POW!  I hope all you fly honeys is ready to sweat, ‘cuz this is the Maaahky Maaahk workout video.  Damn, girl, is you feelin’ the burn?  Feel it, feel it.  (thanks to Brad for the tip)

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• Michael Crabtree needs a math lesson.  Not to mention a not-being-a-jerk lesson! |OpenSports|
• A gallery of awesome vanity plates.  We salute you, guy who spent $50 a year for “POOP”.  |HolyTaco|
• If horror movie ads went political. |ScreenJunkies|
• Every time someone yells “McFly!” in all three Back to the Futures, edited into one convenient video. |CollegeHumor|
• Remastered versions of God of War coming to Playstation 3.  |G4|
• The top 20 fictional mobsters, aka 20 fictional mobsters we could think of. |Gunaxin|
• Fictional wrestlers in movies.  Wait, aren’t all wrestlers fictional?  |UnrealityMag|
• I didn’t watch this video, but it’s called “Huge Dildo Teeth Knockout.”  |Atom|
• Guy tries to convince Danica Patrick that posing nude is not art.  Dear guy, shhhhuuuuuuut the f’ck up.  |OpenSports|
• The Iraqi shoe thrower wins his freedom. Meanwhile the American poo thrower continues to work at Fox. |SmokingSection|

I’m pretty sure this viral ad for Gushers isn’t actually from Germany, but then again all of the kids in it are white.  Either way, scary as a Nazi rally. [via PixelatedGeek]

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS:

• How can Brett Favre heal the schism in the locker room?  My advice, stop worshiping idols like those potato-eating heathens on the eastern side of the locker room. Alternately, missionary anal.  (See? Something for everyone). |OpenSports|
• The best one-kick knockouts of all time. |epiccarnival|
• HOLY CRAP.  |HolyTaco|
• The Final Destination Death Montage. |ScreenJunkies|
• Review of Batman: Arkham Asylum.  It’s, like, a video game.  |G4|
• In a shocking turn of events, Jeremy Piven’s agent admits that he was lying about his mercury poisoning.  The real question is how the hell he keeps his hairline from receding.  He might be a wizard.  |Heeb|
• Video remix: To Catch a Time Traveler. |CollegeHumor|
• GRR, PIZZA VENDING MACHINE.  But where can I get used Japanese schoolgirl panties? |SmokingSection|

(Set phasers to “ashamed”)

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• Steroid ruling means more for porn than for sports.  Wait, did someone say “steroid porn”?  |OpenSports|
• Adam Carolla interviews Christoph Waltz from Inglourious Basterds.  |AdamCarolla|
• “A grapefruit scent can fool people into thinking you’re several years younger.”  Plus, if you cut them in half, and your partner is a child, you can cover their entire face with it. |BlogofHilarity|
• 100 years of special effects. |Chrudat|
• News anchor can’t stop laughing at man who chopped up his wife.  |HolyTaco|
• The Legend of Neil did a musical episode.  And there was much rejoicing.  Maybe. |Atom|
• Robert Pattinson talks statutory rape. |ScreenJunkies|
• Philly.com reminds us of all the Simpsons quotes that make us laugh. |WarmingGlow|
• If prostitutes were like WiFi. |CollegeHumor|

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the picture]

(via WarrenEllis, via Buzzfeed)

Daily Circle Jerk Links

• Take the John Hughes movie quote quiz.  |OpenSports|
• Or if you’re not into that, check the NBA’s “All Ugly” Team.  No Jamal Mashburn?  Oversight. |OpenSports| |and the same for the NHL, for you Canucks|
• If G.I. Joe worked in your office.  Your boss would probably be jealous of him, too.  You know he just resents you because of how good a worker you are.  One day you should just burn that place to the ground.  That would show him.  That would show them all.  |HolyTaco|
• Remember that high sexual infomercial for the “Shake Weight”?  Here’s the real audio track.  And by real I mean fake. |CollegeHumor|
• Tucker Max opens up about his upcoming movie and the time he dirty sanchezzed your sister during fleet week.  |ScreenJunkies|
• Did somebody say Breakfast Club parodies?  I dunno, I’m deaf from rockin’ out to Slayer.  Anyway, here are some of those. |G4|
• Eight wrestlers and their real names.  Ironically, Andre the Giant’s real name was “Chad Farthouse.” |Gunaxin|
• Heeb interviews Charlyne Yi about her love of Jewish guys.  Stay tuned for the follow up about her fondness for pandering. |Heeb|
• A commercial for “the internet.” |Atom|

There are a lot of things I could pick out in this “yoga farm” video — that the main guy’s name is “Yogi Okey Dokey”, Rasta chicken, the kid wearing a gi — but the fact is, every single thing about it is completely insane. via EverythingisTerrible via Burnsy.

Daily Circle Jerk Links:

• John was on Jeopardy, and drew his name so it looked like a penis.  Also, he’s named after a toilet.  |CollegeHumor|
• Check out season two of Legend of Neil.  Or don’t, man, whatever, it’s your funeral. |Atom|
• G4 interviews some Cosplayers at Comic Con.  I don’t like to brag, but I used to be a bit of Cosplayboy myself, if you know what I mean. |G4|
• Where are they now, cast of Menace II Society edition. |Unreality|
• What your employee name badge says about you.  I don’t have an employee badge because I don’t work in an office.  But I do wear a codpiece.  |HolyTaco|
• 10 kickass preachers on film.  Which is way better than preachers on a young boys.  But not as good as a preacher on a sundae.  You’ve stopped reading this haven’t you. Can’t say I blame you. |ScreenJunkies|
• Canada vs. Italy game devolves into ugly brawl.  The Canadian bench apparently cleared when everyone rushed in to apologize.  Also pictured: every black dude in Canada.  I’ll be here all week, folks, don’t forget to tip the whores. |HoopDoctors|
• Memorable movie theme songs.  Huey Lewis wuz robbed.  |GetBack|
• 9 ways to improve your conversations with women. Personally, I find it’s best to put a frog in their pants and pull their pigtails.  And if they don’t have pigtails, just punch them in the face. |TSBMag|
• Here’s Miranda Kerr at a photoshoot.  Miranda Kerr is a girl in a bikini. |SlickPanda|
• The dirtiest names in baseball. Ironically, Johnny Dickshot’s actually changed his name from Chad Farthouse. |YepYep|
• The battle, as represented in graph form.  |NextRound|
• Gemma Atkinson is on vacation.  Also, and I just noticed this, her boobs are huge.  Who knew?  |EpicCarnival|