Thank God the writer’s strike is over, now we can go back to speculating about the Justice League of America movie.  Via IGN:

According to Moviehole.net, the film will now be "about Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and others of the Justice League of America, an organization made up of the world’s greatest superheroes must deal with the expulsion of Batman and the death of Superman at the hands of the monstrous Doomsday."

I can’t find the Moviehole story they’re quoting, but it also reports that JLA wouldn’t start filming until 2010 (I’ll say it again – it’s never happening). But okay, no batman and no superman.  Who’s this Green Arrow guy?

Dressed like Robin Hood, Green Arrow is an archer, who invents trick arrows with various special functions, such as a glue arrow, a net arrow, explosive arrow, time bomb arrow, grappling arrow, fire extinguishing arrow, flash arrow, tear gas arrow, cryonic arrow, or a boxing-glove arrow. [Wiki]

Sweet Jesus, not a boxing-glove arrow! Today’s criminals won’t know what hit them!   The drug runners, the murderers, the terrorists – how will they deal with a skilled archer?  Perhaps he could team up with a Catapult operator and a phalanx captain, and they could ride around in a frigate or some other ancient weaponry that I remember from Civilization.  Why, they’d be unstoppable.  This sounds like cinematic gold.    

One consequence of the writer’s strike may be that the studios begin shooting movies without a writer on board.  From Variety:

"There’s no such thing as a locked script," says one Sony-based producer who has a go project.

"How can you make a movie without a writer?" asks manager Patty Detroit. "You can’t!"

Sony, for example, has at least two big-budget, high-profile "go" films that may have incomplete scripts and/or major casting holes. Paul Haggis admitted while walking the strike line last week that his script for "Bond 22," which is skedded to shoot in December, is not locked. Similarly, the script for "Angels & Demons," was rushed to meet the Nov. 1 deadline.

Major tentpoles are the most vulnerable should the strike drag on. Warner Bros. execs are nervous about how to proceed with "Justice League of America," which is still uncast and is a crucial potential franchise boasting popular DC Comics characters. "Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins" will face issues if the strike goes past April. "The Jetsons" has a locked script, but it is uncast. 

Does “tentpole” mean “piece of shit”?  It must.  Wow, not only are they dumb enough to actually make a JLA, Jetsons, and fourth Terminator movie, they might shoot them without writers.  That will be interesting.  [picture courtesy of Box Office Psychics]

Paramount, on the other hand, threw four pricey A-list scribes at would-be $100-million franchise "G.I. Joe," which is scheduled to start shooting in February, and swears that the move paid off. Stuart Beattie ("3:10 to Yuma"), John Lee Hancock ("A Perfect World") and Brian Koppleman and David Levien ("Ocean’s Thirteen") teamed up in an intense collaboration that yielded, according to di Bonaventura, a shootable script.

Shootable, now that’s high praise.  I try to give my girlfriend the same kind of encouragement.  Whenever she gives me a blow job and then asks me how it was, I shrug my shoulders and go, "Meh."  Girls go crazy for that lovey dovey shit.    

Fox is moving full speed ahead with its "X-Men" spinoff "Wolverine," even though many roles are still uncast. Unlike "X-Men," "Wolverine" rests solidly on Hugh Jackman’s shoulders.

On "X-Men" pics, Parker admits, writers Simon Kinberg and Zak Penn were making adjustments throughout production. "Wolverine" will have no such luxury. Most action sequences will be handled in f/x animation.

Ugh… Let’s follow up a Brett Ratner abortion with an FX-heavy, writer-free romp.  Sounds promising.

"The X-Files" sequel, while casting supporting roles, is to start in December, Parker says. Pulling the plug now would be prohibitively expensive.

Well, they’ve already pissed away millions, no choice but to piss away more, right?  Nevermind that the show went off the air five years ago, or that the first movie was a turd anyway.  It’s like Speed 4: Script of Doom!   

Check out this even doomier and gloomier article in the NYTimes. 

Word is The Flash movie’s still happening, and has picked up director David Dobkin (Clay Pigeons, Shanghai Knights, Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus – yeesh, talk about a varied career).

Dobkin’s film won’t be the character’s first appearance in cinemas, of course, with the Flash a major part of the upcoming “Justice League of America” film. But while fans wait for “JLA” story and casting announcements with bated breath, Dobkin can’t help but hold his – confirming that his movie will exist in the same universe as the upcoming flick as a direct spin-off. [MTV]

I still hold out hope that JLA will be enough of a disaster that a spinoff will be impossible.

Dobkin also said that his movie would deal with the Wally West incarnation of the Flash, which "would seem to mesh perfectly with recent rumors that “JLA” opens with Barry Allen’s funeral."  I’m not sure what that means because I’ve had sex with a woman before.  She may or may not have been awake at the time, but either way I’m still too cool for Tonka Trucks and Flash comics and shit… Mom.  

Despite my tendency to drink too much and speculate wildly high standards of journalistic integrity (or as I like to call it, journa-lipstick integ-pretty), it now appears that yesterday’s report of Rupert Evans casting as Superman in Justice League is unfounded.  Based on denials by Evans’ management, IESB is now retracting their previous story (and misspelling the word ‘chimed’).

But good news! Wonder Woman has been cast – Teresa Palmer!  I’d probably bang her! But wait, the source for the false Superman story doesn’t happen to be the source of the Wonder Woman story, does it?  Oh, well yeah, there is that.

I may take a break from JLA news.  I’m as sick of hearing about JLA as I am of being told to put my pants back on.  I predict that it becomes a made-for-TV movie premiering on the Who Gives a Shit Channel, with all roles played by Tori Spelling.

The word around the campfire is that Justice League of America has found its Superman, in British actor Rupert Evans.  Supposedly he played John Meyers in Hellboy, but as you can see from the above photograph, I think it’s obvious that he’s best known for his role as the little kid staring at William Wallace while he’s getting executed in Braveheart.

So wait, this guy’s supposed to play the Zeus of superheroes? He just sat there like a douche while a national hero was being drawn and quartered.  We all saw it, dude.  Screw this, I hope Mel Gibson bursts through the door to his house on a horse and smashes his skull with a metal ball on a chain.  That happened to some guy my cousin knows.  I think he was Jewish. He looked pretty Jewy anyway. Mel has really good Jew-dar. [CB]