Mark Hamill might be in Star Wars VII or something (zzzzz…)

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.20.13

The internet breathlessly reported on anything even tangentially Star Wars-related even before Disney started planning additional movies, so it’s not surprising that the rumor mill is working overtime now. All you have to do is ask an actor a hypothetical about whether they’d do a new Star Wars movie, they say “Sure, I’d do it, I like money,” and BOOM, you’ve got your CARRIE FISHER MIGHT BE IN STAR WARS headline. Today’s news outlet + actor combo is Mark Hamill and Entertainment Tonight. Hamill says he’s actually been meeting with screenwriter Michael Arndt, so at least this one isn’t totally based on nothing. But almost.

First off, will he appear in Star Wars VII? “They’re talking to us,” he reveals. “George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we’d be interested. He did say that if we didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t cast another actor in our parts – they would write us out. … I can tell you right away that we haven’t signed any contracts. We’re in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed — on their end, not mine. They’re more busy than I am.”

In terms of where we’ll pick up with Luke Skywalker in Star Wars VII, “I’m assuming, because I haven’t talked to the writers, that these movies would be about our offspring — like my character would be sort of in the Obi-Wan range [as] an influential character. … When I found out [while making the original trilogy] that ultimate good news/bad news joke – the good news is there’s a real attractive, hot girl in the universe; the bad news is she’s your sister – I thought, ‘Well, I’m going to wind up like Sir Alec [Guinness]. I’m going to be a lonely old hermit living out in some kind of desert igloo with a couple of robots.’”

The key word here being “assuming.” They’ve had a meeting. That’s the takeaway from this. Get excited if you must. It’s weird to me that people take ownership of Star Wars as something personal to them when it’s about as unique as Ford or Pepsi at this point. Ooh, you like Star Wars too?! Let’s start a f*cking ‘zine! But Disney has always had a weird mastery of that kind of fandom too, so they’re perfect for each other. Call me Luke Skywanker.

All I know about Mark Hamill is that Jason Dove (tonight’s Frotcast guest, incidentally) claims to have a friend who had to break up with his girlfriend because she hooked up with Mark Hamill at a sci-fi convention, and that story will never get old for me. Jedis don’t even have to use the force, they can just say “Hi, I’m Luke Skywalker.”

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RUMOR: Disney is making a stand-alone Star Wars movie about Yoda

Written by Vince Mancini / 02.05.13

I get the dismissive wanks in my wrist every time I report one of these Star Wars or superhero rumors, but God help us, everyone on the internet is obsessed with this stuff. Unless the revolution is fought with bacon and misplaced nostalgia, we’re all f*cked. Anyway, we already know that Disney bought LucasFilm and hired JJ Abrams to direct Star Wars VII. Now, Harry Knowles says Disney will also be making “stand-alone” Star Wars movies, starting with one about Yoda. Obnoxious, I’m sure a whole movie of that won’t be.

But really, what’s Disney going to be doing with these STAND ALONE films…
Well, to start with they’re going to focus on established characters and do solo films, no, not necessarily Han Solo films, but well, f*ck it…   The first Stand Alone film is going to center upon YODA.  At this stage specifics are sparse, but Kathleen Kennedy is putting together a STAR WARS slate…  I’m wildly curious for more details on the YODA film – would this be a young or old YODA tale?
Knowing that Lucasfilm is doing a series of stand alone character features…  I wonder if Joe Johnston has pitched Kennedy his stand alone BOBA FETT film he was talking about after the release of Captain America.   Hmmmmm…   Now, let’s chase after YODA details…  Where’s FRANK OZ?  Giggle.  Gotta love chasing STAR WARS stories!  Oh – and I’ve also heard tale of a JABBA story that Lucas has floated to some of his buddies.  But word is YODA is first. [AICN]

George Lucas has “buddies?” I’m assuming that means his stuffed animals. Anyway, it’s hard to say how preliminary the talk is at this point. Does anyone care about a Yoda movie? Hypothetically speaking? Other than an eager Andy Serkis, hopefully fitting himself with pointy ears in preparation? See, this is my problem with the Star Wars phenomenon in a nutshell. I like the first three movies fine, but Disney buying Lucasfilm was sort of like Coke buying A&W root beer. Will they make new root beer?? I mean, I guess. Put it this way, I’ve seen Pulp Fiction countless times and would’ve called it my favorite movie for many years, but if you told me Miramax was making a stand-alone movie about Butch the boxer, I imagine my reaction would be something along the lines of “Huh? Why?”

I’ll be interested in this only if they cast Luis Guzman as Yoda’s sidekick, and he starts all of his lines with “Mira, Joda!” Obi Juan Kenobi, say.

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VIDEO: George Lucas talks Star Wars and Disney

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.30.12

When one mega-corporation acquires another supercorporation, we all already know the reason: because they could afford it. But for some reason, we always have to play this game where they send out representatives of the companies to give their best man speeches about all the reasons why these two faceless entities should join in holy matrimony and we pretend like we care. We know already. They both think they’re going to make money on the deal. They’re two lego pieces that fit together. Fine. But it’s always fun to see just how far they’ll go to sell us this sh*t.

Anyway, freshly-minted Lucasfilms President and Star Wars brand manager Kathleen Kennedy sat down with George Lucas to discuss the merger. Assorted quotes:

LUCAS: “Obviously, I’ve been talking about retiring for some years now…”

LUCAS: “I really wanted to put the company somewhere, in a large entity, that would protect it.”

Ooh, you mean, like… AN EMPIRE?

LUCAS: “There’s lots and lots of opportunity at Disney that we wouldn’t have at any other studio.”

LUCAS: “When I made Star Wars many years ago, everybody in Hollywood said ‘Well this is a movie Disney should’ve made.’”

KENNEDY: “Disney defines family entertainment, and in many ways, it’s the best possible company to take Star Wars into the future.”

LUCAS: “I’ve always said I wasn’t going to do more, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t turn it over to Kathy to do more. I have story treatments of [Episodes] seven, eight, and nine…”

OH GOD NO, SOMEBODY BURN THEM.

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GIRL, BRETT RATNER KNOWS IT’S TRUE

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.22.09

It’s hard to know how much stock to put in this story, since I’ve never heard of the source and they don’t give any hints as to how they got the info.  In any case, they say “negotiations are under way” to bring Brett Ratner on to direct a Milli Vanilli biopic for Universal.

The move would reunite Ratner and his Rush Hour cohort, writer Jeff Nathanson [who had originally been named as director], who penned the screenplay for the film, which is being produced by frequent Steven Spielberg collaborator Kathleen Kennedy with executive producer and Fab Morvan manager Kim Marlowe. [HitsDailyDouble]

True or not, it would be a perfect match: a fake director doing a movie about a fake band.  Maybe Bai Ling could be creative consultant.

Also:  It figures that manager Frank Farian originally discovered these guys dancing in a Berlin club. Only in Germany could dancing like this be good enough to stand out.  It’s nice. All this time I thought only white people had to resort to pantomiming the lyrics.  (*makes mountain over head*) Aiiin’t nooo mountaiin hiiiigh enooough…
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