Ugh. In case you missed it, a couple weeks ago, Drew from KSK wrote a great article on the state of the ultimate press tour cliché, when directors or producers say “Even though on the surface it seems like it’s a movie about [specific premise], it’s really about [meaningless abstract concept].”

This is a disease among filmmakers and studios at this point. No wonder movies this year have sucked so badly. No movie is ever about ANYTHING. “Moneyball” can’t just be a baseball movie: God forbid it alienate people who don’t like baseball. No, no. It has to be about “a man in crisis,” or “new ways of thinking,” or some other ludicrously broad phrase that isn’t a real idea. When I go to see “Real Steel” (and I won’t), I’m going because I want to see a movie about BOXING ROBOTS. I don’t want to see a movie about fathers and sons. There are fathers and sons all over the place. If the movie is all about fathers and sons, then I’m gonna feel shortchanged out of all the robot boxing I was shown in the trailer. [Yahoo/TheProjector]

This becomes relevant to the story at hand, because once again a director is making a film about zombies (in this case Marc Forster, adapting Max Brooks’ World War Z), and once again, the zombies aren’t actually zombies at all. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that they’re actually a vague metaphor for something or other.

“Zombies are a really interesting metaphor to play with. I thought they were great in the 70s, when George Romero worked with them, it’s sort of the statement of consumerism, and so on, but also in the 70s it was a time of change, when the zombies were very popular. And I think right now we are living in a time of change, and I think that’s maybe why zombies are popular again.” [video via Collider]

Did you get that? In the 70s, zombies were a statement on consumerism, but also an allegory for a time of change, which is why zombies were popular in the 70s and now, which are both times of change, as opposed to all the great periods of stasis throughout history, like, say, the 80s, or the 1360s. Hey, if zombies are such a great metaphor for so many different things, maybe they’re actually a pretty sh*tty metaphor, has anyone ever thought of that? I mean, shouldn’t a metaphor have some specific qualities? And not be some shapeless abstraction that can be applied to any hip buzzword, like “WAR,” “CHANGE,” “THE ECONOMY,” or “HAM SANDWICH?” Maybe zombies are really just unfeeling sacks of raw meat that are fun to watch explode, like the Kardashians.

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I’m on the fence when it comes to posting set videos from films in production. On the one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to watch unedited footage from a weird angle of a scene that might not even end up in the finished product and draw conclusions about the film based on it. On the other hand, it’s already out there, and my site isn’t the only one on the internet (thank God for that). Suffice to say, I ain’t allergic to cash money SKEET SKEET, so the video is after the jump. Watch it if you want, you’re a grown-ass blog reader.  Here’s the word from the source:

A friend of ours was lucky enough to bag himself a gig as an extra on the set of Brad Pitt’s new film World War Z, based on the best selling book by Max Brooks, while it was being shot in Glasgow.
He also advised us to ignore all the fanboy chatter over the alleged plot changes from the book, he assured us that from the scenes he took part in and watched this movie will definitely be worth the wait. [HMSFriday]

It must be really hard being an extra in Glasgow. (*pulls out bullhorn*) “AWRRAI, YA COONTZ! THERE COOMES A TAIME, WHEN, IT’S RREASSURE… THE BLIND KIDS, ‘E FAIRRLY DEED AN ECHIDNA! GOO! GOO!”  What? What did he say? Jesus Christ, I thought these people spoke English.

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I haven’t read it yet, but everyone who has seems to be sporting major nerd wood that Max Brooks’ zombie war oral history World War Z is coming to the big screen (I just have regular wood because Brad Pitt’s in it). Directed by Marc Forster and scheduled for a 2012 release, some pictures from the set in Falmouth, Cornwall, UK (hee hee! foul mouth cornhole!) hit over the weekend, along with the news that Breaking Bad‘s Bryan Cranston would have a “small but flashy” role in the film. I hope that means his dong falls out while he runs through the background

Feeling the pinch of a cold British summer morning, Brad appeared wrapped up on board the yellow SD Salmoor where most of the filming is taking place. The admiralty salvage vessel was covered in wax and fake icicles plus a hoard of locals that were signed up as extras. The crew set sail to a nearby location and returned banging weapons and hollering for the camera. [SplashNews]

I don’t know what’s going on in these, except that they seem to be carrying weapons and wearing elbow pads. The pads are probably wise, I’ve heard it gets slippery up there on the poop deck. Oh what, now you’re going to tell me I’m immature? Just because I crammed three wiener jokes and two poop jokes into this post? Whatever, man. I don’t respond to name calling. Seems like you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.

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Brad Pitt and Max Brooks - Separated at birth?

Back in 2007, Brad Pitt’s Plan B production company outbid Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way for the rights to Victoria’s Secret orgies, er, I mean the film rights to World War Z, Max Brooks’ tale of the zombie apocalypse. WWZ seemed like a dream that would never come true for us nerds who love the book and ridiculously anticipate a film adaptation, but it’s on like Sardar Kahn, as production is currently under way. Directed by Marc Forster (nice bandeezy, bro), WWZ stars Pitt as a United Nations researcher traveling the world documenting stories of the battles against the zombie hoards. What kind of stories? Cool stories, bro.

The rest of the cast is still a question mark, as Ed Harris and Matthew Fox have been rumored but are now detached, and it doesn’t really matter because we have the first pictures from the set of World War Z and that’s all we need to get super excited and squeal like schoolgirls. Of course, if this movie sucks we’ll all cry for weeks, but we’ll climb that wall of zombie bodies when we come to it.

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Oh no! It looks like the zombies got Cupcake Dog!

World War Z is a novel by Mel Brooks’ son Max, a story of a zombie war told as an oral history.  Most people I know who’ve read it seemed to like it a lot.  Brad Pitt and director Marc Forster were on board for the movie adaptation, but last we heard, it was in danger of being scrapped because the budget ($125 mil) was considered too big, even after Forster agreed to make it PG-13. Paramount was looking for someone to co-finance.  Today it’s basically the same story, but more optimistic, I guess because it sounds like the co-financier, David Ellison, actually sounds interested. Interestingly enough, David is the brother of Megan Ellison (children of Oracle CEO Larry), who was in talks to finance Paul Thomas Anderson and Spike Jonze’s latest projects.  Because I guess independently-wealthy outsiders are the only people actually interesting in making real movies anymore.  Also, this is like the world’s most boring gossip column.  Doesn’t anyone not have famous parents anymore?  Phew.  TO THE BLOCKQUOTE!  From Deadline:

I’m hearing that hot and heavy talks are going on with David Ellison’s Skydance and as many as two other financiers to share the load…

Oh slow down, baby, you’re gettin me all hot…

…on a movie that is gearing up for production as soon as June. The plan remains for Brad Pitt to star and for Marc Forster to direct.  The temptation is to joke about the irony of a zombie project coming back to life after it was pronounced near dead.

Yes, my, that is a temptation.  Indeed my sides are quaking at the mere possibility of the irony that would befall the temptation to hypothetically make a joke so hilarious.  My God, Mike Fleming, did you type that with magic Mormon underwear over your computer to remain chaste?

As a devotee of great zombie movies from George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead to Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later, Zack Snyder’s spirited Dawn of the Dead remake and genre spoofs Zombieland and Shaun Of The Dead, I am excited enough by WWZ that I hope it stays on its fast track. Because if it waits around much longer, Hollywood might by that time have killed off the genre with an over-saturation of flesh-eating corpse movies that could be as fatal to the film zombie as a shotgun blast to the head.

Holy hell that is the worst sentence I’ve ever read.  I know you guys came here to learn about World War Z, but I am now fascinated by Mike Fleming and his unintentionally hilarious awful writing. His is the same site that employs Pete Hammond, by the way.

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