Two new big trailers released last night/today, Kathryn Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty and Ruben Fleischer’s Gangster Squad. Watch ‘em both below, ya lucky so-and-so.

Zero Dark Thirty
You can’t overhype the pedigree here, with Kathryn Bigelow reteamed with her Hurt Locker screenwriter Mark Boal and a cast that includes Jessica Chastain, Chris Pratt, and Mark Strong, taking on the events of the Bin Laden raid. Oh and look, it’s Kyle Chandler playing a government dude again. Oh Kyle Chandler, why do you love the government so? But I’m not gonna lie, I’m not sold on this. Can you name me a single example of a good movie that was made depicting events as recent as this? It takes time to digest history into nice, nuanced story. They couldn’t have made Argo in 1981. Maybe they’ll prove me wrong, but so far I’m seeing a lot of explosions and dramatic music without a lot of substantive content. Plus the title sounds like bad dialog from an interracial porno. “Come here, baby, you know what time it is. Aw yeah, girl, isss zero dark thirty.” (*schlong*)

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The latest trailer for the JJ Abrams-directed and Steven Spielberg-produced Super 8 was revealed today, as the movie’s Twitter page delivered a link to a Twitvid page, bringing us to an all-time high for Twitter references in an opening sentence. The trailer gives us a glimpse of a simpler time in America, as a group of pre-teen friends sets out to make their own movie. Nowadays it would, of course, be a sex tape.

According to the film’s synopsis:

“In the summer of 1979, a group of friends in a small Ohio town witness a catastrophic train crash while making a super 8 movie and soon suspect that it was not an accident. Shortly after, unusual disappearances and inexplicable events begin to take place in town, and the local Deputy tries to uncover the truth – something more terrifying than any of them could have imagined.”

Spoiler alert: It’s Kirstie Alley naked.

Trailer after the jump…

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