Director George Miller flew into town this weekend to oversee auditions for his upcoming turd Justice League of America, which will find out whether Hollywood can make a comic book movie worse than Daredevil or Catwoman.

With no word on exactly who was auditioning for what, many fine young actors tried out for roles that will make them a household name/national joke/give them something to sign at Comic Con 10 years from now.

On the roll call are Adam Brody (Fox’s "The O.C."), Joseph Cross ("Running With Scissors"), D.J. Cotrona ("Windfall"), Mary Elizabeth Winstead ("Grindhouse") [pictured], Michael Angarano ("Sky High"), Teresa Palmer ("Wolf Creek"), Max Thieriot ("Jumper") and rapper Common.  The cast of NBC’s "Friday Night Lights" is well-represented as well, with Minka Kelly, Adrianne Palicki and Scott Porter also among those testing for parts.  [Hollywood Reporter]

The only names I recognize are Adam Brody, who had the funniest scene in Thank You for Smoking, and Common, who’s in American Gangster.  I’m assuming they’re just doing someone a favor.  If Entourage has taught me anything, it’s that showbiz is all about people trading favors and driving around in fresh wheelz.

Meanwhile, I auditioned for World’s Strongest Kegel Muscles, a new reality show on Fox.  Right now it’s just me and Frank Stallone.  Wish me luck! 

After reports earlier this week about WB head Jeff Rubinov banning any movie with a female lead, Rubinov is of course in full denial mode.  During one of his denials, he apparently broached the subject of a Wonder Woman movie. 

[Rubinov] has been saying he would only make Wonder Woman … as a spin-off of Justice League. But his proviso is that Justice League, about four superheroes including Wonder Woman, would have to do really, really boffo to justify having a female as the main star of a spin-off pic. [DHD via Cinematical]

Inspired by Rubinov, I promise to eat a cat turd if Fred Durst goes a week without ranch dressing*.  See? It’s easy to make promises that have no consequences.  Saying you’ll do something if Justice League of America does really well is like saying that if they make another Terminator movie, you’ll put Vin Diesel in it.  Aw crap….

*or for $10

IESB has the latest news on the Justice League of America. I post it not because I’m eagerly awaiting the movie, but because Justice League will durst superhero movies once and for all.  With Magneto, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, and Batman movies all planned within a similar time frame, this will be the watershed WaterWorld moment for the superhero trend – an epic so stale and critically reviled that it forces superhero movies into hair-metal-like hibernation.  Justice League could be the Candlebox of superhero movies (it didunt mean to treat you oh so bad…).

Here’s the rundown:

Superman – A.k.a. Clark Kent, new reporter. The morally upstanding Man of Steel battles Batman and has more to worry about than kryptonite.
Wonder Woman – A.k.a. Diana of Amazonian princess. Revered by the other supers for her beauty and ass-kicking abilities.
The Martian Manhunter - A.k.a. J’onn J’onzz, detective. His power to read minds comes in handy as the villain engages in some nifty mind control.
Green Lantern – A.k.a. John Stewart, architect. Designed the Hall of Justice. His emerald power ring shoots beams of energy.
Batman – A.k.a. Bruce Wayne. The most human in the bunch is mistrustful of others, which leads to quite a few problems for the clan.
Flash – A.k.a. Barry Allen, cop. The most enthusiastic superhero, Flash is happy just to be included, but his ravenous appetite leads to trouble.
Aquaman – A.k.a. Arthur, the Atlantean King. Not a fan of humans, Aquaman is more interested in helping his fellow heroes than lending a hand to land dwellers. 

 Then again, the execs in charge will probably just conclude that this sucked because Wonder Woman had too prominent a position. Chicks, man. They really cootify a movie.  

It’s a sad fact of life that most beautiful women are dumber than a sock full of baby shit (which I carry, for protection). That’s why it’s such a pleasant surprise to hear today’s news that Jessica Biel has turned down an offer to play Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League of America debacle (JLA for nerds in the know).

News like this gives me hope, like the sound of a child’s laughter.  Who knows, maybe some day, beautiful women will be able to resist the charms of DJ’s and Club Promoters, Entourage will get cancelled, Joe Francis will get raped to death by polar bears, and Time Warner Cable will stop running ads for Time Warner Cable that can only be seen on Time Warner Cable, the only provider in my area (Seriously, are you mocking me?  What more do you fucking want from me?).

Yes, folks, it’s a brand new day.  Jessica Biel, where wings take dream.   

Variety is reporting that Jessica Biel is in talks to play Wonder Woman in George Miller’s upcoming Justice League of America turd. 

Potential deal marks the first piece of casting to emerge from the DC Comics-based ensemble project, which is expected to feature Superman, Batman, the Flash and Aquaman in addition to Wonder Woman.

Christ, Aquaman, really?  Well, the good news is that she’ll first be completing Powder Blue, with Forrest Whitaker, Patrick Swayze, and Ray Liotta; a movie for which her contract stipulates (heh, more like stiffulates) that she show her butt as well as front and side nipplage.  She looks like the kind of girl who could crush my penis like a pancake in her powerful buttox.  At least, that’s the challenge I’ll be presenting.  According to National Geographic, girls like a challenge.  

Fun Fact: The creator of Wonder Woman based the character on his wife and their mutual lover. He also invented the polygraph.  Sounds like he’s the superhero.