Now with working video!

The fifth and final season (just read that it’s supposed to end in 2010. F you, Abrams.) of Lost begins in January, and finally, all of your questions will be answered. Is John Locke alive? What’s happening to the Oceanic Six? Who’s been keeping Sawyer’s chest waxed this entire time?

And so help me, Abrams, if you don’t provide some explanation for the black smoke monster I’m going to burn your goddamned house down.

[via /Film]

This is the trailer for Taken, starring Liam Neeson and that blonde chick from Lost, the only character that was almost as annoying as the other blonde chick.

A former spy (Neeson) relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter (Maggie Grace), who has been forced into the slave trade.

It was directed by Pierre Morel who did District B13 and written by Luc Besson of The Professional and The 5th Element fame.  I don’t know if this will be anything like The 5th Element, but I do think it’d be really sweet if the Dallas Cowboys were renamed Corbin Dallas.  I just don’t think the other football teams could handle 11 dudes sporting bleached-haired Bruce Willis helmets. 

Also, The 5th Element is kind of a ripoff of Captain Planet, because if you think about it, in the end, the fifth element was really heart. 

I posted the bootleg version of this a few days ago, but if the FBI is to be believed, you might as well steal your grandma’s cancer pills as watch that. You can watch the non-bootleg version above or in HD over at Yahoo.

I’m about three quarters of the way through the second season of Lost on DVD, so every time I see JJ Abrams’ name I’m wary of extended dream sequences* and faith vs. reason parables.  Thank God I’m watching it on DVD, if I’d had to watch it with commercial breaks and a week between episodes, I just know I would’ve thrown my TV out the window whilst shouting “Smoke?!** A puff of smoke?!? Damn you, Abrams!” 

And that would’ve been bad.  My relationship with neighbors has been a bit strained ever since the underpants incident. 

*What is it with dream sequences?  They’re like heroin to a hack writer.
**At this stage of the show, I can only conclude that in the forest lives a puff of smoke that’s afraid of black guys.