In Real Steel, from the director of Night at the Museum, Hugh Jackman trains robots to box, which is one of the more ridiculous premises I’ve ever heard.  But once I found out Kevin Durand was in it, my skepticism melted away like an icicle in my butt.  Anyway, this one’s about a robot who Hugh Jackman finds in a trash heap that always seems to win.  It’s basically the Seabiscuit of robot boxing movies.  Haha, I just typed that.  And then at the 1:07 mark, the robot punches the other robot in the crotch.  (*rings oversized bell*) NUT SHOT IN THE TRAILER!!! NUT SHOT IN THE TRAILER!!! (*runs around room with arms above head*)

Oh, and then Hugh Jackman shouts, “BRING IT!”

Silly Human. It. Has already been. Broughten. Bleep borp.

"Bleep bop boop (*fart*)"

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An artist's conception of what it might look like if these chicks almost touched boobs.

I can’t watch Glee, and it’s not because I’m homophobic — I still love Project Runway and have even watched Shear Genius once or twice — I just loathe campy musicals.  Nonetheless, for all you queerbaits who do love that show, Glee‘s Dianna Agron (left) has signed for I Am Number Four, the Michael Bay-produced, DJ Caruso-directed, aliens-in-high-school movie, based on the upcoming book by James Frey and Jobie Hughes. Here is the cast as it now stands, including (in bold) the two that I can report exclusively (TOLDJA TOLDJA TOLDJA! — sorry, bloggers are supposed to do that, right?).  And you know you can trust me because I reported the casting of the lead two weeks before the trades, and because my mom says when I sleep I have the face of an angel.

Alex Pettyfer – John/Number 4
Teresa Palmer – Number 6
Sharlto Copley – Henri (Number 4′s guardian and mentor who comes to Earth with him)
Kevin Durand – The Commander
Dianna Agron – Sarah (girl dating the head jock who falls for Number 4)
Callan McAuliffe – Sam (Number 4′s best friend)

From what I understand, John is the lead, the good alien who flees his planet, Lorien, from the Mogadorians, led by Kevin Durand’s character, who chased them to Earth.  I know, I know, it sounds pretty silly.  But then again, there were lots of aliens at my high school.  Mostly in my Spanish class.  And now that I think about it, they must’ve had super powers because it was almost as if they knew the material before it was even taught.

Legion, which won the coveted Trailer of the Year award right here on FilmDrunk, just released a new clip on Yahoo.  It features Kevin Durand as the angel Gabriel wielding a mace against Paul Bettany as Michael, who’s given up his wings in favor of a machine gun.  It’s okay, I guess.  It’s no old-lady-crawling-on-the-ceiling-like-a-crab, that’s for sure.  And I still haven’t come up with any reasons I should like Kevin Durand.

Also: isn’t a fight between two angels sort of anti-climactic?  What happens to the loser, he has to go down and party with AC/DC?  Be the muse for Old Dogs 2?  Doesn’t seem so bad.

IESB is reporting that the role of Silverfox in the upcoming Wolverine movie (initially rumored to be played by Maggie Q) has gone to Lynn Collins.  They also report that William Stryker (played by Brian Cox in X-2) will be Danny Huston.

They go on to mention an appearance by The Blob, whom a FilmDrunk tipster claims will be played by Kevin Durand.   The tipster says the Blob’s part will be small – on par with The Juggernaut in Brett Ratner’s rape of X-3, and that the script includes some other minor mutants such as Beak.   

Still no word on whether we’ll see Glass Man (he’s abnormally fragile!), Mr. Sensitive (be careful what you say!), or Chuck, the guy who can shapeshift into a hoagie sandwich (but not back again!).  Typical Hollywood move, focusing only on the glamorous aspects of mutantry. 

You know when you’re sucking your thumb after sex and you accidentally admit to something really embarrassing, like the time you crapped your pants at ballet camp?  This is kind of like that.

Yes, this is unsubstantiated rumor, and yes it is pretty out there, but this is being reported for two reasons: first, because I want people to be constantly talking about the WOLVERINE movie, since I think it will be great. And second, because for a couple of months when I was a kid, I was absolutely obsessed with Natalie Imbruglia. This was around the time that ‘Torn’ was playing every other minute on every single radio station, every day of the week. The word is that Ms. Imbruglia has auditioned and subsequently won a role in the upcoming WOLVERINE origin film.  [JoBlo]

Holy boner-filled sweatpants, Batman!  In other news, Nikki Reynolds totally had her bra strap hanging out at Starbuck’s the other day, I thought I was gonna hork!

ACTUAL NEWS UPDATE: A faithful FilmDrunkard and reputed inside source [hehe] claims Kevin Durand from 3:10 to Yuma will be playing The Blob. Set faces to stunned.