It wouldn’t be a day of the week ending in –y if we didn’t have some juicy HOTT GOSS about the Justice League movie, and wouldn’t you know it – it’s all really bad. First up, there’s a fat nugget of rumor jizz drying on our prom dresses regarding the first screenplay, penned by Gangster Squad’s Will Beall. According to Badass Digest, which is like Reader’s Digest but in a monster truck, Warner Bros. and DC read it and determined that they had approximately 110 pages of toilet paper.

The story from each source is the same: it’s terrible. Some sources seem to think the whole movie is going to fall apart and never happen, while some believe that Warner Bros will keep moving forward, unwilling to lose the superhero arms race.

Beall’s script was focusing on a 4-man and 1-woman Justice League, as Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern, Batman and Wonder Woman would be taking on Darkseid in an Avengers-like battle to save the Earth. Unfortunately, it seems that the Warner and DC execs have been f*cking with the story so much that Beall never stood a chance.

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Not necessarily relevant, but still awesome.

If you all will indulge me, I have some page view whoring to do here on Vince’s pretty CSS style sheet…

There have been a variety of rumors regarding the direction that Fox would be taking the X-Men after the overwhelming success of X-Men: First Class rescued the franchise from the Cheetos-dusted fingers of Brett Ratner’s demise. For starters, we know that Patrick Stewart will be returning as Professor X in X-Men: Days of Future Past, and he also hinted that other actors will also reprise their roles from the original trilogy.

Obviously, we knew that Hugh Jackman is still Wolverine, because he was in First Class and he’s filming The Wolverine, and nobody else was born to play Wolverine like Jackman, but now we also know that P-Stew wasn’t lying because Famke Janssen has a cameo in The Wolverine. Additionally, by hiring Mark Millar to oversee all of its Marvel properties, Fox is working diligently to create an alliance not only between X-Men and Fantastic Four, but also possibly Marvel’s The Avengers, which would obviously be amazing.

So now the bad news – Matthew Vaughn is no longer directing Days of Future Past because he’s working on another film. I know, I’m bummed, too.

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Harry Knowles is reporting that Kick-Ass 2 has been greenlit, but I can’t lie to you guys.  Those three exclamation points in the headline are meant to indicate the likelihood that this story is total bullsh*t.  So take it with a few grains of salt, and then slam some tequila and punch a hooker if you have to (I’m not here to judge).   An AICN reader sent Knowles this tip:

Been listening to Mark Millar on Radio 5 in the UK who says that because of the fantastic number of DVD sales of Kick Ass that Kick Ass 2 has been greenlit and will go ahead and be based on Millar’s follow-up comic.

The key thing to remember here is that Mark Millar is notorious for constantly making sh*t up and being wrong.  This isn’t even the first time he’s brought up a Kick-Ass sequel — Chris Mintz-Plasse shot down Millar’s last sequel claim back in May.  According to people in the know, Matthew Vaughn is busy with X-Men: First Class, and they won’t know the status of a Kick-Ass sequel until he’s done. This is probably just wishful thinking on Millar’s part, based on DVD sales reports, and the fact that he’d make a bunch more money if they turned another one of his comics into a movie.  My, this was an interesting story, wasn’t it.

Anyway, why the hell does everything need a sequel?  I know this sounds like Godfather 2 compared to  an Expendables sequel, but still.  Didn’t SPOILER ALERT: Nic Cage’s character die at the end?  F*ck that.  I refuse to watch a Kick-Ass without Nic Cage being a weirdo. The only way this could work is if they made it a prequel, and found an even younger girl to play Hit-Girl.   What?  I think that could be hot.

Kick-Ass is a comic book by Mark Millar which is being adapted by Matthew Vaughn, the director behind Layer Cake.  Vaughn wanted to make something ultraviolent and faithful to the source material, but when he first took the project to Sony, they acted like total snatches about it.  So he was all like “whatever” and raised $30 million for it himself.  Newsarama recently visited the set and broke these first official stills of Aaron Johnson looking like some kind of gimp ninja.

For readers of the mini-series concerned that the Matthew Vaughn-directed movie will water down its violence, language, or dark tones, fear not. A recent trip to the Toronto set found a costume clad Dave defending a badly beaten victim from three blood thirsty attackers.

To further prove the film will stay faithful to its source material, the producers whipped out a laptop to showcase a sequence where the young Hit Girl cocks a gun in a thug’s mouth and systematically blasts her other weapon wielding adversaries through his cheek before somersaulting into an even more aggressive attack mode.

I’m pretty excited about this, but I admit it could just be a reaction to reading young girl, cock, thug mouth, and gun in the same sentence.  Also, if she could gun rape someone, it’d really make my day.

Two stories about Big Daddy Cage in a row – why it musht be my lucky day. As Hollywood Reporter uh, reports, Nic Cage will be joining the cast of Kick Ass, along with Aaron Johnson and Lyndsy Fonseca, two people I’d never heard of before today.

Written by Mark Millar and drawn by John Romita Jr., the Marvel Comics’ Icon imprint book centers on a high school dweeb named Dave Lizewski who decides to become a superhero even though he has no athletic ability or coordination. Things change when he eventually runs into real bad guys with real weapons.

Johnson plays the dweeb and title character, while Fonseca plays the object of the teen’s infatuation who believes Dave is gay. Cage is a former cop who wants to bring down a druglord and has trained his daughter (Chloe Moretz) to be a lethal weapon. [Hollywood Reporter]

Ever notice how in Hollywood, the losers and blue-collar every schmoes always have Polish names, the heroes are always anglo, and high school bullies are always Italian?  I don’t really have a point to make here, it was just an observation.  Oh hey look, a pigeon playing in a puddle.