With Iron Man 3 opening to $175 million over the weekend, the summer movie season has officially begun (officially according to me). Around these parts, we like to handicap the winners like Jeff Gillooly in our Fantasy Summer Box Office game. But there’s no reason for you to sit on the sidelines like a casual duh-bserver, writing a summer movie is easy! And today, Justin Halpern, the best-selling author of I Suck at Girls and Shit My Dad Says, is going to tell you how.

Every summer, the exact same types of movies come out.  So in the interest of helping you all become super successful screenwriters and directors, I decided to go ahead and break down the four types of summer movies, so that you can go ahead and make your own.

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This week on the Frotcast, we bring on Justin Halpern, who just got tapped to make an I Suck At Girls pilot for Fox, based on his book. Justin shares some stories of his days working as a PA for Tarantino’s A Band Apart productions, including one about a leopard-print dice cup and Samuel L. Jackson, and we both share PA stories. In addition, we talk Manti Te’o, discuss Killer Joe (which Brendan and Bret finally saw), and argue Oliver Stone vs. Brian DePalma. Enjoy, and check out Halpern’s new NBA podcast with Paul Shirley.

UPCOMING SHOWS: I’ll be doing comedy at Milk Bar (with Leslie Small, Eric Berry, Maronzio Vance) on January 29th as part of SF Sketchfest (Get cho tickets here), and The Hour of Power February 27th at the Hollywood Improv with Maria Bamford and Paul Scheer (Tickets here).

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Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Justin Halpern on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

Look, we’ve all been there: you’re sitting there watching a mediocre movie, let’s say Spider-Man 3, and on screen, emo Peter Parker is in the midst of shoving Mary Jane down on the floor. The theater is respectfully silent, until a drunk dude in the back says, “Awww, sh*t,” and the entire theater explodes in laughter. Yes, that was something I witnessed, and it was instances such as these, when the audience became the show, that prompted me to ask some of my favorite writers and comedians to share their stories of times when the theater where they were watching a film became far more entertaining than the film itself.

This week’s panel includes some of your old Uproxx pals, as well as Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker from Sh*t My Dad Says/I Suck At Girls/Cougar Town, XOJane Columnist and Twitter’s BoobsRadley Julieanne Smolinski, comedian Jamie Lee, who was just on Conan a few months back, So Close to You author Rachel Carter, and my favorite San Francisco comedians and former Frotcast guests, Alison Stevenson and Leslie Small. Don’t blame any of them for the cutesy chapter headings though, I wrote those. Enjoy!

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Hey, you guys. So I wrote this thing. It’s kind of about ostriches, and a little about Germans, but it’s also a little bit about restaurants, and also a little bit about life. It’s not about movies, so I didn’t feel quite right posting it here, so I posted it over at this website Justin Halpern and Jesse Kubanet run. But then, I guess this sort of counts as posting it here. Look, I’ll be honest, I don’t really understand this whole internet thing yet. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, feel free to read it here.

[TheseFriesAreGood]

Apparently this is “the penis of an ostrich before mating.” Thanks, Shutterstock.

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Justin Halpern, who just sold his newest book to Fox for a sitcom, joins us this week on The Frotcast to deliver a segment on The Same Plots Pitched in Every Sitcom Writer’s Room, and a lengthy discussion of which celebrities he farted on during his days as a Hollywood waiter. There’s some NON-SPOILERY discussion of The Master, and we get an impromptu visit from Interrupting David Lee Roth. Other topics include buttchugging, Nancy Grace’s hashtag mastery, the zulu who wants to beat me up over a joke I may or may not have told, a local news story about squirrels, Lil’ Wayne’s delightful deposition, and our least favorite screaming sports talking heads. Listen, love, laugh, share, and come to the Live Show in Chicago, Presented by Tall Tale Productions.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Justin on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Follow Laremy on Twitter. Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Fan us on Facebook.

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