We’ve still got a regularly-scheduled Frotcast going up Thursday, but in the meantime, Frotcast correspondent Adam just finished editing together a best-of show. Yay, a double Frotcast week! (Please, please, try to contain yourselves).

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Welcome to the “Not Quite Best of” Best of 2011. There were many requests but not everything could be included…so, blame the intern if this doesn’t meet your approval. Big thanks to Laremy, Robopanda, and listener Matt B for their input. All music is from Burnsy’s Corner, well, except for one song. [And yes, it includes every Koi call]

• 00:00:51 – We kick things of with some Frotcast lore: the introduction to poop transplants, a bizarre (or normal) trip to Vegas, a vivid description of the aliens from Cowboys and Aliens, and a certain kind of hair removal. [Hint: It's butthole Nairing!]
• 00:18:38 – The guys discuss the law of the streets, a group film review goes awry, Brendan’s interaction with a creepy guy at a bachelor party, and “Erection, your onion,” — the Swedish gibberish episode, a must-listen.
• 00:37:10 – We listen to the banshee known as Jesse Jane at the AVN Awards, a tribute to Fake Bret, lothario Brendan discusses his love making skills, what happens when you introduce a banana phone into a poop transplant procedure, and the guys learn some interesting facts about Thomas Kinkade, the painter of light.
• 00:55:22 – The only way to review Tower Heist is with Jamaican accents, the amazing talents of Cytheria, and don’t take the law into your own hands: take ‘em to haters court.
• 01:16:33 – MMA attributes, Lindy reads the writings of Drunken Expat Writer, fun with Shia Labeouf’s name, the eeriest (yet spot on) impersonation of Willem Dafoe, and Vince gets frustrated at Comic-Con.
• Bonus track – Lindy West gets drunk, and inadvertently starts the “Kirk Douglas’s corpse going down a log flume with a boner mini-meme.”

SUBSCRIBE. EMAIL US. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL: +1 (415) 275-0030

Oh, and sent in by listener Logan, here’s “Armond White Reviews the Frotcast,” which was both clever, and frighteningly accurate:

Read the rest of this entry »

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast:

• Instead of playing a clip from one of my good stand-up shows, like any intelligent person would do, I play you one from a couple days ago where I got halfway into a joke and almost started a fight between Brendan and a heckler. Hey! Rough crowd, rough crowd. Try the Mad Dog, don’t forget to tip your hobo.

• We bring on Burnsy for a holiday music edition of Burnsy’s corner. Bret has never heard Fred Figglehorn before and almost loses it. His apoplection is palpable. This bit culminates in a horrific karaoke rendition of Nelson’s “I Can’t Live Without Your (Love and Affection).” Seems like forever that it’s been on Burnsy’s mind.

• We get Laremy Legel of Film.com to discuss awards season with us. Topic of discussion: have “awards movies” always been this calculated? Have awards voters always been this easily swayed by hype? We also get an exciting visit from “British Bill Cosby.”

• We answer your life/relationship questions, which occasionally gets overly personal/cathartic, as you might expect.

We went a little long this week, but only because we were having so much fun! Don’t you want to have fun? The only excuse for not listening this week is that you hate fun!

SUBSCRIBE (or write a review!) on iTunes. EMAIL US at frotcast@gmail.com. VOICEMAIL US at 415 275 0030. I had absolutely no reason to re-use that Kate Upton banner image, other than that people tend to click on tits.

Heh, "lady members."

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

[Listen on the player above, or download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

If you listened to last week’s Frotcast, you’ll understand the meaning of this picture (thanks, Marielle). Anyway, for this week’s special, 75th Thanksgiving Edition of the Frotcast, we played our latest Koi calls, discussed Thanksgiving movies with Laremy Legel, played some Steven Seagal Character or Porn Star game™, and finished off with a few of your emails and Hater Court.

QUESTION FOR NEXT WEEK: Ever been watching a movie with your mom that prompted her to reveal something awkward and sexual about herself? Send us your best “awkward movie moment with mom” story. Or you can leave it as a voicemail, 415 275 0030.

SUBSCRIBE TO THIS MOTHER BITCH ON ITUNES.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

[Listen on the player above, or download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

You guys, a week ago I made a firm commitment to drinking more Irish coffees while we record the Frotcast, and I think it’s really starting to pay dividends. Entertainment dividends!

I’d love to tell you that we spent the entire ‘cast talking about Shame and Michael F. Assbender’s big floppy Brit wang, but sadly, some other content did manage to creep in.

• We talked with FilmDrunk’s own Pauly Dangerously about Tweeting his way to a possible opening gig at Caroline’s tomorrow.

• Brendan discovers some disturbingly awesome facts about Thomas Kinkade, the Painter of Light

• Laremy Legel from Film.com comes on to discuss, yes, Michael Fassbender’s big ol’ elephant dong, AND AS A SPECIAL BONUS, he tells us about getting his anal fistula lanced in excruciating detail. Oh what a time to be alive.

• There was a lot of Fake Bret this time. I sincerely do apologize for that.

Thanks to Roy for the Willem Dafoe pictures, which probably won’t make sense to anyone who didn’t hear the last Frotcast, but to those who did, trust us, they’re high-larious.

EMAIL US your relationship questions/humblebrags/poop stories at Frotcast@gmail.com. LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL at (415) 275-0030, and especially, SUBSCRIBE TO THIS MOTHER BITCH ON ITUNES. Seriously, I don’t even care if you listen. I just want my mom to think I’m important.

Read the rest of this entry »

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

[Listen on the player above, or download this week's episode here (right-click, "save as.")]

This week on the Frotcast, the whole crew is back! Even real Bret! We talk about news stories, as well as:

• Discuss Spielberg admitting that nuking the fridge was his idea
• Talk falling asleep in class and then farting so loudly that your own fart wakes you up and then everyone’s staring at you [2:50]
• Wonder what the f*ck Ashton Kutcher is talking about
• Listen to Japanese butt-squirting contests (which nearly kills Brendan)[5:00]
• Hear John Leguizamo’s story about getting beat up by Steven Seagal [11:00]
• Ascertain just what kind of an establishment rents hot tubs — much like the place a few blocks from the frotquarters.
• Watch MC Hammer’s new campaign video for the Mayor of San Francisco.
• Listen to your voicemails

And of course, we bring on Laremy to play more “Steven Seagal Character or Porn Star.” Clearly, this is the greatest game ever invented, even if the ignorant proles that I have the misfortune to share a frotcast with don’t recognize it. True genius is never recognized in its own time.

Leave us a voicemail. We love them! Shine on, you crazy meth crystals. (415) 275-0030

Pitch us a game. Think you can do better than Seagal Character or Porn Star? Prove it.

Ask us/send us anything. Relationship questions, movie questions, naked pictures, pictures of your dog, naked pictures of your dog… whatever. We’ll take it. Frotcast@gmail.com

Read the rest of this entry »