Lenny Kravitz is… Scarf Ace. [via Awkward Elevator]

MORNING LINKS
Samuel L. Jackson refuses to answer questions until interviewer says n*gger. |FilmDrunk|

Awwwww [via Pleated Jeans]

The Reviews Are In And Guy Fieri’s S’mores Pizza Is Predictably Terrible |Warming Glow|

High School Sophomore Victor Dukes Is Really, Really Good At Dunking |With Leather|

New ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Pictures, Now With More Defenestration |Gamma Squad|

Pot Enthusiasts In Denver Had The Best New Year’s Eve Ever |Smoking Section|

Meast And Least For Week 17 And Meast And Least Of The Year |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Great celebrity photos you have likely never seen |theChive|

13 Actors Whose Faces You Know From TV But Names You Don’t |Buzzfeed|

Here’s Lindsay Lohan’s Definition of ‘Not Partying’ For New Year’s Eve |The Superficial|

George Costanza Dress Is Real, Amazing |HuffPost Comedy|

The Details Of Kate Winslet’s Life Are Real And Also Normal |Videogum|

12 Historical Speeches Nobody Ever Heard |Mental Floss|

Justin Bieber Kinda Killed A Guy |Screen Junkies|

10 Ways to Apologize for Your Actions at a Party |College Humor|

Kim Kardashian Is A Classy Mom |IDLYITW|

Bruce West Keaton Kilmer Clooney Bale Wayne |Unreality|

Japanese Marshmallow Eating Contest |Clip Nation|

The 10 Most Scathing and Bitchy Film Reviews of 2012 |Pajiba|

50 Movies We’re All About in 2013 |NextMovies|

Strip Clubs Just Get Classier in 2013: A 15-Foot Fall & Drunk Child Care |Hypervocal|

Oscar Predictions: Where Do We Stand on Best Actor? |Film.com|

Man Eats Denny’s Entire ‘Hobbit’ Menu… in 20 Minutes! |Smosh|

Spotify’s 20 most streamed songs of NYE, in the United Kingdom. What’s the point in musicians even trying any more? |Fark|

The Ohio State Ski Club’s Trip to Aspen Didn’t Go Well |Brobible|

Fireworks In Reverse |High Definite|

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"Read between the lines, bro."

I didn’t read the books, so I don’t know that much about The Hunger Games, directed by Pleasantville/Seabiscuit‘s Gary Ross, other than that Lionsgate wants it to become the next Twilight. Judging by the just-released trailer, it seems to be severely lacking in vampires, abstinence, heartburn faces, or even the most vaguely ethnic temptation wolves. But it does have some neato made-up names you could imagine on a Duggar or Palin, like “Prim,” and “Katniss.” Still, it’s no “Renesmee.” That’s like a combination of “Renee” and “Esmee!”

Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the evil Capitol of the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. A twisted punishment for a past uprising and an ongoing government intimidation tactic, The Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which “Tributes” must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). If she’s ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.

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THIS WEEK IN POSTERS: Alvin and the Chipmunks, more Hunger Games posters than a rational person could ever want, Mark Wahlberg, Elite Squad, and some other stuff.

This poster: Simon is dressed so bro-y in this, those glasses aren’t nearly enough to keep him from looking like he’s at a fraternity formal. “Hey, bro, you been down to the cabana bar yet? There’s so much hot tail down there, bro, I just wanna stuff it all in my cheeks and save it till next spring. After we finish these coconut shooters, I’m gonna head down there with Ox, Dozer, Mike P, and Pinkeye to meet up with those Theta skanks from the flip cup tournament if you wanna roll. Sack up, pussy! It’s gonna be sick!”

Wait, is that the plot of this? Because I would totally watch that. “ALLLLVIIINN! Wake up, bro, those DG sluts wanna invite us to their foam party!”

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