Later today you’ll be able check out this weekend’s movie guide, featuring all of those great movies that you’re looking forward to seeing by yourself, but one film that arrives in theaters today simply deserved its own post. Mardi Gras: Spring Break is the tale of three friends who decide to go on the craziest Spring Break in the history of mankind, because this movie needed to be made again. And again. And one more time for luck.

Mardi Gras stars Nicholas D’Agosto, who played that flying kid when “Heroes” started to suck, and Josh Gad, whose IMDb profile suggests that he is the recipient of all the roles that Jonah Hill stopped receiving, as two poon-starved friends who are joined by a third that I forgot to look up as they embark on their rites of manhood.

For three college guys, it’s senior year and the co-ed experience has left them high and dry. Their solution: A road trip to Mardi Gras, where beautiful babes are happy to lift their shirts and open containers are always welcome. But after dressing in drag, breaking into Carmen Electra’s hotel room, starring in a scandalous sex show and accidentally exploding a feces bomb in a swank hotel lobby, will the Mardi Gras magic kick in and their wildest fantasies come true?

(Via Movieweb)

When was this movie written? Did Dean Cameron and C. Thomas Howell bury this script in a time capsule with specific instructions for writer Josh Heald to not dig it up again until the world was ready for another glorious Spring Break adventure? And Carmen Electra plays herself. I would have guessed a grandmother.

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That’s right, it’s my birthday.  Which means I wrote this post yesterday, when I wasn’t hungover and covered in filth and shame. And yes, my birthday is more important than the Oscars.

Movie titles if they were honest. [CollegeHumor]

17 Oscar Categories We’d Like to See. Wait, Anne Hathaway got naked in Rachel Getting Married? Don’t toy with me. [ScreenJunkies]

Mr. Bananas writes editorial on recent monkey* attack. [HolyTaco]

Seriously? Glenn Danzig’s going to be on Rock of Love? I’m only on board with this if at some point he commands a contestant to “MASTABATE ME/AND THEN SLURP IT FROM YA PAAALM…” [AfroJacks]

The Oscar Speech Generator is pretty sweet. You can read what I got after the jump. [Atom]

DO NOT WANT. Fruitcake says Dragonball 2 has already been written. [Scifinow]

Chuck Norris tells Haley Joel Osment he has AIDS. This clip is both old and well-known, but I never get tired of it. [Videogum]

And speaking of AIDS, check out this AIDS-related poster auction.  I’m only bidding to help Haley Joel. [CHUD]

20 Movies You Didn’t Know Won Oscars. [BestWeekEver]

*I realize a chimp technically isn’t a monkey. Monkey still sounds better. Now stop emailing me.

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