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Dark Knight Rises gets PG-13 Rating |Film Drunk|

‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘The Night Lands’ |Warming Glow|

Twelve Minutes From ‘Lockout’ Is Like Snake Plissken In Space |Gamma Squad|

The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Miami Marlins |With Leather|

The Best Of ‘Community’s’ #Pillows And Blankets |UPROXX|

Respecting The Hustle Of Kevin Hart |Smoking Section|

Worked out much better for the dog. |AnimalsBeingDicks|

This Is What Kip From “Napoleon Dynamite” Looks Like Now |Buzzfeed|

21 Hilarious Textbook FAILS |HuffPost Comedy|

Jennifer Love Hewitt: ‘It’s sexier not to show everything’. |Fark|

The 40 funniest adult film actor names of all time. |WorldWideInterweb|

Creepy NSFW ‘Hey Arnold!’ Trailer Will Blow Your Mind |The FW|

Mindhole Blowers: 20 Facts About Stripes That Might Make You Want to Sing “Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Do” |Pajiba|

Five Moments In Video Games That Can Make Grown Men Cry |Unreality|

Would You Get on This Bus That Cures Hangovers? |Brobible|

Miley Cyrus and Her Squirrel Biskit |TheSuperficial|

The Bronx Zoo Was Hella Racist |Mentalfloss|

Jason Biggs is such a prankster |Videogum|

The Golden Age of Hip Hop |TheDailyWhat|

007 Has Crushed A Lot Of Ass |ScreenJunkies|

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"Remember when I said I'd kill you last, AIDS? I lied."

Alex is a 9-year old Tanzania kid with a clean bill of health and a hunger for good, old American movie violence. He’s the face of a new campaign from Mama Hope to show ignorant Westerners like me that Africa isn’t just starvation and AIDS and genocide. It’s a place of greater hope and treasures like smart children, unique cultures and Charlize Theron. When Alex learned that the Mama Hope people were from California he busted into a 15-minute retelling of the movie Commando, which is my second favorite movie about kidnapping and revenge behind Hotel For Dogs.

While Alex is incredibly cool and definitely way better than Lights Camera Jackson, I think we should send movies like Commando to evil dictators and genocidal leaders in Africa with notes that read: “He’s coming for you.” And then we send Arnold Schwarzenegger over as a diplomat, oblivious to the fact that we sent his movie over, and watch them all freak out. Boom, world peace, son.

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This is a bootleg of the Ice Age 3 (Dawn of the Dinosaurs) teaser that’s currently playing before Horton Hears a Who.  The video comes from RuTube, which, believe it or not, is actually a Godless commie Russkie frenemy version of YouTube. See today’s featured video, after the jump.

Anyway, it looks like it was filmed by Abe Zapruder’s retarded grandson using a butt cam, but it does answer the question of what the fuck dinosaurs are doing in a movie about the ice age.  They live in a mystical land underground – that explains it!  Still doesn’t explain the cows with giant udders and male voices in Barnyard though.  God that pisses me off.

But hold on, I’m not done with this Dawn of the Dinosaurs thing.  Even if we accept that dinosaurs still exist in an underground lair somewhere during the ice age, that still begs the question of why it’s called Dawn of the Dinosaurs.  Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to call it Last of the Dinosaurs, or Dinosaurs of the Underground, or Underworld: Dinosaur, or Holy Fuck, There are Still Some Fucking Dinosaurs, I Thought They Died Like a Million Years Ago But I Found Some Underground and It Was Fucking Awesome?  Is anyone still listening to me?