Here’s Mads Mikkelsen as Rochefort in the upcoming Three Musketeers movie.  Yes, he’s wearing a bitchin’ eye patch.  See?  This is what happens when you let the director of Death Race make a 3D Three Musketeers movie.  Okay, real talk: though he didn’t have one in the novel, Rochefort did wear an eyepatch when he was played by Christopher Lee in the 70s.  Anyway, last we heard, the Paul WS Anderson version is supposed to have a “contemporary feel” without losing the period setting.

“We are definitely modernizing ‘The Three Musketeers’ without compromising the fun of shooting a period piece,” said Paul WS Anderson, who hopes to shoot in France and Germany. “But in our film, corsets and feathered hats don’t take center stage. Our version is rich in eye-popping action, romance and adventure.”

And by that I can only assume he means parkour.  Seriously, I will bet you $10 this movie includes parkour.  Meanwhile, I didn’t realize Seth Rogen would be playing one of the palace guards.  That guy looks like he could use a serious bong load.

[via ComingSoon]

(Odin didn’t tap)

After the jump, I’ve got a sneak preview of Valhalla Rising, a viking movie from Bronson director Nicholas Winding Refn.  The two-minute video contains pretty much all the things I like — beheadings, axe killings, disembowelings, shirtless prisoners choke-wrestling, and sharks 69-ing.  Okay, maybe not that last one, but poetic license.

The clip’s pairing of the most brutal and über-violent footage from the film with Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” is riotous and entertaining but be forewarned, it’s pretty much capsuled all the blood-thirst into the two minutes.
Described as a “horror movie as directed by Terrence Malick,” the film is actually a slow-moving, hypnotizing and mesmerizing picture centering on a Viking warrior slave who escapes his captives with the aid of a young boy and boards a Viking vessel only to sail into the heart of darkness.
“Valhalla Rising” should hit theaters sometime in the Spring.  [via ThePlaylist]

*puts finger over mouth* Shh-shh, don’t speak.  You had me at “young boy gives a slave aids.”

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