Another Tropic Thunder viral site just went live today, this one covering Robert Downey Jr.’s character, award-winning Australian actor Kirk Lazarus (you may remember the Tugg Speedman sites from last week). I normally don’t cover viral sites for upcoming movies because they’re usually pointless marketing papsmear exhorting me to go on a scavenger hunt for the chance to see their stupid poster. As Tropic Thunder wisely illustrates, keeping me entertained is a one-way street.
“6 Time Crying Monkey Award Winner"
[From his bio] …Kirk finally settled and was raised by his aboriginal half-sister Bree (three years his junior) and her boyfriend Angus, in a modest apartment bloc in Coober-Pedy. After years of living on government assistance, and finally ready to strike out on his own, the thirteen-year-old Lazarus set off to find his fortune. According to his half sister (now late) he had “A real handle on catchin’ and knockin’ tha piss out of the wallabies, and he was as wild as a one legged dingo with a rash.”
Restless after apprenticing for several years as a “Nuisance Kangaroo Catcher” in the suburbs of Canberra, Kirk tried his hand at several other jobs. First working at a Pig Iron smelting plant, then a Concrete Manufacturer, then a brief stint as a Truck Driver, and finally coming to work at a Thumbtack and Nail factory.
….It wasn’t until 1989 that Lazarus got his first big break. Playing teenage undercover cop “Zack Blake” in the urban hip-hop cop drama “Rap Street”. He seemed born to play the role of the illegitimate son of a boxer who had worked in a nail factory before going to Juvie for stabbing a pornographer, copping a plea, and becoming a cop. The role, however, only lasted a year, and Kirk was let go after stabbing a make-up artist in the neck with a comb when he tried to put eyeliner on him.
…After a few knocks and perceived career missteps, like declining to take the role of the retarded boy in "What’s Eating Gilbert Grape", Kirk finally got his first big shot in the movies, playing a southern racist Klan leader in the civil rights film "Whistlin’ at White Women."
Anyway, there’s more over at KirkLazarus.com and most of it’s pretty funny. But you know what’s not funny? White slavery.