Sorry, folks, by now you’ve no doubt noticed and whined about my slow posting today.  I apologize.  This is what we in the business call a “slow news day”.  And on that note, here’s your first look at When in Rome, a romantic comedy from Ghost Rider/Daredevil director Mark Steven Johnson, starring Mr. Fergie Josh Duhamel and Norse elf Kristen Bell.  Hmm, do you think we could maybe squeeze Joe Lieberman in there somehow?  I don’t think it has enough of the most boring motherf-ckers on Earth involved yet.

The film tells the story of an ambitious young New Yorker (Kristen Bell), disillusioned with romance, who takes a whirlwind trip to Rome where she defiantly plucks magic coins from a “foolish” fountain of love, inexplicably igniting the passion of an odd group of suitors: a sausage magnate (Danny Devito), a street magician (Jon Heder), an adoring painter (Will Arnett) and a self-admiring model (Dax Shepard). But when a charming reporter (Josh Duhamel) pursues her with equal zest, how will she know if his love is the real thing? The film also stars Alexis Dziena, Kate Micucci, Bobby Moynihan (SNL) and Anjelica Huston. [/Film]

Dear Dax Shepard: I’ve said it before – fire your agent.  Oh, and as far as movie synopses go, my sense is that a key plot point probably shouldn’t have “inexplicably” attached to it.  That would more properly describe someone ever seeing this.

Fanboys is the many times delayed, much-discussed film about a group of guys who break into George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch to steal a print of Episode I for a dying friend. I won’t get into to the behind the scenes squabbles because they’re boring and mostly involve unattractive people, but suffice to say it opens February 6th 2009 after originally being set for August 2007.  The film also features Kristen Bell in a slave Leia outfit, which is apparently a selling point for some people. So far she seems to me like another Jessica Alba, someone who’s cute but not nearly hot enough to justify how uninteresting I find her.  She also appears to about three apples tall.

Having not seen this movie yet, I give it two “Mehs” and half a dismissive wanking motion.

Before you get all excited, the person who made this picture played a little fast and loose with the censoring star.  Bottom line, some Forgetting Sarah Marshall DVDs got shipped in which Kristen Bell’s nipples came unblurred.

Normally, when a high profile actress like Kristen Bell agrees to preform a sex scene that requires nudity… producers agree to blur out any accidental slips of her sacred privates…  There was only one problem – the blur had mysteriously moved in certain stills… so instead of covering up Bell’s famous assets it shaded an unimportant part of her arm… Oops.
…in the added clip her bouncing breasts were not able to be seen.. due to the scene’s dark setting. However… we were able to brighten image stills taken from those few seconds… leaving the “Heroes” actress temporarily exposed. 

Awesome right?  Oh, except Kristen Bell was wearing pasties during the scene anyway.  So, to recap, a couple frames of Kristen Bell’s pastie-covered nipples came unblurred in a scene where it was too dark to see them, so these guys paused, saved the frames, and lightened them in Photoshop so that you could almost see something.  Not very sexy, but it’s like a nice, nostalgic travel back in time to the days when you could jerk off to scrambled softcore on satellite.  These days, if a dog’s not getting fisted I can’t even get a boner.

[Check out the uncensored versions here, though keep in mind even the uncensored versions have pasties over the nips]

This is a PSA for the McLovin Fund, starring Kristen Bell and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. It hopes to raise money for a hopelessly typecast young actor who’ll probably never work again. *cough* Jon Heder *cough*

At first I was like, "Hey, that’s weird, he’s only about a head taller than she is," but then I noticed that her waist is actually higher than his is (meaning she’s probably standing on a box), and she’s wider (meaning she’s probably standing a couple feet closer to the camera than he is). So please, give money, because otherwise Kristen Bell will round up the entire village of miniature humans of which she is queen and they will tie you to the ground and poke you with tiny spears (they’re actually toothpicks – it’s kind of adorable).