I saw something about Louis CK’s Hilarious being available online for free yesterday, but I tried it myself and it didn’t work.  However, they must’ve fixed something because it’s working now.  All you have to do is go to this link and provide a working email address, and then login in using the code they give you in the registration email.  And that’s when the magic happens.  And by magic, I mean being able to watch Hilarious, which is basically 90 minutes of Louis CK doing stand up. And if you don’t think you would enjoy that, I probably wouldn’t like you. How could you go wrong with that?  I enjoy Louis CK’s show on FX, but I especially enjoy watching stand ups do what they do best, which is stand up.  Except for Bob Saget, who I hear is a fair to middling poker player.

Whatever, YOU try making a relevant Photoshop for this.

Louis CK’s stand-up comedy documentary (that is, a documentary that mostly features Louis CK doing stand up), Hilarious premiered in New York last night, and while I wasn’t there, our totally undeserving son-of-a-bitch part-time video editor Oliver was.  As you might expect, Louis CK said more awesome things than could fit in one post, so we’ve got half here and half over at Asylum.  Probably most timely was CK’s take on appearing on the Tonight Show with Bristol Palin just a day after calling her mother a “f*cking jackoff c*nt face jazzy wondergirl,” as well as opining, “I want to rub my father’s c*ck all over Sarah Palin’s fat tits” on Twitter.

I went to The Tonight Show and the other guest is Bristol Palin, [Sarah Palin’s] daughter. It was weird because when you’re confronted with an actual human being, it’s different… she walked towards me, and we’re on Television and I didn’t put my hand out because I didn’t know if she had read [the tweets]… I watched the side of her head as she talked to Jay Leno and that was weird. It was weird anyway without my tweeting. It was weird to sit next to Hitler’s daughter, who is famous for having a baby too early in her life…She was really scared [about being on the show]. She’s just a f-ckin’ person she’s not a celebrity….so I said to her, “Hey, you did a good job, that’s not easy” and she said “Thank you I really appreciate that” and then when she danced she asked me to dance with them. So I kinda stood there while they danced. It was weird… I won’t forget it.

Aw, that’s neat, I guess.  Louis CK remains quotable as always, but… I don’t know.  I guess I was hoping for something a little… juicier.  Like Sarah Palin’s fat tits, or my father’s c*ck.   More of the Q & A after the jump.
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^{Don’t worry, I’m still doing a normal Weekend Preview post.  I just thought we could also enjoy Machete’s Lindsay Lohan butchering the English language.  Unless… is leprosy an STD?  (thanks to Dan M for the tip)}

OPENING THIS WEEKEND (trailers after the jump)

The Movie: Machete, what happens when people stop being polite, and start f*cking with the wrong Mexican.
The Buzz: Most people seemed to like it more than I did, and I admit, aside from Grindhouse/Planet Terror, I was never much of a Robert Rodriguez fan.  There’s lots to love (just like your mom’s AdultFriendfinder profile), I just wish it was better.  And I wholly support putting Danny Trejo in every movie possible.  Actual exchange during a Danny Trejo radio interview: FILMDRUNK COMMENTER PAULY: “You’re like the Mexican Chuck Norris.”  DANNY TREJO: “Chále, Chuck Norris dresses like me for Halloween.”

The Movie: Going the Distance, a long-distance relationship comedy starring Justin Long and Drew Barrymore
The Buzz: Despite the fatal flaw of having Drew Barrymore play the lead in a rom-com, it’s actually gotten good reviews out of a couple people I respect, and has It’s Always Sunny’s Charlie Day, comedian Jim Gaffigan, and Rob Riggle in supporting roles (not to mention Jason Sudeikis and Ron Livingston).  I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s decent, but when someone says “starring Drew Barrymore!” all I hear is “step inside for a painful anal probe!

The Movie: The American, George Clooney plays an aging hitman who thinks he’s beyond redemption when on his last job, a mysterious stranger changes everything because we’ve never seen that before.
The Buzz:  (*snoooooore*) Wha? What happened?  Put it back on, I was just resting my eyes.

Notable Limited Releases:
A Woman, A Gun, And a Noodle Shop:  Hero director Zhang Yimou’s remake of the Coen Brothers Blood Simple opens today in New York and LA. Little known fact: 50 Cent once had a song about “taking you to the noodle shop” the he wisely left on the cutting room floor.

Louis CK: Hilarious: Documentary on comedian Louis CK featuring mostly footage of his stand up is now playing in Austin, Boston, San Francisco, Chicago, LA, New York, Philadelphia, and DC. I wouldn’t want more of the guy who famously wrote, “I want to rub my father’s c*ck all over Sarah Palin’s fat t*ts.”  I love that man.

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Louis CK gets drunk on an airplane.  Awesomeness ensues.  I feel like “Were the Beatles Jewish?” should be the new “Is the Pope Catholic?” or “Does a bear poop in the woods?”  Hey, dude, wanna join us for happy hour?  Uh, were the Beatles Jewish? [hat tip: IHeartChaos]

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Check out our latest Frotcast, in which we discuss Piranha 3D, porn stars, and me nearly impaling my colon on my own handlebars. |Listen, Subscribe|

• Things you should know about Hurricane Earl. |UproxxNews|

• The demands of Discovery gunman James Lee set to pictures of his favorite animal, the squirrel.  This was truly inspired. |WarmingGlow|

• A guy sticks his hand in liquid nitrogen.  Sadly, it does not freeze and then smash into a million pieces like Terminator 2. |GammaSquad|

• This was my favorite part of Hard Knocks the other night: Rex Ryan talking sh*t to opposing defenders.  |WithLeather|

• Your mom was hot. |TheSmokingJacket|

• A gallery of awkward first-day-of-school pics |Buzzfeed|

• Spank bank: Camille Washington. |GorillaMask|

• Mafia 2 demo: Playboy locations guide. |G4|

• Our friends at Severin Films have opened a web store.  |Severin|

• Smoking baby quits smoking, so that he can die of diabetes instead of lung cancer. |HolyTaco|

• “Michelle Rodriguez’ machete fail.”  By which I mean… derp. |ScreenJunkies|

• The undercoverwear lingerie model search. |BarstoolSports|

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Louis C.K. premiered Louis C.K.: Hilarious, a comedy concert film at Sundance this year.  Virtually every comedian you asked would tell you that Louis C.K. is one of the top five comics working today, which is why it’s so funny that Reuters/The Hollywood Reporter sent a reviewer who seems genuinely uncomfortable with this whole frivolity, er, thing.  Today, we break down his review:

Practically nothing is off-limits for stand-up comic Louis C.K., from toilet training his kids to Hitler and the Holocaust.

Poop jokes and politics, from a comedian?!?  My stars, I feel faint.

Paunchy, middle-aged, white single dad Louis C.K. (a.k.a. Louis Szekely) doesn’t appear at first to have a whole lot going for him as far as material or delivery…

I expected little from someone with such an unimpressive appearance.  For God’s sake, he wasn’t even wearing a suit!

…but in actuality he’s also a well-known actor, Emmy-nominated TV writer, screenwriter and director. His secret weapon is his willingness to go where other comedians fear to give offense — he simply doesn’t care how provocative he is.

I hadn’t heard of this fellow, as his name hadn’t come up in any of my journalism classes at Northwestern, but after someone mentioned him on NPR, I did some research on microfiche and was surprised to find that he’s quite popular. Not so much in spite of his ribald language, but because of it.  How curious!
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