(via BoxOfficeMojo, *numbers in millions)

Before this weekend’s numbers came in, I expected Let Me In to play second fiddle to The Social Network, but holy crap. I did NOT expect it to debut at number EIGHT below friggin’ You Again.  Add to the poor opening the phenomenon of horror films dropping like a rock after their first weekend, and Let Me In is already circling the bowl like one of Jamie Lee Curtis’ loose BMs after an Activia binge (if I’m guilty of anything, it’s stretching too far for a poop simile). It’s a shame considering Let Me In actually looked decent and has been picking up mostly good reviews, but at the same time, you won’t see me crying if  Hollywood decides they aren’t going to remake two-year-old foreign films anymore.  Time to start learning to read subtitles, middle ‘murica.  Got damn furreigners, refusin’ to speak English ’cause they’re jealous of our freedoms.  These truck nutz don’t run, Frenchy.  (*suck it, double suck it*)

Meanwhile, a lot of people expected The Social Network to do better than $23 million. Zombieland did $24.7 million this time last year, for comparison.  Surprise, surprise, the early buzz is that it didn’t play to Middle America.

The reason may well lie in the film’s elitism which could be keeping more mainstream audiences away. “Left coast, right coast, and a smidge of Chicago only. The rest of the country could care less,” a rival studio exec pointed out the pic’s attendance patterns to me late Friday, adding Saturday. “It’s a big city pic only.” [Deadline]

Compooters?!  …Get the rope.  “Social Network?  Is that the one about the lil’ Jewish boy who talks too fast?”  I think that was the problem right there.  I liked the movie, but I don’t think the characters talking a mile a minute at each other in every scene added much.  And speaking as a country boy who moved to the city, I eventually saw it on the strength of good reviews, but I have to admit that my first inclination after seeing the first trailer was to sock someone in the belly.

(I’ve heard Jesse Eisenberg compared to Michael Cera before, but this picture sort of blew my mind. Via Reddit)

New in theaters this weekend:

The Social Network
That Facebook movie is out this weekend, had you heard?  I know, they should really be advertising it more. On a serious note, I thought about checking out a midnight screening of this last night so I could have a review up today, but I was tired, so we’ll just have to talk about it next week.  I haven’t loved every David Fincher movie, but none of them have been bad, and with almost everyone in the world saying it’s great, I have no reason to doubt them (comically dramatic trailers aside). Still, I’m sick of curly-haired guys always being unfairly portrayed as the villain.  GAY CLOWN-HAIRED AMERICANS ARE PEOPLE TOO, DAMMIT! I’m going to sue God in FEDERAL court.

Let Me In
Everyone was pissed when we heard the Cloverfield guy was remaking Let the Right One In, but the trailers all looked pretty good and the reviews are almost as good as The Social Network.  I’m just sad ODB isn’t here to see it.  He loved to go in.

Barry Munday (Limited Release)
This looks about as funny as a movie about a guy who gets his balls cut off could be.

Freakonomics (Limited Release)
Finally, someone blows the lid off corruption in the world of sumo wrestling.  You know, I knew something wasn’t right about those guys, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.  All this time I thought it might have been the giant diapers.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is the second trailer for Let Me In (much longer than the first), Matt Reeves’ American remake of Tomas Alfredson’s Swedish vampire hit, Let the Right One In.  The no-foreigners version stars Chloe Moretz of Kick-Ass, Richard Jenkins, and Kodi Smit-Mcpussyname.  I know, I know, remaking a recent, successful foreign movie using an American cast and the director of Cloverfield sounds like a terrible idea.  But as my buddy Pete says, subtitles are hella gay.  And is it just me, or does this actually look not that bad? It has pretty visuals, and they even managed to make Richard Jenkins look like a scary child molester:

It’s impressive, because despite the pock marks, Richard Jenkins is usually the type of guy who could give your kid a candy and you let them eat it without even checking for hypos first.  He’s like that old lady who you’re mean to because she’s weird looking, but you later find out she was actually Jesus, and now you’re cursed. That was my favorite bible story.

Also, is it just me, or does that second poster look a little… menstrual?

[posters via CinemaBlend, trailer via Vulture]

Four-eyed poindexters are always trying to tell you how good some foreigner movie is, to which I always say, “Oh yeah?  Well riddle me this, nerd, if it’s so good, why come they didn’t make it AMERICAN, huh?” then I point to a spot on their shirt and when they look down, I kick ‘em right square in the d*ck. Haha, made you look, pussy.  Tomas Alfredson’s vampire flick Let the Right One In was just such a movie.  Supposedly it was good, but it was also fulla Swedes.  Luckily, Cloverfield director Matt Reeves made a new version (Let Me In), and this one you won’t have to sit there reading like a queer.

This one’s supposed to be faithful to the original, but have more blood and more violence and more BODIES HITTING FLOOR.  Chloe Moretz, that hot slit from Kick-Ass (just my type), plays the vampire chick, and Kodi Smit-McPhee from The Road plays her friend.  You ask me, “Cody” is a good, solid AMURRICAN name.  Seems a shame to queer it up with an I and a hyphen like that.  Guess it ain’t his fault his parents’re queer. But still, I think I’m gonna have to call him “McPussy.”  (*spits Skoal into Gatorade bottle, continues whittling Truck Nutz*)

Let me een leetel girl. You can zee, I am not zee vam-pair.

[via Deadline]