It’s your lucky day, folks. Not only is it Friday, but I’ve got the first trailer for the Fred Figglehorn movie!  You can watch it above, or a higher-res version on Nickelodeon’s crappy player here.  The Fred phenomenon is strange and terrifying for anyone over the age of 12, so I’ll leave the synopsis to one of his fans:

Here is the official Fred the Movie trailer!!!!!!! Hope u like it :p Cant believe pixie lott is Judy and Sam from iCarly is Bertha lol. The plot is Judy moves away, and Fred goes to look for her, but he finds out that she only moved up the block XD you’ll be happy to know that his voice isn’t as squeaky so thats ok :)

Another user adds:

“mmmmm…… i’m gonna smell like green apples”! haha lmao

Lmao indeed.  Look, nothing against this kid, because as annoying as he is, he’s basically just a little kid whose obnoxiousness littler kids find entertaining, for whatever reason.  But if you take one thing away from this, it should be this: take a look around you. Do you hate your job?  I know I sure did. But as crappy as your job might be, at least you’re not the poor bastards who probably worked 15 hour days watching this kid do 12 takes of his grating shtick to help some suit at Nickelodeon cash in on this Fred thing.  Back when I was working as a grip and production assistant, I once worked on a commercial for this Indian casino.  The commercial involved an old lady winning a slot machine jackpot (after all, consider the target audience here), and I swear to God, I watched this old lady scream like she was having an orgasm probably 200 times in a row.  At the time I was thinking that starring in bukkakke porn would be less embarrassing than that lady’s job.  Today, I’m trying to imagine what it’d be like to replace that old lady orgasming with Fred f*cking Figglehorn, and then instead of the three days I worked on that commercial, four or six or eight weeks.  Now you have an idea of what the crew of Fred must’ve experienced.  Where’s Mike Rowe’s profile on these guys?  I hope you’re feeling cheered up right now, because even if you’re cleaning bed pans, I guarantee you your job is better than that.

As promised this morning when I posted the poster, here’s the full trailer for Rango, from Paramount Pictures, starring the voice of Johnny Depp.  Normally I couldn’t care less about the dumb movies your annoying wiener kids drag you to, but I really like the look of the animation in this one.  Plus I enjoy it when every character has an over-the-top Mexican accent. Reminds me of junior high.

The trailer immediately made me think of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but I wondered if I was making too much of it — is there really a connection beyond Johnny Depp in a Hawaiian shirt in the desert? Then I watched it again and I caught the almost subliminal shot (it’s only a few frames) in which the filmmaker’s clearly reference it themselves.

Anyway, I love a good Hunter S. Thompson reference in a children’s film.

“Daddy, daddy, what’s Fear and Loathing?”

“Oh, it’s just a book about a guy who drives out to Las Vegas in search of the American Dream.”

“Does he find it?”

“Well, not really, but he’s awesome and does lots of drugs.”

Yahoo just released the teaser trailer for the animated family film Megamind, starring the voice of Will Ferrell, which you can watch under the cut.  You can tell it’s a Dreamworks movie because the main character makes the Dreamworks face like five times.  And much like their Dragon movie that used the music from True Romance, they’ve gone with another possibly inappropriate soundtrack for a kids’ movie, this time AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell.”  They never actually let it get to the chorus, but still, I think the danger would be moms hearing it, forgetting themselves, and flashing their tits at the screen, or dads lighting their seats on fire and screaming about sex, drugs, and groupie pussy.   Which is what my parents always did when AC/DC came on.

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Two new animated trailers hit Friday afternoon, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.  Above, we have Astro Boy, from, Imagi animation studios and the director of Flushed Away, which is basically what would happen if Iron Man and Bob’s Big Boy had a butt baby.

After the jump, we have Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, starring our old friend Scrat, which combines ice age mammals with dinosaurs, as part of Fox’s ongoing attempt to totally F up your your child’s conception of history.  The only real question here is what would make a better baby name: Scrat Palin or SoHo Scrat Wentz?

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Dwayne The Rock Johnson stars in Race to Witch Mountain, a sort of sequel to the 1975 movie Escape to Witch Mountain.  From the looks of it, The Rock and Brendan Fraser have the same agent.  Also, I think a really funny joke would have been:

“Take us to Witch Mountain!”
“Which mountain?”
“Yeah, Witch Mountain!”
“That’s what I’m trying to find out!”
“Witch Mountain, I want you to take us there!”
“How can I take you there if I don’t know which mountain it is?”

And then more of that for two hours.

[via Orlando Sentinel]