There was really no reason to watch last night’s Golden Globes other than to see what Ricky Gervais was going to do, and the man did not disappoint. He was ballsy, but more importantly, he was funny. He began the night ripping on The Tourist and the Hollywood Foreign Press (the elephants in the room, let’s face it), and proceeded to actually be funny every time he was onstage, making reference to John Travolta being closeted (“‘I Love You Phillip Morris’ — two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay – which is the exact opposite of some famous Scientologists … probably.”) and introducing Bruce Willis as “Ashton Kutcher’s dad.”
Ricky Gervais did most of the obvious jokes (Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Etc.), but he executed them brilliantly. To host this kind of Hollywood circle jerk without coming off as a massive tool would be a feat; to actually be funny, entertaining, and honest was nothing short of a miracle. A gay, scientology miracle. (pic via 
Of course, there’s a reason people in Hollywood are famous for being thin-skinned pussies, and the reason is that Hollywood people are thin-skinned pussies. Actually, that’s not quite true. Most of the stars seemed to understand the way jokes work (especially Christian Bale). It seems to be the media that’s largely responsible for misinterpreting playful ball-busting for conflict (or deliberately stoking controversy). How say you, O Great Greek Twat Chorus?
WashingtonPost: “Are we at war with England? If not, then why have we been subjected to two years of Gervais hosting the Golden Globe Awards, witnessing a growing hostility between the British comedian and a resentful audience of celebs?” [This writer should be sentenced to 30 hours of Gervais-free Globe coverage]
NYTimes: “It’s so rare for presenters to be at open war with their host, and at times it almost looked as if Mr. Gervais and Mr. Bale were intent on bringing to Hollywood some of the incivility and extremism that veins political discourse. Theirs was certainly the most conspicuous wisp of conflict of the night, and that is unusual.” [Oh NY Times, you win the Golden Globe for Most New York Timesyest]. “Trashing the association that feeds you, on the other hand, is bad form, or bad politics.” [Not true. To not acknowledge that the HFPA is a joke would just be dishonest. Also, who gets fed by an association?]
LATimes: Headline: ‘Golden Globes: Host Ricky Gervais was just too nasty.’ The host pulled no punches, but he should have knocked himself out. [What does that even mean? Is this a Fighter review?] The opposite of dull and deferential is not snotty and abusive. [Likewise, the opposite of dull and uninformed is not humorless and c*nty.]
FoxNews: Ricky Gervais draws more gasps than grins at the Golden Globes. [But neither from me, because I had a big wiener in my mouth!]
BaltimoreSun: The normally clever-to-brilliant Ricky Gervais resorted to nonstop insult comedy as “the host” of the Golden Globes last night. He appeared to be auditioning for a dinner-theater version of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” His main game was “Get the Guest.”
When he wasn’t putting down easy targets like Charlie Sheen or joking about the vanity of “Sex and the City” stars and the age of Cher, his staggeringly lame fallback position was to list the lesser credits of A-listers like Bruce Willis.
You’re right, that was staggeringly lame! Maybe you should write his jokes next year, Mr. Guy-who-thinks-Who’s-Afraid-of-Virginia-Woolf-references are timely! Anyway, I’m done popping these queef balloons, it’s starting to stink in here. Here’s a list of the winners:
