Welcome back, Drunkards and Drunkettes, to another installment of Florida Friday, where we fill you in on one of the nuttiest and therefore most typical stories of the week out of the Sunshine State. Can anyone in Florida top last week’s story about Katina Collins randomly kicking guys in the balls? Well, one Ft. Lauderdale man certainly gave it a shot.

A Fort Lauderdale man named Johnnie Blade is accused of “wildly swinging” a multiple-edged, four-foot long sword used by Klingon characters on the Star Trek TV series as he stood in the middle of a residential intersection. (Via the Sun-Sentinel)

Okay, in fairness, if the guy’s name is actually Johnnie Blade, I’m going to be upset if he doesn’t have a sword.

Blade, 33, was at the 2900 block of Northwest 4th Street in Broward County near Fort Lauderdale about 9:10 p.m. Tuesday, “proudly displaying” the crescent shaped weapon to passing motorists, a Broward Sheriff’s arrest report states.

Have any of you been to Florida lately? There are people on every street corner in every city spinning signs for apartments, restaurants and pawn shops. Hell, a guy proudly displaying his Klingon sword is a nice change of pace.

“This sword…is known to loyal Star Trek fans as traditional Klingon “Bat ‘leth” or “Sword of Honor,” according to the BSO report.

And I’m guessing that he was also in possession of Bat ‘hsalts, eh fellas?

Actually, he had less than 20 grams of marijuana in his possession and it seems that he was just very drunk. I assume that’s why the judge ordered him to stay away from swords and alcohol after he posted bail. Too bad he didn’t say anything about heroin and flamethrowers, am I right, Spock?

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This is a just-released deleted scene from Star Trek.  I loved the movie, but this highlights the one aspect I hated — shaky-cam, quick-cut action sequences that give you no sense of the spatial awareness of a scene, just the cliff’s notes cause and effect.  Anyway, I’ll let /Film describe the context because that’s easiest for me.

JJ Abrams shot a sequence for the Star Trek reboot featuring a few members of the infamous alien race, the Klingons. The scene featured Nero [Eric Bana] chained to a table being interrogated by the masked, ruffle-headed creatures with Centurion slugs who are looking to find out information on the future. The sequence basically explained what Nero was up to in the missing years. This is one of the deleted scenes in the prison break sequence that has found its way online to promote the upcoming DVD release.

Wait, so this was supposed to be the scene that finally gives us Klingons and now that it’s here they’re wearing a mask the whole time?  That’s like paying for sex and then finding out you have to wear a condom.  Relax bitch I told you I was clean.

A man in Colorado Springs recently knocked over a couple of 7-11s while brandishing a Klingon Bat’leth.  If there are any girls reading this, a Bat’leth is a Klingon longsword, first forged by Kahless around A.D. 625 according the ancient — oh nevermind.

The robber, described as “a white man in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a mask” robbed the first 7-11 at 145 N Spruce Street in Colorado Springs at 1:50 AM. The robber demanded money and left after getting an undisclosed amount of cash. According to reports, the clerk recognized the weapon “from the Star Trek TV series.”  A half hour later the Bat’leth bandit struck again at a 7-11 at 2407 Union, but after the clerk refused to give him any money the robber (in a very un-Klingon-like move) fled the scene. Neither clerk was injured and the robber is still at large. [TrekMovie]

You have to admire the second clerk.  “Oh, please, sir, don’t hurt me– Wait, is that a Star Trek weapon?  …If you leave within the next five minutes, I promise not to give you a wedgie.”