Bowl TV spot for Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood, starring Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, and Cate Blanchett.  I have to admit, it looks kind of badass, which basically leaves me with nothing but cheap and not-even-that-accurate fat jokes.  In fact, I spent the last hour trying to create a Photoshop that involved Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood and the phrase “Let them eat cake!”, but it didn’t really turn out.  Looks like you’ve won this round, Crowe.  *pets cat, plots revenge*

(“I’M SO HUUUNGRY!”)

After the jump I’ve got your first international trailer for the long-awaited, frequently revamped, sympathetic-to-the-Sheriff Robin Hood (formerly Nottingham), from Ridley Scott starring Russell Crowe.  The trailer doesn’t really give us much, just some quick-cut fighting set to guitar and a weird bowstring-pulling-taut sound effect that dare I say it sounds a lot like a record scratch.  There’s only one line of dialog:

“Rise, and rise again, until lambs become lions.”

Whoa, a wolf used for symbolism, lambs and lions — is anyone else getting a weird Twilight New Moon synergy vibe all of a sudden?  Said Russell Crowe when reached for comment, “I wanna eat a stupid lamb,” and kicked an empty Slim Fast can.

Read the rest of this entry »