Andrew Garfield and Drama Llama: Separated at birth?

Sony just released a new batch of character images from Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man on their official website, and I think I speak for everyone when I say SWEET MOTHER OF PISS, GET A LOAD OF THAT KID’S NECK! Jesus, Scarfield’s got a neck like Manute Bol’s forearm. He must have to look at the sky and do Merton Hanks’ chicken neck dance every time he wants to swallow something, it’s no wonder he stays so thin. If Andrew Garfield and Mia Wasikowska ever got together, they could braid necks and feed each other acacia leaves. Which would be adorable, by the way. Someone call their publicists.

Meanwhile, it appears that Spider-Man is wearing track shoes or something:

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Official synopses usually aren’t the most interesting thing in the world, but considering The Amazing Spider-Man, from director Marc Webb and Scarfield, basically tells the same origin story that the Raimi/Tobey Maguire movie did a few years ago, and still had the balls to tag the poster “THE UNTOLD STORY,” I thought it’d be interesting to see how they tried to spin the synopsis. The real reason Sony keeps making these is that if they don’t, the rights will revert back to Marvel, but I admit “BECAUSE WE HAD TO” doesn’t sound great in a press release. But it was basically the same situation with Fox and X-Men: First Class, and that worked out okay. It goes to show you never can tell.

One of the world’s most popular characters is back on the big screen as a new chapter in the Spider-Man legacy is revealed in “The Amazing Spider-Man.” Focusing on an untold story that tells a different side of the Peter Parker story, the new film stars Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Campbell Scott, Irrfan Khan, with Martin Sheen and Sally Field. The film is directed by Marc Webb from a screenplay written by James Vanderbilt, based on the Marvel Comic Book by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. Laura Ziskin, Avi Arad, and Matt Tolmach are producing the film in association with Marvel Entertainment for Columbia Pictures, which will open in theaters everywhere in 3D on July 3, 2012.

“It’s an a different side of an already different story, and the main thing that strikes you about it is that it’s so drastically… different! I mean really, this is about as different as two stories that both end in a kid gaining radioactive spider superpowers could possibly be.”

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Word on the street is that Sony says this trailer (which first showed up on Movie-List this morning and quickly jammed their server) still isn’t the “official” trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man. But if that’s true, why is it exactly the same as the butcammed version from a few days ago, which seems to have been shot in a theater? It sounds more like it’s an early leak of the real trailer that Sony is calling unofficial so that they can give the exclusive to their preferred outlet later in the week. But I suppose there’s an outside chance this is leaked, unfinished footage, so draw your own conclusions there. Yeesh, this is way less fun than wiener jokes. What do I look like, a journalist? (*takes off pink speedo with “JOURNALIST” printed on crotch*)

Aaanyway, the trailer. Is there anything to say about this trailer? It looks like a fairly straightforward remake of Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man with some POV shots ripped from the old video game thrown in to make the 3D seem more exciting (which works, mostly). I like the cast better too. But enough to make a remake of the origin story we all know seem necessary? Ehhhh. It’s more shrugworthy than dismissive wank-inducing, so I guess that’s something. Oh and hey. Is super-thick hair one of Spider-Man’s spider-bite-induced mutations? Because look at that kid! I could upholster my van with that shag. Does anyone else think Scarfield is a dead ringer for Emo Llama?

(If you add glasses, he becomes Hipster Llama. So pretentious!)

[Stars Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Martin Sheen, Sally Field, Denis Leary, and Rhys Ifans, directed by Marc Webb. Opens July 3, 2012. Thanks to ScreenJunkies for the embed.]

This isn’t the first batch of photos we’ve seen from the set of Marc Webb’s Spider-man reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man.  In the past, I’ve been highly critical of Scarfield’s disturbing lack of codpiece, and the events of giant-red-arrow-pointing-at-his-junk gate.  Bu it seems they’ve found a solution: sweatpants.  Very clever, Spider-man.  I wonder if he’ll be wearing those the entire movie.  They leave more to the imagination, and I like that.  It’s sexier that way, a thinking-man’s kind of sexiness.  Sort of a ponytail-and-no-makeup look for the superhero.  But we still know what you did last summer.

Junior College Spider-Man?  Strip-Club Spider-Man?  Twihard Spider-Man?

[via DailyBlam]

SKEET SKEET SKEET

Sony has released an official picture of Spider-Man in costume from the Spider-Man reboot, along with the announcement of the official title: The Amazing Spider-Man. …Eh. But the new pic looks way less like gay porn than the last batch, so at least there’s that.  Come off it, Spider-Man, we know what you did last summer:

"Haha, c'mon Spider-man, cut it out!"

The press release also notes that it’s set for a July 3rd release and is being shot entirely in 3D.  Differences between the reboot and the Sam Raimi version so far include those little webshooter dealies on Spider-Man’s wrists, and that a person will actually be doing stunts in the Spider-man suit this time (whereas the last one was almost all CGI).  …Exciting, right?

I’ve always found it interesting that Spider-Man makes the sign for “I love you” in sign language when he shoots webs.  You should be in love before shoot your webbing on someone, I always say.  More meaningful that way.  “I love you!  I love you!  I love you!  …aaaaand I’m spent.”