I feel a little bad that I was too hungover to do a weekend preview or a links post or a Friday free for all yesterday.  I hope that you’ll accept my apology in the form of this awesome blooper reel from a fishing show.  I don’t know what it is about redneck bloopers that make them so much more enjoyable than other bloopers.  Dadgumit!  Gaaw-lee!  [via bestRoofTalkever]

Links for your enjoyment:

• By all rights, this completely absurdist dub of Star Trek shouldn’t be funny, but I can’t stop laughing when I watch it. |WarmingGlow|
• Rihanna says she likes a man packing some heavy beef.  So you better come packing if you wanna… uh… hit that. (sorry). |FListed|
• Use this card to play mass transit bingo. |HolyTaco|
• The old CBC report on “the growing phenomenon of the internet” finds there’s very little swearing or personal attacks.  |GammaSquad|
• Sasha Grey talks Australia sexpo.  Maybe I’m weird, but this chick totally doesn’t do it for me.  She’s way too smug and she seems like she hates me.   And quit squinting, goddammit, it’s not that bright out. |G4|
• 10 movie fights you’d want to miss. |Moviefone|
• Yay, Rampage Jackson is unretiring!  Btw, my picks for tonight: Houston Alexander over Kimbo, Big Guntry over Schaub, Jones over Hamill, Edgar over Veach, Big Baby over Meathead, Titties over Limey C-Sucker, and Wren over Madsen.  Of course, that doesn’t take into account the fact that I just jinxed all those guys.  Aw, nuts. *kicks can* |Fightlinker|
• Armored review: “A heist film for morons.” |Pajiba|
• An update on Bourne 4 and whether Damon and Greengrass will be back.  People I respect love them, but… I really don’t give a sh-t about any of these movies.  |ScreenJunkies|

Someone sent me this picture of a dog in a sweater riding a tortoise, both of them covered in money. I guess this was at Texas A & M, but I have no context other than that, and that’s the way I like it.  He’s like the Hannibal of lap dogs. But classier ’cause he’s wearing sweater.

Daily Circle J Links:

• Techno Chicken.  That is all. |CollegeHumor|
• “Man walking like Frankenstein says ‘hammer, hammer, hammer’ while smashing TVs inside Target.” |Fark|
• Ten movie titles that appeal to zoophiles.  That’s me! |Pajiba|
• Were you aware?  Jim Carrey is somewhat less than sane. |GammaSquad|
• Pumpkinhead is back, just in time for Christmas. |HolyTaco|
• Steven Seagal in Fat Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. |ScreenJunkies|
• Liver, meet the 32% alcohol beer.  Though technically, wouldn’t that make it a beer-flavored liqueur? |FListed|
• Unsupervised teens in a hot tub. |Atom|

(I realize this video doesn’t work on some browsers, but find one on which it does. I promise it’s worth it.) This is John Mellencamp’s rejected football promo song.  I can’t imagine why they rejected it.  It perfectly sums up my Sundays. [via Cracked, thanks to Chodin for the tip]

DCJ Links:

• Your parakeet explains why he refuses to eat your diarrhea. |HolyTaco|
• A disaster porn retrospective. |Moviefone|
• Joss Whedon’s show that I never watched got canceled.  Damn, one of these days I’m going to be aware of something he does. |ScreenJunkies|
• Winona Ryder is doing Hallmark movies now. |Pajiba|
• A gallery of “now hiring” pictures. |CollegeHumor|
• Drunks vs. Highs. |Atom|
• Hot chicks dig skateparks. |Guyism|
• A sexy Yeti gives 401K advice. |G4|

I’ve long thought that people who make bad PSAs are as bad as child molesters, and these ultra-perverted anti-pedophilia ads (couple more after the jump) are as close as I’m going to get to proof.  When I’m king, those Truth kids and whoever decided to play that commercial with the dying guy with the nose tube and voice box every five minutes will have to register when they move into new neighborhoods.  On second thought, let’s just send them to camps. [via hookedonads]

DCJ Links:

• A rundown of Jewish aliens in pop culture.  Jewish aliens are the best to have, because they don’t make the property values go down. |heebMag|
• Confessions of a Ross employee. |HolyTaco|
• Fruit bats love oral sex, apparently. |Asylum|
• The five saddest Pick-Up Artist acronyms. |Guyism|
• Leaked Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 footage features playable terrorists. |G4|
• Richard Kelly talks about his box.  The Box.  It’s full of secrets. |ScreenJunkies|
• Bruce Lee plays ping pong with nunchuks, lights matches with nunchuks in this video.  It’s not real, but it shows Nokia is a lot better at ads featuring dead celebrities than DirecTV. |WithLeather|
• This chick will teach you how to make the wookie noise, and sadly, that’s not a euphemism. |ToplessRobot|
• Live hard, drink hard, crash hard. |Atom|
• Woman calls 911 on herself for drunk driving.  Key quote: “You am them?” |FListed|

Read the rest of this entry »

Someone sent me this music video.  I suffered through it and now I’m sharing my misery with all of you.  It’s like everything bad crammed into one song.  At least watch until the electronic breakdown.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS:

• Take the 2009 Sex Survey.  Do they have write-in questions?  Why yes, I am masturbating right now. |CollegeHumor|
• Juan Manuel Marquez drinks his own pee.  No, that’s not an insult, here’s the video.  Damn, I normally have to pay extra for this. |Recall|
• DC Comics to become DC Entertainment, which sounds like it involves strippers but doesn’t. ;-(  |GeeksofDoom|
• Penalties for college freshmen. |HolyTaco|
• Preview of ‘Shank’. |G4|
• In India, superhero movies tech support YOU.  Wait, I think I’m doing this wrong again. |ScreenJunkies|
• The wit and wisdom of the Pokemon world champion. |ToplessRobot|
• You probably haven’t taken enough psychedelics to understand this clip of Charo on the Jerry Lewis Telethon.  ME: What year is this from, like 1985?  UFFORD: 2009.  |WarmingGlow|
• Movie Life is behind the scenes on a low-budget horror movie something something chicks in bikinis. |Buzzcuts|

[Thanks to Bdarbs for the video, and for pointing out that this is called "crabcore."]