This may come as a shock to you guys, but it turns out, Laurence Fishburne isn’t exactly thrilled about his 19-year-old daughter filming multiple porn movies, or about letting Brian Pumper rap about how he wants to put farts in her vagina.  Okay, I’m just guessing about that second part, but I’m pretty sure.  Anyway, apparently Laurence, who made $8.4 million last year from his role on CSI alone ($350K an episode times 24) has a solution to all this.  That solution?  The silent treatment.

Montana says Laurence told her she is unwelcome in his life and wants nothing to do with her … at least for now.  According to Montana, her dad said, “I’m not going to speak with you ’till you turn your life around.”
Montana says Laurence added, “You embarrassed me.”
And this parting shot.  According to Montana, Laurence said, “You used your last name. No one uses their real name in porn.” [TMZ]

Good strategy.  I’ve always heard the best way to prevent porn is a father who’s cold and distant.  “If only my dad hadn’t been so involved in my life I wouldn’t be doing this,” strippers are always saying. Anyway, look for Montana’s next Vivid release, “Turn Your Wife Around”, coming this fall.

“And another thing!  No one lets a guy rap about putting farts in her vagina!  Farting vaginas?  Is that supposed to be sexy? It just isn’t done! And what the hell is ‘monkey fufu’ supposed to mean! You! Are! Grounded!”

It looks like Larry Fishburne and his buddies who wanted to buy all of Montana Fishburne’s Vivid pornos before they hit shelves might want to save their money, because as it turns out, Face Time wasn’t her first wiener rodeo.  That honor goes to Freaky Empire’s Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14, which was shot a few days earlier.  God, what is it with sequels this summer?

Montana Fishburne, using the stage name Chippy D., appears in an almost hour-long scene with Brian Pumper in Phattys Rhymes & Dimes 14, set to release next week—two weeks before Vivid’s release on Aug. 18.

With Vivid’s release of Montana Fishburne, a reality-based “thrill-sex” sex tape, viewers will get to see another side of the famous actor’s daughter in a scene from Freaky Empire’s gonzo production.

“This scene was shot, I believe, a day or two before she went to Vivid,” Freaky Empire sales manager Danny told AVN. “It’s a really good scene. Her and Pumper were friends; they knew each other before the shoot. This is her first scene as a performer.”

Danny said that Pumper initially wasn’t aware that shooting Fishburne was such a big deal.

“He came to me and said, ‘Guess who’s in this movie?’” Danny said. “When he told me I said, ‘Are you kidding? No big deal?’ This girl is 18 or 19 and she’s just adorable. Hot. And the scene is really good. She can perform. I mean, she’s taking on Pumper.” [AVN]

“I mean, she’s taking on Pumper.”  Best. Quote. Ever. I would love to someday be a good enough lover that a woman would have to “take me on” rather than “lie still for 97 seconds.”  Also, I don’t want to tell black folks how to advertise, but when we whities are titling our pornos, we name them something specific and descriptive, like “Bob’s Midget Amputee Dildo Party 7,” so that the customer knows what he’s getting.  “Rhymes and dimes”?  I might not be totally current with my slang, but doesn’t that basically mean “rap and marijuana?”  Do black people really like smoking dope and rapping so much that it gets top billing over money shots and vaginas?  This would make a fascinating cultural study.

UPDATE: Apparently she was also arrested for prostitution last year.   You know, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Laurence Fishburne may not have been the best father.

UPDATE 2: According to this interview, she claims her “prostitution” arrest was actually for trespassing.  She also says her high school and current boyfriend is also a porn star who goes by “J Pipes.”  Oh, Los Angeles, don’t ever change.

In one of the most surprising stories of the year, TMZ reports that Laurence “Don’t Call Me Larry” Fishburne isn’t thrilled with his 19-year-old daughter’s decision to star in a porno movie in order to be more like Kim Kardashian.  Pff, dads, amirite? It’s like Will Smith always said, parents just don’t understand. (*stays up past midnight, eats ice cream*)

Montana Fishburne — aka “Chippy D” — tells TMZ, “[My dad] is very upset. I heard that he’s mad at me but I haven’t spoken to him yet.  I feel pretty confident that I can work things out with him.” [Chippy D? That's like a rap name I would've come up with when I was 10. -Ed.]
But here’s where she might be wrong — adding, “I think he wants to support me in everything I do, and though he sees this now as a negative, I believe in time he will view it as a positive.”
According to Montana, she and Morpheus have always been on good terms — in fact, up until the whole porn thing, she claims they spoke on a weekly basis. However, Montana also tells us she never gave her dad a heads-up on the porno news.

I’m sure this will all work out fine.  From what I hear, most porn chicks have great relationships with their fathers.

[more NSFW pictures over at Durden]

"WHY SHE CANNOT MAKE ZEESS TAPE SEEX YEARS AGO?"

If any of you young girls out there are taking notes, Laurence Fishburne’s 19-year-old daughter Montana has found a fool-proof way to break into Hollywood (besides having a famous father, of course): doing porn.  You have to admit, “Montana Fishburne” does sound like a porn name.  Possibly a porn title.

TMZ has learned Montana Fishburne is starring in a porno flick for Vivid Entertainment — explaining, “I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.”
Unlike the celeb she admires — Montana is not arguing that her tape was stolen or obtained illegally.
We’re told the flick is set to be released in August.

TMZ also says the film will be “hardcore”, which, if they’ve been using their porn-term style guide properly, implies that we’ll actually see “dongs going in” and not just some Playboy video.  Now, far be it from me to discourage any young girl from doing porn (especially someone still in their teens, “barely legal” I believe is the term), but I think she’s got this all wrong.  See, if you’re the daughter of a famous person, it’s not carefully calculated career moves that are going to make you famous, it’s acting like a spoiled, stupid whore.  Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are famous because they have sex tapes, but if it had seemed like they planned those sex tapes (which they did, but I’m talking about the public perception here), it might take away from the “vacuous moron” aspects of their character that people seem to enjoy so much.  No one wants to buy perfume and leggings from a goal-oriented girl who refuses to be embarrassed about her sexuality.  We want to buy it from a rich idiot who’s always flashing her vagina on accident because she’s so stupid, and thus, lovable.   So quick, go on TV, say this was all the tabloids trying to make up stories about you. Cry, and say “like” a lot. Then in a week “accidentally” leak the tape to RadarOnline.  You’re welcome.

The Robert Rodriguez-produced Predators (directed by Kontroll‘s Nimrod Antal) opens July 9th, and this is the newly-released international trailer.  This time around, the predators will be hunting the most dangerous game: Adrien Brody.  The humans have been dropped into some sort of space game preserve (which we know because A Brodes says “I think this is some sort of… game preserve”), so presumably, the Predators in this one will be the fat, white Texas predators that are too lazy for regular hunting and ride around in golf carts.  Aside from Adrien Brody, the assortment seems to be a Russian (former fighter Oleg Taktarov), an African, another white dude, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo, and a Latin chick.  I applaud them for breaking up the usual stock-photo arrangement of two whites, a black, and an Asian.  Seriously, look at any college course catalog or bank poster: it’s always two whites, a black, and an Asian.  It’s like the John, Paul, George, and Ringo of stock photos.

Also, Danny Trejo plays “Cuchillo”, which means of course, “knife.”  Not to be confused with his other character, “Machete,” which means of course, “big knife.”  He should win the Oscar for stabbing people. And then he could fashion the trophy into a shiv and stab someone with it.