One of the shadiest things you can do as a journalist is ask someone their opinion about someone, then, when they answer candidly, take their answer out of context to make it sound like they’re starting a beef and manufacture a controversy around it.  That being said, controversy = pageviews, pageviews = money, and daddy’s feet = in need of a new pair of shoes. So…

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! (*flicks lights on and off, claps cats together*)

[CinemaBlend's Katey Rich, on interviewing James Marsh, director of 2008's Oscar-winning documentary Man on Wire, and this year's much-buzzed Project Nim.] I talked to Marsh in an excellent 20-minute conversation this afternoon.  Apparently as caught up in all the Sundance gossip as the rest of us, Marsh took some time– totally unprompted by me– to criticize the filmmaker for striking back against critics and audiences after so many years of success.

Here’s what Marsh said:

“You can’t try to control response to your film, nor should you. …Unless you’re Kevin Smith, I guess. Whole other story.

What’s his problem, anyway?  Why [does he have a chip on his shoulder]?  He’s had such a great run.  You know, he’s not Orson Welles.

And, I mean he gets his films made, he’s rich… he’s got money… Now he turns around and says suddenly, “I’m so hard done?”  What’s his f*cking problem?”

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"Hey, Kev, catch this Moon Pie!"

With all the hubbub over Kevin Smith’s Westboro Baptist counter protest, his Sundance auction that wasn’t really an auction, and his plan to self distribute his movie, this week in Kevin Smith has been a VERITABLE AVALANCHE of news I started reading then quickly lost interest in, then felt bad about for not caring, and then completely forgot a few minutes later while daydreaming about a stegosaurus.  But finally, BestWeekEver‘s Noah Garfinkel has dug up some  news about K-Smeezy that doesn’t require me reading 1200 words in 140 character chunks on Twitter.

Two nights ago, I ended up watching Kevin Smith: Too Fat For 40, a two hour lecture by the writer/director that is available to watch instantly on Netflix.

I imagined the talk would be long winded, but would probably also contain story or two that would be engaging enough to not bore me to the point of getting wound up and having to switch to something else. Perfect, right? No.

I ended up wide awake watching with rapt attention as I noticed unfolding before me what amounted to an accidental montage of a specific nervous tic. Below is a video that required me to watch Kevin Smith: Too Fat For 40 twice and then took me 7 hours to edit. It is a collection of every time Kevin Smith says “and sh*t” over the course of the two hour lecture. No clips have been repeated, and, in fact, some have not even been included.

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Ok, time for lunch orders. How many hot dogs do you want, Kevin?

It’s nothing new for Kevin Smith to be an outspoken lightning rod regarding his films or the film industry in general. Between his podcast, public appearances, interviews, Twitter, smoke signals, and skywriting, he’s gone out of his way to speak his mind about some of the things that annoy him about the process of making movies. So it’s really not that surprising that he’s making waves at Sundance with his words more than his movie, Red State.

To catch you up: Smith Tweeted something along the lines of “Hey you guys I’ma totally auction off this movie at Sundance.” A bunch of Hollywood execs were then all, “Hurr durr we liek buyin moviefilms. Ok see you soon bye.” Then Smith and the execs showed up in Utah, and the execs were like “Ok neat can we buy the moviefilm now? Now?” And then Kevin Smith was all, “Hold on, we’ll talk after I screen it.” The movie was screened and the Hollywood execs got their checkbooks out, but then Smith went on a rant about how the industry process sucked. The Hollywood execs sat there and were like, “Man this guy sure hates us. I can’t wait to work with him on his moviefilm.” But when it came time for the “auction,” Smith instead sold the film to himself for $20, and announced plans to self-distribute. Then the execs were all, “Why we no can buy moviefilm? I has a angersad,” and the journalists there to cover it were like, “You said auction that was not an auction. We hate your fat face, beardface.”

Then, to defend and explain himself, Kevin Smith took to Twitter and unleashed a 69 (haha, sex) Tweet manifesto, which some poor, poor person at Vulture compiled. I’ve posted it after the jump, and will attempt to break down its important points. I’ll do my best, but fair warning, I have horrific ADD.
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(Click through to see what Kevin Smith likes to eat. Picture by Dave Chen from /Film)

RECAPS AND EXCLUSIVE REPORTAGE FROM PARK CITY, UTAH!

THE STANDING IN LINE HERE IS INCREDIBLE!  Truly, you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced the line standing here.  The lines in Utah are so much cleaner, crisper, more refreshing than you’ll find in the city.  They move with a humbler, more hardworking (yet relaxed) vibe than you find in our go-go, dog-eat-dog city lines.  Everyone should try to make it out to Utah to stand in line once or twice a year, just to stay grounded.  If you’ve been on the fence about it, take it from me: do it.  You’ll be glad you did, I promise.

In the past few days, I’ve seen a few movies, drank too much, and hung out with a who’s who of stars from the movie blogosphere.  Past Frotcast guest Laremy of Film.com cornered me in the bar at the Yarrow hotel late one night, downing scotch after scotch and regaling me with stories of the many women he’d bedded and the countless men to whom he’d delivered severe beatings for “maddogging me in the line at the Quizno’s.”

He bought me a beer, then asked me if "I partied," while tapping his nostril. Whatever that means.

Later that night, I ran into awkward Josh Horowitz from MTV Movies Blog outside James Franco’s party at the Playboy Lounge, which neither of us could get into.  I knew if MTV’s cuddliest video blogger couldn’t get in, I had no shot.  What happened inside?  Did Miranda July and Emily Deschanel go butt to butt during a private screening of Dicknose in Paris?  I can’t confirm, but I’d say it’s pretty likely.

After that, Josh kept trying to convince me to help him light a drifter on fire. When I wouldn’t, he just walked away, fiddling with his butterfly knife and huffing spray paint from a paper bag.  Don’t let the sweaters fool you, that motherf*cker’s crazy.

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I’m still in Utah and I’m rushing off to stand in more lines (I’ve already stood in two, and it’s not even noon!) so I can’t give you the usual, thorough breakdown, but the basics are:

• Lindy West returns as guest frotter
• We discuss Jay-Z/Will Smith/Willow Smith’s Annie remake, in which, we postulate,  Kevin James will play “Fattie Warbucks,” or possibly even “Farty Warbutt.”  In fact, this might be our fartyest frotcast ever.
• Lindy gives us the lowdown on Green Hornet and The Dilemma
• We talk Lethal Weapon reboot, that moron who fell in the fountain, and the flatulent knife murderer
• Plus, we get to Westboro Baptist protesting Red State, which led naturally to that video of the Ugandan “He eat da poo poo!” minister, which, incredibly, neither Bret nor Ben had heard.

Listen, fart, and enjoy.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE. SUBSCRIBE ON ITUNES. NOW AVAILABLE ON ZUNE MARKETPLACE.