(Kevin Costner introduced the Daniel Craig popsicle to the American Indian.  Most historians say it caused their downfall.)

Collider recently broke the news that Daniel Craig, fresh off his AIDS mustache tour with Hugh Jackman, would replace Robert Downey Jr. in Cowboys and Aliens for Jon Favreau and Dreamworks.

Craig would play Zeke Jackson, the lead character in a story about Apache Indians and Western settlers who must lay their differences aside when an alien spaceship crash lands in Silvery City, Arizona. Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (“Transformers,” “Star Trek”) adapted the script.

Still no word on whether this too will be in 3D, but at a recent script meeting, execs asked Kurtzman/Orci, “Could this Zeke Jackson fall in love with a Pocahontas Cat Monkey?  Audiences really seem to respond to that.”

If the following project sounds like something you’d be at all interested in, you’re nothing but a mouth-breathing, monkey-faced drool bucket stealing valuable oxygen from living creatures.  Chances are, you’re also a movie exec.  Here, I’ll just give you the title: Xombie.  All together now:  Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhck.

DreamWorks, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci could be walking with a “Xombie.”

Could they really?  Could they be walking with a Xombie, Hollywood Reporter writer guy?  That’s funny, because you could be walking with a keyboard up your ass, if only your editor wasn’t a spineless crotch pony.
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Cowboys and Aliens is your basic aliens-as-metaphor-for-imperialism graphic novel, and has been in development for quite some time.  But sh’t got real back in June when Robert Downey Jr. signed on to star, and sh’t's about to get mega super real now that Jon Favreau has signed on to direct a script written by Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Damon Lindelof.  If you’re keeping score at home, that’s the writer/director team behind Iron Man plus the writers of Star Trek and Transformers, plus one of the top dogs at Lost.  If hotness were bricks, this project would have plenty.

The story centers on an Old West battle between the Apache and Western settlers, including a former Union Army gunslinger named Zeke Jackson (Downey), that is interrupted by a spaceship crashing into the prairie near Silver City, Ariz.  The story draws a parallel between the American imperialist drive to conquer the “savage” Indians with its advanced technology and the aliens’ assault on Earthlings, who must join together to survive the invaders’ attack. [THR]

Kurtzman, Orci & Co. (Kortzi) are taking over scripting duties from Iron Man writers Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby (Fergby), which is interesting, as it’s well known in Hollywood circles that Kortzi/Fergby is a professional rivalry the likes of which some say hasn’t been seen since Beatles/Stones, or Brando/Schwarzenegger.  The dueling duos frequently attend the same parties, and after a few Zimas, have been known to engage in some heated chicken fights.

[via HeatVision]