(“Dere, now you stay out my store!  I tew you million time you buy or you leave!  My store not ribrary!  Riddo brack boy stay dis side wall unress you want buy!”)

Courtesy of /Film, here are a few more pictures from Sony’s Karate Kid remake starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan.  Once again I must point out that Karate is Japanese, so having a black kid do karate on top of the Great Wall is kind of the equivalent of a bunch of Arabs playing cricket at ground zero. Sort of.

People Magazine has the first picture of Will Smith’s son Jaden and Jackie Chan on the set of Karate Kid or Kung Fu Kid or whatever the hell it’s going to be called.  People calls it Karate Kid, but it’s set in China and features Kung Fu, which would be like doing a remake of NYPD Blue and calling it Mounties.

“I trained every day for four months with Master Wu [the film's fight coordinator],” Jaden, 11, tells PEOPLE as he takes on his first leading role as an American boy named Dre Parker who moves to China. “We did a lot of stretching.”

As the two stars built a dynamic relationship on screen, the teacher and student bond translated into real life. “Jaden had a lot of respect for me as his teacher, even off the set,” says Chan. “He is professional as many adult actors who have been in the business for years.”

A flexible young African American boy, a firm but patient Asian man… I like where this is headed.  *does kata in the nude*

So it looks like the Chinese remake of Karate Kid, which everyone pointed out should probably be called Kung Fu Kid, since Karate is Japanese and Kung Fu is Chinese, but was still called Karate Kid for a long time, will be called Kung Fu Kid again after all.  God I hate this story.

The co-production between the state-run China Film Group and Columbia Pictures started shooting Saturday in Beijing, Weng said.  “Kung Fu Kid” is being directed by Harald Zwart, who also directed “One Night at McCool’s” and “The Pink Panther 2.”

Will Smith — one of the film’s producers — Chan, Zwart and others symbolically removed a piece of red cloth covering a movie camera, after which Smith gave Chan a hug, according to video posted on Sina.com. His hair done in a huge Afro and wearing a bright red track jacket and blue pants, Jaden Smith stood and waved when he was introduced. His father ruffled his hair when he sat down. [AP]

OMG, did they also breathe oxygen while their hearts continued beating?? This just in: WILL SMITH IS SO GD BORING THAT HE’S CONTAGIOUS!  HE CAN EVEN INFECT PEOPLE WRITING ABOUT HIM THROUGH THE COMPUTER!  (*throws laptop in river, cuts off hands*)

In case you’ve repressed the memory, Will Smith is producing a Karate Kid remake in China, to be partially financed by China’s state-run China Film Group Corps, starring Jaden Smith as Daniel-san and Jackie Chan as Mr. Miyagi.  Moviehole recently dug up some details on the project and here is what they learned:

• Daniel-san will be named “Dre”.
• Story set in motion when Dre’s mom gets transferred to Beijing
• Dre’s “a skateboarding video-game buff” who has a rough time adjusting and gets beaten up by bullies, especially one named Li Quan Ha
• Chan’s Mr. Miyagi character, now called “Mr. Han,” is Dre’s building maintenance man, who discovers Dre (with a black eye) practicing martial arts kicks from his video game.
• “It’s still called “The Karate Kid” despite rumours it’d be retitled “The Kung Fu Kid” – which would make sense, considering it’s Kung-Fu, not Karate, that our hero learns in the film.”

And instead of a karate tournament, later in the film, Mr. Han helps Dre get a job with the government, where he’s on the front lines of a brutal crackdown on Li Quan Ha’s pro-democracy demonstration.  In the climactic scene, Dre crack’s open Quan’s skull with a “crane stick.”  Take that, bully.

Following rumors of a Will Smith-produced Karate Kid (1984) sequel, which originally had his son Jaden starring alongside Jackie Chan, the word now is, according to Moviehole, Stephen Chow is in talks to direct and play the Mr. Miyagi character.

Chow is the man behind Kung Fu Hustle, Shoalin Soccer, and the upcoming CJ7, and as astute readers may note, is Chinese, not Japanese. Personally, I don’t think about that kinda stuff because I’m enlightened and I don’t see people in terms of race.  Plus all Asians look alike.

The remake/sequel is rumored to be called “Kung Fu Kid” in light of the change in race/setting.  Regardless of who’s involved, I can’t imagine it will be half the movie that  Beyond the Ring is – they got John Kreese!

SWEEP THE LEG! NO MERCY!