GHOST RIDER VS. MACHETE

This site isn’t always about movie stuff that sounds like news, sometimes it’s also about news stuff that sounds like movies. This latest story about an incident in which a machete-wielding man squared off against a main swinging a chain in front of a backdrop of a flaming tow truck in DC most definitely qualifies as the latter. Hell, that sounds like the best Mortal Kombat level ever. Did you hear that tiny explosion sound, the one that sounds like a cross between C4 and a small harp? That was the sound of Michael Bay popping a boner.

A man was arrested for attacking another man with a machete at the scene of a tow truck fire Wednesday at 8150 Richmond Highway.  “We did get a call around 1:18 this afternoon of a tow truck that was on fire, and several calls of a man nearby swinging a chain, fighting a man with a machete,” Fairfax County Police spokesman Eddie Azcarate told Patch. “Officers arrived and were able to take one adult man (with the machete) in custody.” [LortonPatch]

The man with the machete was arrested, Azcárate said, while his chain-lashing opponent suffered minor injuries in the duel. However, he did not require transportation to any hospital. “Presumably he took himself to get checked out,” Azcárate says.

Whatever prompted the fight and the fire is still being investigated, but Azcárate says they are connected.

“One led to the other,” he says. “They’re not necessarily related, but one came from the other.” [Editor's Note: Uh... what?] At least authorities are taking the description of this melee in stride, as reading back the notes Azcárate provided caused a laughing fit. “You’re not the first to chuckle about this,” he says. [DCist]

Oh, so the machete-wielder gets arrested, but the guy swinging the chain gets off scot-free? I guess that’s what he gets for using such an ethnic weapon. This country is RACIST, man.

I like to think those guys were shouting things like “SHABBY CHIC!” and “NO WAY, MODERN ALL THE WAY!”

“Come again, punk? Did you just say Chef Freitag is better than Chef Guarnaschelli?” (*pulls out machete*) “Now answer again, real carefully.”

Last night at Comic Con, where Vince was last seen challenging the cast of Glee to a jazz-hands-off, Robert Rodriguez and his new Castro hat dropped a major news bomb on his fans. Not only is he already hard at work on a Machete sequel (Machete Kills), but after that’s done and released, he’ll be giving us Machete Kills Again, which he referred to as a “space opera” or “Machete kills in space.” Funny, I remember watching the original and thinking, “Gee, this was a letdown this should be in outer space.”

On top of that, Rodriguez also said that he’s eager to get to work on Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For after he completes Spy Kids 4. The director claims that he has already written the Sin City sequel and that he’d like to get to work on it (in 3D, of course) this year. And on top of THAT, Rodriguez and Kevin Eastman announced that they are collaborating on a new Heavy Metal film, which David Fincher dropped out of in 2008.

So how the hell is Rodriguez getting all this work done, Indiewire? I mean, aside from the meth.

Already the owner of Troublemaker Studios, QuickDraw is just another avenue that buys Rodriguez his independence outside of the Hollywood system. “How to break into industry?,” he asked? “Rethink traditions. Having your own financing, you avoid the pain in the ass factor. Go right into how to get that idea out. It’s very important for a filmmaker to be part entrepreneur.” Like “Grindhouse” which spawned the career of “Hobo With A Shotgun” director Jason Eisener, Rodriguez said with “Heavy Metal” they’d also be holding a trailer contest—aspiring filmmakers take note.

Responded one of the fans in attendance, “I’m sorry, you said to rethink traditions and have your own financing? How do I get my own financing?” To which Rodriguez replied, “I’m sorry, I forgot the middle step – ???”

This week on the Frotcast, we discuss our utter bewilderment with the top 20 shows on basic cable and related questions.  Are we really that out of touch?  What the hell is Rizzoli and Isles? Then we talk to Preston, a fine young gentleman who started a fake Steve Buscemi Twitter account that ALLEGEDLY got shut down when Kirstie Alley, believing him to be the real Steve Buscemi, ALLEGEDLY began propositioning him. Allegedly.

Finally, Bobby Hacker drops by to talk to us about Machete and Bret tells us his thoughts after finally seeing Transformers 2 for the first time.

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Mail us your feedback, questions, suggestions, naked pictures, etc. at Frotcast@gmail.com. Thanks again for all your support, you magnificent bastards.

(*rides by turbo-charged Segway, scarf trailing in the breeze*)  ooooooOHHHHHHHHHHHH SNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPpppppppppppppp…….. (*bike horn*)

[via EntertainmentWeekly]

If you half paid attention to one of the Machete trailers and never saw the movie, you too would know that Robert Rodriguez’ film is an anti-white hateporn snuff film promoting genocide against the white race. This was first discovered by Bay Area National Anarchist (yes, “national anarchist”) leader Andrew Yeoman, who not only vowed to protest the Machete premiere while brandishing actual machetes, but even started a Facebook page. That’s right, sh*ts getting real now!  (*writes “HELTER SKELTER” on the wall with poop*)  ATTICA! ATTICA! (*throws pillow at cat*)

A group of white nationalists will protest the new Robert Rodriguez movie Machete at Bay Area cinemas this week. This gets even more interesting: The protesters will show up “armed” with machetes.
“We feel that this is an explicit threat to white folks,” Yeoman wrote on the far-right blog Occidental Dissent, “and that it is necessary to send a message to moviegoers and the producers of this film that threatening people because they happen to be white is unacceptable.” [SFWeekly]

Whoa whoa whoa, “happen to be white?”  I don’t know about you, buddy, but I didn’t “happen to be white”, I was bequeathed my pure-white skin by God himself so that I might rule over all manner of swarthy ethnics from behind locked doors as I drove through their neighborhoods shaking my head at their obnoxious jungle music. 

I digress, but the blockquote above was an excerpt from an article from last week, which among other things, included the news that carrying around a machete is apparently perfectly legal.

San Francisco Police spokeswoman Lieutenant Lyn Tomioka says there’s nothing inherently illegal with openly carrying around a machete, as long as protesters aren’t using them in a menacing manner.
Yeoman says “we feel that bringing machetes is important symbolism.”

Aw yeah, this is going to take my pigeon-chasing sessions to a whole new level.  So anyway, how’d that protest turn out?
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