Whoa, this is real.  Feast your eyes on the trailer (sorta NSFW for language and a brief buttcrack or two) for The 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It.  Hey, I think the title might be a Judd Apatow reference.  And before you ask, the answer is no, surprisingly, this is not a Seltzer-Freebird joint.  The director is first timer Craig Moss and the IMDB page doesn’t list a writer, presumably because they just re-enacted all the scenes from the movies referenced in the title and made them less funny.  I think it might be some new edgy hipster humor, like Garfield minus Garfield.

Shockingly, it doesn’t appear to be getting a theatrical release, and even shockinglier, it’s being distributed by 20th Century Fox.  I’m guessing they’re going after that niche demographic of people who have an enemy they want to do something mean to, but can’t find any dog poop to leave in a flaming bag in their doorstep.  Hence the slogan, “TFYOVWKUSMAFSBAI, it’s like a bag of poop for your eyes.”

[blame Cinematical for finding this]

Funny People comes out on DVD today, and though I agree that it should’ve been 15 minutes shorter, I liked it, and if you didn’t it’s probably because you’re a stupid idiot with a limp wiener and everyone hates you.  To promote the release, they released this deleted scene in which Seth Rogen (Ira) has to drive Adam Sandler (George Simmons) to San Francisco while he watches Hellboy in the back seat.  Then they talk movie ideas, and Ira has an idea for a George Simmons movie in which all the kids born from the sperm he donated in his youth come find him at the same time.  It’s a decent idea, as far as Adam Sandler movies go, but Adam Sandler’s all, “That’s dumb, I’m a make a movie where me n’ Rob Schneider watch Kevin James fall down for two hours, and it’ll be like Old School as written as an episode of Caroline in the City.”

At least, I assume that’s how it ends.

Opening this weekend

Funny People
No, it’s not as funny as Knocked Up, it’s 20 minutes too long, and I realize you probably won’t like it as much as I did.  Nonetheless, it’s a real movie, which is rare, and it’s the best thing Adam Sandler’s done in ten years.  And on the other hand, so’s your face.

The Collector
I can’t believe someone had the balls to put “From the writers of Saw IV, V, and VI” in the trailer.  Gee, guys, that’s quite the plug.  This summer… from the makers of speed bumps, techno, and stubbing your toe on the f*cking coffee table… The only way the bad guy could have a more stupid looking mask is if he made it out of Colin Hanks’ face.

Not Quite Hollywood
This documentary about the obscure-yet-awesome genre of Ozploitation films only opens in New York and LA, but the filmmakers sent me a cool playlist of Ozploitation flicks to attach after the jump.  They did my work for me.  And I like that.

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Christ, I should be working at the Enquirer with these headlines.  Anyway, we all remember when Katherine Heigl whined because Knocked Up was sexist, right?  Good.  Well Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow recently went on Howard Stern, who naturally asked them about her.  They responded by saying the obvious things, but it was still cool because Katherine Heigl is a bitch.

Rogen says he doesn’t see how Heigl’s new comedy, The Ugly Truth, makes women look even better. “That [movie] looks like it really puts women on a pedestal in a beautiful way,” he quipped.
Added Apatow, “I hear there’s a scene where she’s wearing … Underwear …with a vibrator in it, so I’d have to see if that was uplifting for women.”
Even more baffling, said Apatow, “We never had a ‘fight’” with Heigl while filming. “Seth always says, it doesn’t make any sense – she improvised half her s***,” Apatow said. [USWeekly]

And then Rogen was all, “Yeah dude, it’s like she doesn’t even have a BRAIN!” and I looked over and he was totally holding his nuts so it looked like a brain.  So hilarious, bro, you should’ve been there.

I hate that Funny People is 25 minutes too long, because it does a couple of amazing things.  From his album They’re All Gonna Laugh at You through a few years after Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler was a comedy God. I laughed so hard the first time I heard “The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions” that I farted placenta.  But at some point around ’97, he seems to have decided he didn’t give a sh*t anymore and started doing a string of increasingly sappy, unfunny paycheck abortions like Click and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The only glimmers of talent came in dramatic roles like Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love, in which he proved he could act, but didn’t really seem like himself, like he was just trying to prove a point.

Funny People not only reminds us what Sandler looks like when he’s doing honest comedy — and by that I mean comedy that he himself finds funny rather than “You want me to do a silly voice again? Fine, I’ll do the a voice again. Lap it up, you pigs.” — but combines it with the Sandler who can act.  Not only that, the story is the kind of pointed, meta-fictional take on his life that JCVD could’ve been for Van Damme if it hadn’t devolved into such a pretentious euro wankfest. I hate to be a reactionary, but while I was writing this I noticed other people calling Funny People Entourage with Cancer, and I felt compelled to point out all the differences between this and Entourage.

1.  Decent writing
2.  Decent acting
3.  Conflict
4.  Likable characters
5.  The celebrity character in Funny People is famous for having an actual skill
6.  The minor characters are trying perfect an actual skill, and aren’t driven by the sole desire to be famous, or to hang out with famous people, or to help the main character get more famous
7.  No one talks about shoes or cars, not even once

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