The internet is all abuzz today about Madonna getting booed in Romania (where the “Borat’s village” scenes were filmed) supposedly for defending gypsies. Yes, the same gypsies who stole Borat’s wife plow and touch his horse in very bad way. Video is above, here’s what she said:
Does anyone know what layla palatootay means? Yes? Yes. Yes? Yes. Yes? It’s Romany, for “the madness of love.” Yes. Because what other kind of love is there? But mad love. Right? Now, I’ve been paying attention to news reports and… it’s been brought to my attention that there’s a lot of discrimination against Romanies, and gypsies in general in Eastern Europe. And that makes me feel very sad. Because we don’t believe in discrimination against anyone. We believe in freedom and equal rights for everyone. Right? Gypsies, homosexuals, people who are different – everyone is equal, and should be treated with respect. Okay? Let’s not forget that.
Despite what you may read on these other fly-by-night websites (like, say, uh… the Associated Press…), I don’t think it’s quite as simple as people booing her (and it doesn’t sound like too many actually booed her in the video) because of their Borat-like Gypsy hate. For instance, maybe they booed her because she talks to them like kindergartners. “And eating paste is very bad, right class? Yes? Yes? Jimmy, what did we say about waving our penises in class?” Or maybe they booed her because they weren’t sure if she was smart enough to know the difference between Romany (aka gypsy, a nomadic group thought to originate from the Indian subcontinent) and Romanian, and it seemed like a misguided attempt at pandering that ended with her calling everyone in the audience gypsies. Or maybe they weren’t booing her at all, but rather saying “boo-urns”. In any case, I think it’s safe to say that Madonna is a condescending bitch.
Why yes, making this picture was a waste of time, thank you for noticing
Gwyneth Paltrow told the press recently that she’s taken it upon herself to console her fellow pretentious fake Brit Madonna after her break up with Guy Ritchie.
“She’s a very good friend. I’m supporting her in all the ways that I can. I’m just there for her. I speak to her a lot,” Paltrow said as she attended the premiere of her film “Two Lovers” at London’s Film Festival.
Like Madonna, Paltrow — who’s married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin — lives partly in London. [AP]
Paltrow added, “Cor blimey, Madge, oy wiz roight knackered ta hear aboutcha split wiff da mista. Oy wiz loike, ‘Oy, ah you takin da piss?’ But fock’n hell, oy knoiw what it’s loike whin a bloke leaves. Feels loike ya fell doon a lift and got knobbed by a lorrie, innit? Hahd ta cope whin everyfing goes pear shaped, ‘specially ahfter yous stahted out arse ova tits fer each ovvas. But ‘ey, bish bash bosh, Bob’s your uncle, dis loife don git any easier, does it? Just keep a stiff uppa lip an troy not ta let any bum fodder cockups burgle ya dosh, d’ya know what oy mean?”
Seconds later, a shirtless JASON STATHAM crashed through a plate glass window, punched the crap out of everyone, and did a million pull ups.
Everyone’s reporting the big news today that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are officially divorcifying. I could’ve sworn they reported this months ago, but whatever. The important thing is that no one will ever make a movie like Swept Away ever again.
IFC Films recently released the trailer for Filth and Wisdom, “directed” by “Madonna”. It began as a short film and ended up not quite a feature at 80 minutes long. It will get a limited US release October 17th.
A Ukrainian immigrant, A.K. (Eugene Hutz), finances his dreams of ‘trans-continental superstardom’ with his band, Gogol Bordello, by turning tricks as a role-playing cross dresser. As A.K. literally whips the privileged of London into shape, he also secretly pines for the object of his affection, Holly (Holly Weston), an aspiring ballerina looking for her big break while moonlighting as a slippery stripper. Meanwhile, Juliette (Vicky Mclure) steals medicine from her pharmaceutical job in hopes of quenching her dreams of helping Africa’s youth. [Apple]
Since premiering in Berlin in February, it’s been racking up the kind of unimaginative reviews you’d expect for Madonna movie:
“Madonna would do well to hang on to her day job” -Telegraph. Peter Bradshaw of The Guardian wrote “Well, it had to happen. Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now… she has graduated to being a terrible director.” Jonathan Romney of Screen International called the film “good-humoured, averagely average vanity project” and “a cheap and cheerful comedy,” adding that “Madonna simply cannot direct actors.”
I’m surprised no one went for the “it’s better than stealing babies” angle.
She sings! She acts! She’s Jewish! She’s English! She raps about Pilates! And now… she directs movies.
Her movie career did not amount to much, but Madonna will hope for better luck behind the camera when her directing debut makes its world premiere at the Berlin Film Festival in February. [Reuters/Hollywood Reporter]
Dude, keep in mind that’s like the mainstreamest of mainstream news outlets basically saying her movies sucked. That’s like AVN saying you have ugly tits (I guess? - sorry, the only way I can understand things is by relating them to porn). Don’t worry, Esther, my dad said I’d never amount to much too, and look at me now! I write stuff on THE INTERNET! Suck it, universe.
"Filth and Wisdom," which has been described as a low-budget music-based comedy, stars Richard E. Grant, Stephen Graham ("Gangs of New York") and Eugene Hutz, the Ukrainian frontman for gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello.
Sure, I’ve never heard of him either, but rest assured gypsy punk bands are like the new coolest thing and everyone’s going to be into them soon enough. It’s gonna be like Crunk and The Macarena times ten, bro, you just don’t know it yet.
