"The acid's makin' me feel like I gotta take a dump."

Danny DeVito introduces this latest trailer for Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax**, from Illumination animation, and as Danger previously noted, it’s a little odd to hear Frank Reynold’s voice coming out of a hairy orange tree creature. Like at any moment he might start talking about keeping breakfast sausages in his shirt pocket, or get a fake wheelchair for free lap dances. **Sidenote: Isn’t it a little sacrilegious to call something “Dr. Seuss’s” The Lorax or “Bram Stoker’s” Dracula, now that they’re dead and can’t control what kind of crappy movies you make in their names?

Anyway, we got a little off track there, but this looks like exactly what kind of movie those geniuses at Fox News were complaining about. It’s set in a world where all the trees are gone, and it’s up to one dude to find out where they went and how to get them back. Presumably so that everyone can get rid of their cars and quit their jobs and live happily ever after in some queer Avatar world. You know, typical liberal propaganda, all set to Vampire Weekend and their pinko yacht rock. Why don’t we ever make a movie about the brave loggers who risk their lives to cut down the trees for the wood to make the guitars for you to sing your dumb hippie songs on, huh? Or the planks to make the footbridges for you to walk across to get to the abortion clinic? Riddle me that one, Howard Zinn.

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Yahoo just dropped the new trailer for Paramount’s Rango, starring Johnny Depp as a chameleon in a desert.  That alone will probably be enough to qualify it for next year’s Golden Globe best picture (“Amazing acting! Johnny Depp is literally a chameleon!” -Pete Hammond). The surprising thing is that it actually looks… decent?  I’m notoriously apathetic when it comes to non-Pixar animation, but between the Hunter Thompson references in the teaser and the cast of animals wearing human clothes, this one has my number.  Aren’t animals in human clothes the whole point of kids’ movies?  Why have we strayed from that?

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Just two days after we saw the first poster, Hop, featuring the voice of Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny, now has a teaser trailer.  He doesn’t speak in it, leaving us to wonder if the Easter Bunny will have Russell Brand’s slightly grating English accent.  I would assume yes, since the bunny plays Blur’s “Song 2,” which is so synonymous with all things British that Micheal Bisping uses it as his UFC walk up song. (Also, hiring Russell Brand to voice a character who isn’t British would be like hiring Gilbert Gottfried to voice one who doesn’t yell).  One thing’s for certain, he’s super cool!  GRRR, SHORT-SLEEVE SHIRTS OVER LONG-SLEEVE SHIRTS, IN YOUR FACE GRANDPA!!!  In all seriousness though, the fact that he’s not wearing sunglasses could go down in history as the most surpising show of restraint in Hollywood history.

Below, Yogi Bear shakes his ass to hip hop.

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I didn’t really mind when they gave the creepy, CGI/live-action treatment to Garfield, Alvin & the Chipmunks, Yogi Bear, or especially Marmaduke, because let’s face it, Marmaduke was always lame (AND I DON’T CARE WHO I PISS OFF BY SAYING IT!).  But one of my few loves in this world is old Mel Blanc cartoons.  They were 30 years old when I first saw them, and I feel like they still translate, especially the ones about “the Japs” (whatever those are!).  But then, I guess I wouldn’t be a blogger if I wasn’t whining about someone crapping on my over-idealized childhood.

Warner Bros has hired Elf scribe David Berenbaum to write Bugs Bunny, a live action/CG feature film designed to revive one of the studio’s most iconic intellectual properties. While the rabbit was toned down in later Looney Tunes incarnations, the 1940 Tex Avery creation was the centerpiece for smart, topical, sophisticated and sometimes subversive cartoon shorts, marked by the vocal versatility of Mel Blanc, who also voiced Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig and others. Berenbaum’s repped by WME. [Deadline]

Jeff Foxworthy as Yosemite Sam or GTFO.  At the same time, I did enjoy Elf.  If they could make this a movie about Will Ferrell in a bunny costume instead of a creepy CGI rabbit, I might be onboard.  But let’s face it, it’s probably going to be more poop eating and implied anal rape.  Kids love that, according to Hollywood.

(Werner Herzog: “Oont ven I look eento za eyes uff za Yogi Beah, I see nuzzink.  Only za cold eendeeference uff CGI.”)

Remember when I told you about the computer-animated Yogi Bear movie?  You probably repressed the memory like the time your Little League coach got you fitted for a jock strap, but in case you needed a reminder that it was still happening, today they released the official poster.  The film is directed by Journey to the Center of the Earth‘s Eric Brevig, starring Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake as Yogi and Boo Boo, plus Anna Faris and Christine Taylor.  Somewhere, Brendan Fraser stared morosely at his silent phone, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Also, I just noticed this: what’s up with the cylindrical hole in that pie?  Did they invite Jason Biggs to the pick a nick?

[via YahooMovies]