Sack up, Bros! WB just greenlit an Entourage movie!

Written by Vince Mancini / 01.30.13

Bros, I feel like I’ve been dreaming about this day ever since Andrea Fingerblast ski-poled Flapjacks and me after the Chi O slave auction in the back of Steve L’s mom’s beamer on the way to pledge retreat, and now it’s finally here: Entourage is getting a movie. It’s a pretty personal story for me. I still remember I was wearing the limited edition And 1 kicks Turtle designed the day I found out we hazed Spinach to death after Kamikaze. I’m pretty emotional right now. RIP, Spinach.

From Deadline:

Warner Bros has tonight given the green light on a movie version of Entourage. The film will be directed by series creator Doug Ellin, who wrote the screenplay and who exec produced the series with Mark Wahlberg and Stephen Levinson. Deals are starting to be made with Adrian Grenier, who played Chase, Kevin Connolly, who played his manager Eric “E” Murphy, Kevin Dillon, who played the actor’s brother Johnny Drama, Jerry Ferrara, who played their entrepreneurial driver Turtle, and Jeremy Piven,

That’s about as far as the studio has gotten at this point, and there is no start date. I for one loved the series ending, in which Ari finally gave up his career and pledged his devotion to his long suffering gorgeous wife (Perry Reeves), only to get a last minute phone call offering him his dream job of running a film studio, knowing he’ll lose her if he says yes. Love to see how Ari negotiates himself out of that hell. Did I mention that I watched that show from start to finish, and miss it terribly?

While some naysayers might start in that an HBO transfer to film has no shot, the first Sex And The City did pretty well. For me, I can only think of one word to describe this development. Victory!!!!

See, bros? I’m glad Mike Fleming got a job at Deadline, but this is why he didn’t get a bid and Underpants Tony did. I mean we all know there’s a difference between being a down-ass bro and being a lurky creepenstein who makes all the clam slam shut. As Fat Dave my grand big always said, we need pledges, not stalkers – no homo. Anyway, I was all ready to take a grandma’s funnel to the dome after hearing this news like Stinkeye before he got tazed by the cops after Paddy’s, but then my bro Burnsy was all, “slow down, bro: are we sure this is really a good thing?”

At first I thought Burnsy was just being a f*g, but then it really got me to thinking, and he was holding the hookah so I thought we should hear him out:

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Good news, Bros! The script for the Entourage movie is almost finished!

Written by Vince Mancini / 09.12.12

BROS! This is bigger news than the time Taint and Biscuit almost threw down over Fingerbang Katie at the Phi Delt slave auction! Call up Dozer, Chopsticks, Manson, Steve, Black Steve, and Assf*ck Rich and get them off Dawn Patrol, STAT! Have Mooseknuckle drive his mom’s Benz if you have to, this is important! Start making flyers now, if we don’t blow this up huge, Nationals is going to be PISSED! Spinach didn’t get hazed to death last fall for you to act like bitches!

Entourage creator Doug Ellin is on page 110 of his screenplay and “gonna finish by Sunday (I pray)”, he emails me. Ellin notes that no one wants to see the movie greenlighted by HBO more than the series’ WME packaging agent Ari Emanuel (the prototype for Gold) and executive producers Mark Wahlberg and Steven Levinson. Ellin says that Wahlberg keeps promising “to kill me if I don’t write faster. Every time I see him, Mark says, ‘I’ve made 5 movies this year. Get going!”

He says his script starts about 6 months after the TV series leaves off. “There are interesting developments about Ari as a studio head, and that’s still the first page for me. But foremost is the friendship between the guys who are still hanging out and going to fun parties [OH THANK GOD, I WAS SO WORRIED -Ed.], and it continues with the same characters.” Ellin has kept in touch with all the key castmembers:  Jeremy Piven (“Ari”), Adrian Grenier (“Vince”), Kevin Dillon (“Drama”), and especially Kevin Connolly (“E”) and Jerry Ferrara (Turtle”) who are two of Ellin’s closest friends [possible explanation for how those two charisma vacuums got their jobs in the first place?]. Those Entourage actors have been getting other gigs while HBO has been paying Ellin for the script. [Gigs such as "token white guy in Steve Harvey movie," and "least famous person in ensemble rom-com."]

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Cars 2 on track to become Pixar’s first Rotten film

Written by Vince Mancini / 06.24.11

Cars 2 will almost certainly become Pixar’s first “Rotten” film according to the Tomatometer. Who could’ve imagined a film with Dreamworks Face in every poster starring Larry the Cable Guy as the voice of a tow truck wouldn’t be a critical darling? Why, that’d be like trying to predict whether Larry the Cable Guy will wear sleeves. |RottenTomatoes|

Cars 2 and Bad Teacher are the movies that are opening this weekend. I don’t have time to do a Weekend Movie Guide, I’m sorry. In fairness, I did have the Bad Teacher writers on the Frotcast. |Yahoo|

Men in Black 3 will cost $215 million (that’s NET PRODUCTION BUDGET, supposedly). Money well spent, I’m sure. Can’t wait for the Wild Wild West reboot. |TheWrap|

King of Kong director Seth Gordon remaking War Games. Notice I was nice and didn’t call him “Four Christmases director Seth Gordon.” I’ll tell you how I feel about this idea when we find out whether his newest film, Horrible Bosses, is any good. So far, it’s… not looking good (though I do love Colin Farrell). Make Billy Mitchell the villain in all movies from now on.  The man is a nefarious hot sauce magnate. That sh*t will never, ever get old. |Deadline|

E from Entourage wants to direct a Kimbo Slice biopic. Kimbo would play himself (Note: this is never going to happen). No joke, I pitched a Kimbo Slice profile five years ago for a job I didn’t get.  That was before I realized people wanted to be told stories they’ve already heard. It’s like the inner me, was the enemy. The INNER me, was the ENERmy.  The INNER me. Was the ENNERMY.  But good luck to Kevin Connolly as a director. The fact that he’s completely unlikable as an actor is a big part of the reason Entourage isn’t very good. |TheWrap|

Here’s KRS-One reviewing Bad Teacher:

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