HURRRR

Directed by She’s the Man and The Game Plan‘s Andy Fickman, You Again stars Kristen Bell and Jamie Lee Curtis as a mother and daughter who must face the secret they’ve both been hiding: before growing into the looks that made them the eye candy on countless TV shows, horror movies, and commercials for yogurt that helps you poop, they were ugly in high school.  And I mean straight-up glasses-and-acne-and-unflattering-shirts ugly.  Disgusting.  Sigourney Weaver and Odette Yustman play the pretty girls who were mean to them, because pretty girls are always mean to ugly ones, it’s science. You may remember Odette Yustman, whose butt starred in The Unborn.

Yadda yadda yadda, cheerleaders, hijinks ensue, Betty White says sexual things which is hilarious because because she’s old, and Kristin Chenoweth even shows up.  In fact, Kristin Chenoweth is my favorite part.  Before they show her name at the end, she’s in the trailer for less than a second, doing this:

Her finest role

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This is the trailer for Serious Moonlight, directed by Cheryl Hines of Curb Your Enthusiasm.  It’s from the last screenplay written by Hines’ friend, Adrienne Shelly.  Adrienne Shelly wrote and directed the critically-acclaimed indie, Waitress, a film whose appeal I never really understood.  It was full of clichéd dialog, characters, and situations, but I guess because it was done deliberately, people thought that was good.  It wasn’t really a satire or a parody and it wasn’t really funny so I don’t understand how deliberate clichés would be a good thing, but what do I know, I’m just a guy who loves kitties.  Tragically, before the film’s release, Shelly walked in on an Ecuadorian immigrant who was stealing money from her purse, and he killed her and tried to make it look like a suicide.

Phew, that’s a downer of a story, huh?  Anyway, Shelly wrote Serious Moonlight before she died, and it’s about Meg Ryan duct taping Timothy Hutton to a toilet when she finds out he’s leaving her for Kristen Bell.  Later Justin Long wanders in and duct tapes everyone some more.  It looks… not good.  Ben Lyons said, “I was duct taped to my seat!” Anyway, this is neither here nor there, but I’d really like to do a comedy about a neurotic neo-nazi called Curbstomp Your Enthusiasm.

My Lord, if ever there was a trailer that could just not SHUT THE F–K UP, this is surely it. Excuse me *cough* what I meant to say is that after the jump, I’ve got the hilarious, new trailer for the romantic comedy When In Rome, starring Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel. The film comes from director Mark Steven Johnson, who aside from having three first names like a serial killer, is the man responsible for such gems as Simon Birch, Elektra and Ghost Rider *flashes gang sign*. I would rather shoot myself in both feet with a speargun than write a synopsis for the film, but that just seems unfair to my soft, child-like hands, when IMDB‘s staff will do it anyway:

Beth Harper (Bell) is a young, successful real estate agent … but she’s completely unlucky in love. However, when the New Yorker travels to Rome to see her newlywed sister, she impulsively steals some coins from a reputed fountain of love, and is then aggressively pursued by a band of wannabe lovers.

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This one’s called Couples Retreat, directed by Peter Billingsley (the little kid from A Christmas Story, believe it or not), written by Jon Favreau, starring Vince Vaughn, Favreau, Jason Bateman, Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell, Malin Akerman, and that one fat black guy.  Here’s how the project came about.

“Hey, we should make a movie in Tahiti.  That way we can go dick around in Tahiti for a few months.

“Good idea.  What’s it about?

“I dunno… Relationships?”

“Eh.  Works for me.”

[also available in HD at Apple]

Sorry, folks, by now you’ve no doubt noticed and whined about my slow posting today.  I apologize.  This is what we in the business call a “slow news day”.  And on that note, here’s your first look at When in Rome, a romantic comedy from Ghost Rider/Daredevil director Mark Steven Johnson, starring Mr. Fergie Josh Duhamel and Norse elf Kristen Bell.  Hmm, do you think we could maybe squeeze Joe Lieberman in there somehow?  I don’t think it has enough of the most boring motherf-ckers on Earth involved yet.

The film tells the story of an ambitious young New Yorker (Kristen Bell), disillusioned with romance, who takes a whirlwind trip to Rome where she defiantly plucks magic coins from a “foolish” fountain of love, inexplicably igniting the passion of an odd group of suitors: a sausage magnate (Danny Devito), a street magician (Jon Heder), an adoring painter (Will Arnett) and a self-admiring model (Dax Shepard). But when a charming reporter (Josh Duhamel) pursues her with equal zest, how will she know if his love is the real thing? The film also stars Alexis Dziena, Kate Micucci, Bobby Moynihan (SNL) and Anjelica Huston. [/Film]

Dear Dax Shepard: I’ve said it before – fire your agent.  Oh, and as far as movie synopses go, my sense is that a key plot point probably shouldn’t have “inexplicably” attached to it.  That would more properly describe someone ever seeing this.