Paul Hupfield and Stewart Williams were working at MTV in the UK when they were challenged to come up with the most commercial film title they could think of, and they came up with “Lesbian Vampire Killers.”  Phil Claydon thought the idea was so hilarious he made a movie out of it.  The movie got mostly bad reviews, but now Claydon has been hired to direct another movie.  Why?  Because he made a movie called Lesbian Vampire Killers, of course!  It never gets old!

Conceived as a light-hearted homage to 1980s action thriller such as “Cobra” and “Missing in Action,” “Dan Mintner: Badass for Hire” centers on a tight-jeans-wearing, matchstick-chewing man stuck with an ’80s mentality while kicking some modern-day butt.  The New Line comedy is being produced by Contrafilm’s Beau Flynn and Tripp Vinson with Mason Novick.

“Phil was basically hired off the title alone of his first film,” Flynn quipped.  Added Vinson: “And after actually seeing it, we knew he was the man to kick ass on ‘Dan Mintner.’ Plus, his film had our two favorite things in cinema: vampires and lesbians!” [THR]

Seconds later, Flynn tripped over his shoelaces, Vinson shouted “Play him off, keyboard cat!” and Novick laughed so hard he squirted Yoohoo out his nose.  Good times, good times.

Pictured: a lesbian vampire’s axewound

Lesbian Vampire Killers began as a challenge to come up with the most commercial movie title ever, and the rest is sort of paint by numbers.  It opens in the UK on March 20.  Still no word on a US release, but after the jump you can watch the trailer.  It basically looks like a poor man’s Shaun of the Dead.  And for some reason, the lesbian vampire blood looks like semen.  Is that some kind of British irony humor?  You can never tell when these fruits are joking.  Here in the good ol’ US of A, when know we’re supposed to laugh because Kevin James’ pants are falling down.

Read the rest of this entry »

Lesbian Vampire Killers has a new poster out which is good, because posters seem to be the main focus of their marketing efforts.

BAFTA winning comedy-duo James Corden and Mathew Horne (Gavin & Stacey) decide to escape their problems and head to the countryside for a weekend of debauchery.  Things don’t quite go to plan and they find themselves stuck in a village where all the women have been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse. As the night unfolds the boys have to put all of their fears (and dreams) behind them in order to rise to the challenge of becoming LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS. [horror-movies.ca]

They won’t go down without a bite. “Bite” because they’re vampires, “go down” because they’re lesbians, you see.  Isn’t that clever?  These Brits and their educations, they’re freakin adorable, like a baby chick wearing a monocle*.  Although at this point I’d still rather read about this movie than actually see it.

*Whom I would name Darlington Cheepsworth

Yes yes, the movie’s called Lesbian Vampire Killers, it’s all very kitschy and provocative.  Say the title a few more times, I don’t think people will remember it yet.  Look, guys, it’s a good name (and according to the Wikipedia page, the whole project started with a challenge to come up with the most commercial film title ever), but you’re really gonna have to work a little harder .  This is the internet.  I can find underage girls getting a golden shower from a rhinoceros if I look hard enough. If you want to outdo the Japanese, someone’s going to have to lactate and/or explode.