I was hoping to get to this before your mom sends it to you as an email attachment, but Jennifer’s Body just released a bunch of new clips including MEGAN FOX AND AMANDA SEYFRIED’S LESBIAN KISS*.  It doesn’t have MEGAN FOX NAKED or a NIPPLE SLIP MEGAN FOX SCISSORING AN ASIAN STUMP PORN WHORE UPSKIRT CAM, but I guess it’s still pretty newsworthy.  (I realize I already posted the kiss part, but this time the scene is in context.  You know, because that’s important.)  She actually does pretty well in these, acting-wise.  I’m not convinced that she isn’t the terrible actress we all came to know and love in Transformers, but she seems like a good fit for Diablo Cody’s campykitschycutesy dialog.  I gather the plot is that some mean boys went “all Benihana on her ass” and left her for dead and now she’s out for revenge. I guess these slasher movies always have to have some crazy revenge motive. Does it really matter? Just once I’d like to see one where the final scene is, “Huh, I never thought about why I did it. When it comes down to it, I guess I’m just kind of a c’nt.”

*I admit most of my experience with lesbians involves porn and walking the dog in Park Slope, but I always thought a “lesbian kiss” involved tongue.  And/or fisting.

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Megan Fox complained about not getting to show much of her acting range in Transformers, in which she mainly had to run from stuff and make her tits bounce up and down.  This time around, in Jennifer’s Body, she gets to make her tits bounce up and down AND deliver totally fetch Diablo Cody dialog like:

“You need a mani bad.  You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.”

“It smells like Thai food in here. Have you guys been f-cking?”

And, “Nice hardware, Ace.”

Because Ace is the name of a Hardware Store, you see.  Anyway, I know a lot of people hate Diablo Cody and her deliberately kitschy dialog, but cutesy dialog is the difference between a movie like this that works and one that doesn’t.  Plus, it’s got the criminally underrated Adam Brody.  All I’m saying is, if you want to hate Diablo Cody, don’t do it because of her writing, do it because she’s still calling herself “Diablo.”  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go buff my situation. (*bench presses Chinese chick*)

[via ShocktillYouDrop]

Jennifer’s Body, written by Juno‘s Diablo Cody and set to star Tranformers‘ Megan Fox, has found a director – Karen Kusama.

Kusama previously wrote and directed Girlfight (not as sexy as it sounds, but supposedly pretty good), and directed Aeon Flux.  Her IMDB page says she was born in Brooklyn, but I’d like to think she pronounces it “Diabro”.  That’s not racist, is it?  Hehe, well that’s because my kooky roomate, TimTam the Incorrible Bigot pushed me out of the way just so he could type that. Darn you, TimTam, that wasn’t even very funny!

Megan Fox will play a cheerleader in a sleepy town whose perfect life goes haywire when she becomes possessed and begins killing the young men in town who lust after her. Hard C [Ed. Note: !!] partners Jason Reitman and Dan Dubiecki will produce with Mason Novick. Reitman directed the Cody-scripted Juno for Atomic’s sister company Fox Searchlight. [ComingSoon]

MTV has a bit more info:

Described as a “Heathers”-type dark comedy, it tells the story of a seemingly-perfect cheerleader whose life is thrown into disarray when she gets possessed by a demon [more like my semen AHAHAAHAHAHA! Cuz it rhymes, get it?  ...Sorry, too much coffee] begins eating boys in her small Minnesota town, then faces off against her best friend and the Satan-worshipping band that made her evil.

In other news, Megan Fox’s last name don’t lie, am I right fellas?  Boosh. *fist pound*