Apple released the new trailer for Dark City director Alex Proyas’ new movie Knowing over the weekend.  It stars Nic Cage, and like all the best Nic Cage roles, Nic Cage has uncovered advance knowledge of an impending catastrophe and MUST WARN THE WORLD ABOUT IT, NO MATTER WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YELLING HE HAS TO DO.

I think a funny sketch would be to film Nic Cage running around town knocking coffee out of people’s hands just as they’re about to take a sip, pushing people down before they can get into their cars, pulling their chairs out from under them as they’re about to sit down, etc.  And then when they look at him questioningly he could grab them hard by the shoulders and scream, “JUST TRUST ME, OKAY!!” and speed away on roller blades.

Knowing stars Nic Cage and was directed by Alex Proyas, who’s rightly acclaimed for doing Dark City and The Crow but also directed I, Robot, which I’m pretty sure sucks even though I haven’t seen it.  I mean ask yourself this, if it was any good, wouldn’t I have seen it by now?

Anyway, it’s impossible for me to see Nic Cage in a picture and not add a silly context to it.  Like this one, which I look at and naturally think “WHY DID IT BURN? WHYDIDITBURNWHYDIDITBURN!!!!”

With this one, I think alternately, “H-hello?  I heard my excess forehead skin was down here,” and “Gosh, it sure is dark.  I bet I could see better, if only I had Eyes of Noctum.”

*sigh* Ahh, Cage.  You complete me.

[via CHUD]

Courtesy of AICN, here’s the new poster for Alex Proyas’ Knowing, starring Nic Cage.  Notice how Nic Cage’s name is both above and more prominent than the Earth itself.  It’s stylized, yet psychologically true.

In Knowing, from Dark City director Alex Proyas, some kid finds a bunch of numbers written on a piece of paper inside a time capsule, and Nic Cage comes to his house and takes it from him because he’s a huge dick.  Luckily, Cage is also some kind of idiot savant and he discovers that the numbers on the paper correspond to every natural disaster for the last fifty years or some crap.  He uses the numbers to predict some future disasters, but no one takes him seriously because his forehead doesn’t move at all.  But of course he’s right, and he has to save the world from itself, hopefully by putting on a bear suit and punching the crap out of every chick he sees.

Thanks to Robo for the tip, opens March 20th.

After the jump is the trailer for the new Nic Cage paint-by-numb3rz thriller Knowing. The I in the title gets replaced by a 1 in the trailer, a clear indication that the script was texted to the director by retarded teenagers on lunch break at Best Buy. In it, Cage gets a piece of paper out of a time capsule with a bunch of numbers that tell him bad shit gone happen. It’s like a Beautiful Mind crossed with the Number 23 crossed with some plagiarism from a Donald Kaufman script. Do the numbers tell how it’d get burned?

-Christmas Ape