Jude Law, who recently received the coveted “Deepest V Award” from Oompa Loompa University, stars in this commercial for Dior Homme directed by famous film director Guy Ritchie.  If I’m not mistaken, “homme” is a French word for “homo.”  Anyway, the five-minute ad appears to concern Law’s character planning a rendezvous with his lady friend, and the bulk of it takes the concept of “whispering sweet nothings” (emphasis on the ‘nothing’) to a ridiculous degree.  Sample dialogue:

“You know who I am. I know who you are. You know where I’ve been. I know where you’ve been.  That’s all I’m gonna tell you.  You know what I can do.  And I know what you can do. You’re gonna regret saying that.  Scared? Is that right?  Of course you are.  What?  Two of ya?  We’ll see.  Ooh.  When I find you.. and I will find you… you’re gonna wish you’d never been caught.”

I just looked at the v-neck picture while I was reading that and I got reeeeeally horny. Also, I thought it was odd that he was in that hotel room with the hot naked lady, but then he made her put her clothes on and leave so they could go look at a giant phallic symbol.

[via ThePlaylist]

(I’m sorry.)

Almost from the beginning of production, there’s been talk of a gay subtext between Holmes and Watson in the new Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes remake (often including the dreaded hybrid word ‘Bromance’  *shudder*).  Holmes star Robert Downey even played coy about it during a Letterman appearance (but keep in mind, coy is Robert Downey’s natural state).  Nonetheless, the chick who holds the US rights to Sherlock Holmes seems unamused.  From TotalFilm:

“I hope this is just an example of Mr Downey’s black sense of humour,” Andrea Plunket says. ”It would be drastic, but I would withdraw permission for more films to be made if they feel that is a theme they wish to bring out in the future.  “I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books,” [...she said before loudly shushing the other library patrons. -Ed.]

What I want to know is, where the hell was Andrea Plunket’s Tolkien equivalent when Frodo and Sam were practically gargling each other’s balls in the Lord of the Rings movies?

Too busy having rough hobbit sex, I guess.   Mmm, yeah baby, my sword glows when your “orc” is around.  Now, call me “Mr.” and my first name.

Read the rest of this entry »

This is the red-band trailer for Repo Men, but be careful because it’s NSFW for swearing and bloody and boobs and stuff.  It has nothing to do with Alex Cox’s 1984 cult classic Repo Man, though Cox thinks Universal changed the title from Repossession Mambo to punish him for making a kind-of sequel without them.

Instead it tells of a near future when human life spans have been greatly extended by expensive artificial organs created by a company called The Union. When people fail to make their payments for a fancy new liver or other piece of their gut, a team of surgical operatives are sent out to reclaim The Union’s property. The film follows two of these guys, played by Jude Law and Forest Whitaker. [/Film]

If you thought that sounded familiar, check out the synopsis for Repo! The Genetic Opera from 2008:

Out of the tragedy, a savior emerges: GeneCo, a biotech company that offers organ transplants, for a price. Those who miss their payments are scheduled for repossession and hunted by villainous Repo Men.

I guess that’s not really a complaint, because once you remove Paris Hilton and awful goth music from the equation, I sort of forget what my objection was.  On another note, it looks like Forest Whitaker missed a few payments on that eye.  *tries to play rimshot, pokes self in eye with drumstick*

Here’s Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law at the London premiere of Sherlock Holmes.   It’s a good visual illustration of why people love Robert Downey Jr. and hate Jude Law.  Dude, is that a silk polka dot scarf knotted around your neck?  David Carradine just got a boner in his grave.

[Source]

So Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes movie has a poster now.  Here it is.  Tagline: “Holmes for the holiday.”  Ha, get it?  It’s cute ’cause it’s stupid, like a dog that falls down.  Speaking of dogs, I would hug the sh-t out of that bulldog up there.

[via Cinematical]