Here’s a homemade music video of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin,” starring Ellen Page, Alia Shawkat (aka Maeby Funke from Arrested Development), and uh, some fat guy.  Apparently it’s dedicated to Page’s mother Martha (??), and if nothing else proves the stars’ ability to annoyingly sing a half step behind the beat of the song. Anyway, I’m not sure what the point of this was.  Maybe it was to see whether they could finally play out “Don’t Stop Believin,” which has been able to maintain semi-ironic popularity for an absurdly long time now.  And speaking of semi-ironic, Ellen Page is rocking both a Che hat AND a keffiyah scarf, which is like +20 hipster points. I’ve heard if you get 25 you can redeem them for getting knocked off your long skateboard. 

I got through two minutes.  See how far you can get!

[via BWE]

^{If it’s a thumb war you want…}

Okay, admittedly that was a provocative and slightly misleading headline.  It should probably say “Diablo Cody Wrote a Blog”, because that’s more in line with what happened.  But I wanted to reflect that the blog in question is provocative and ass toy related.   In it, the Juno writer addresses all the hatin’ ass hata bitches dat been hatin’ on her.  Some highlights:

I may have won 19 awards that you don’t feel I earned, but it’s neither original nor relevant to slag on Juno. Really. And you’re not some bold, singular voice of dissent, You are exactly like everyone else in your zeitgeisty-demo-lifestyle pod. You are even like me. (I, too, loved Arrested Development! Aren’t we a pretty pair of cultural mavericks? Hey, let’s go bitch about how Black Kids are overrated!)

Hell yeah! I’ve always wanted to say it but was too afraid!  Wait, Black Kids is a band?  Aw, crap.  Hehe, moving along, nothing to see here, folks…

I’m sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you’re bitter.

Seriously though, bagging on a girl enlightened enough to put stuff in her butt is so not cool.

I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you’re spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I’m sorry if you think I’m like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby c*nt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It’s engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn’t.

Pssst… Queen Latifah might be bad example…

Listen: I’ve been telling stories my whole life. Even when I was a phone sex operator, I was the Mark Twain of extemporaneous jerk-off fiction. I took every perspiring creep on a f*cking journey. I don’t know how to do anything else. [MySpace]

So there you have it.  You’re either with Diablo or you’re with Seltzer-Freebird.  Personally, I’ve always thought the good parts of Juno far outweighed some of the annoying dialogue in the beginning.  And the stuff about putting stuff up her butt and doing phone sex really put her over the top for me.

Get it?  Juno is already the most parodied movie of all time, but… Juneau!  It’s in Alaska!  That’s where McCain’s VP pick is governor!  They’re totally homophones!  And she’s got a knocked up daughter!  *eeep* OMG, I totally just gave myself another movie parody idea!

Hello operator?  Get me Seltzer and Friedberg – quickly, man, this thing’s got a shelf life!

[Cinematical]

At this point, Juno is up there with Tom Cruise’s Scientology video and I’m F-ing some celebrity when it comes to stuff that’s really easy to parody. But give Mad TV a little credit for their trailer for "Juno 2", if only for the line:

Listen, Bleeker, I’ve committed hobo-cide, and instead of calling the five oh or pulling a weekend at Bernie’s, I’ve decided pluck his people parts and robin hood ‘em to a terminal tina I found in the penny saver.

I enjoy parodies, which is why I often dress my cat up like Jimmy Durante to re-enact George White’s Scandals.  Funny ’cause it’s true, mom always says. 

[via /Film] 

This is a deleted scene from the Juno DVD (out April 15th) called "Café Triste". Triste means sad in Spanish and that about sums it up. Kinda would’ve liked to hear the song about Danny Trejo though.

Side Note: The movie version of Café Triste is nowhere near as sad as the real one – in Berkeley, of course. (video after jump)