One of Hollywood’s strange, or at least totally unrealistic clichés is that in comedies, no one, not even the bad boys and anti-heroes, cheat on their spouses unless they’re clear villains.  (See: Vince Vaughn in Old School).  Which is why it was a little odd that cheating showed up in the trailer for Couples Retreat, Vince Vaughn’s latest half-assed paycheck movie.  Oh yeah, about that…

I was struck that one subplot appeared to involve Jon Favreau vigorously, enthusiastically cheating on his wife (Kristin Davis) and that Universal would actually advertise that. [...] Well, guess what?  All those scenes of infidelity in the trailer (including Kristin Davis’s own assignation [hehe, 'ass' -Ed.] with her personal trainer) have been cut from the film, something I should have suspected when Favreau was dragged away from Iron Man 2 to do Couples Retreat reshoots shortly after the trailer’s release. Both Favreau and Davis still have wandering eyes in the film, but temptation is the couple’s main problem rather than onscreen cheating. Aside from an argument the two have late in the movie (which feels like it’s referencing the original storyline), there’s no indication that either one has ever been adulterous. [MovieLine]

I’m always amazed at how often mainstream entertainment will neuter itself because some unemployed dogwalker in the focus group cried when the movie barbie rubbed her crotchlump on a doll that wasn’t ken.  So now what’s the story, they saw other attractive people and then had a funny argument and stayed married? Oy.  The romantic comedy has long been losing any male audience that wasn’t specifically dragged there by a date by shutting out any storyline that isn’t sorority girl wish fulfillment.  Comedy characters are supposed to be less traditional than you.  It’s why George Carlin is funnier than Jay Leno, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is funnier than Two and Half Man, and why Kenneth from 30 Rock sucks.  Entertainment, and especially the romantic comedy, needs to grow some balls in a hurry.  And they can start by greenlighting my script for Planes, Trains, and Auto-erotic Asphyxia.  God, I drank way too much coffee this morning.

Not that there was really any doubt after the first one made $400 million dollars, but the Sex and the City sequel is now set to go forward, with all four actresses and the director signing deals with the studio.

There’s no green light and no start date yet for the sequel, but expect things to gel quickly, and don’t be surprised if there’s a 2010 offering on the Warners/New Line slate, say sources.

The “Sex and the City” movie made $400 million worldwide last year and more than $150 million in the U.S., as well as singlehandedly causing a spike in the Kleenex Corporations profits in 2008. [THR]

Aw, sick!  You mean to tell me there’s dudes out there whackin it to these old broads?  That’s just nasty.  …hold on, my assistant’s trying to tell me something… Oh, I see, because of the crying… Yeah, that makes way more sense.

This is from the Sex and the City movie premiere in London.  I have a hat just like that, except with a grizzly bear catching a salmon.

[Source] 

Sadly, it’s not Charlotte/Kristin Davis, because she’s a big prude.

Davis, 43, recalled the moment when the film’s writer and director Michael Patrick King told her to strip. She said: "He tried to get me to be naked in the shower scene. I feel like I can’t do that stuff. I feel really panicky about that stuff." [It's okay, baby, just relax. -Ed.]

Surprisingly, it’s not Samantha/Kim Cattrall either.

Cattrall was notoriously uninhibited as the promiscuous Samantha and frequently appeared naked. Now divorced, however, even the 51-year-old actress is featured only partly nude in the new film, in a scene showing her fantasising about making love while covered in sushi. [Source]

Jesus.  According to the ancient texts of my religion, post-menopausal vag should be kept far far away from raw meat.  Anyway, of course Carrie/Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t getting naked, so who does that leave?  …Yup, Miranda/Cynthia Nixon.  Orange you excited?  Reportedly the nude scene occurs when Miranda is surprised by a pack of lions while munching on acacia leaves down at the watering hole.    -Thanks to Robo for the tip

Eeep! A new Sex and the City trailer!

OH MY GOD! CARRIE’S GETTING MARRIED! CHARLOTTE’S HAVING A BABY! SAMANTHA’S BONING A YOUNG DUDE! MIRANDA… STILL A BIG LESBIAN GIRAFFE!

Be there May 30th to find out all about bridezilla Carrie (LOL!) and her new sassy black assistant.  I think I just queefed.    

ComingSoon has the first picture of all four chicks from the set of the  Sex and the City movie. As you can see, they’re all a little older and a little wiser but still dressed stupid.  

Miranda: still a big red lesbian giraffe.

Charlotte: I’d still hit that.

Samantha: still slutty, hence the red thing she’s wearing.  Sluts love red.

And Carrie: OH MY GOD SHE’S CARRYING THE SEVERED HEAD OF JESUS!! 

The latest word on the Sex and the City movie project is that almost all of the male love interests will be back.  Chris "Mr. Big" Noth signed in August, and word is that cHARLOTte's Howie Mandel-wannabe husband Evan Handler, Samantha's boy toy Jason Lewis, and Miranda's lesbian cover husband David Eigenberg will also be appearing.

Of course, this news has every vacuous yuppie whore wondering one thing: "What of Aiden, my effeminate son's namesake??"*

Sorry, ladies, it appears he's nowhere to be found, kicked to the curb like Carrie's plastic surgeon.  You would've been better off naming your kid D'Brickashaw.

And before you ask, I just thought you'd rather see a picture of Kristin Davis than Aiden.  NWS fun here and here.   

*2006:Aiden 30th most popular boy name, Aidan 44th  2005: Aiden 49th, Aidan 43rd  2004: Aiden 60th, Aidan 40th  2003: Aiden 73rd, Aidan 39th  2002: Aidan 63rd, Aiden not listed  2001: Aidan 99th

[via TVSquad and Wikipedia]