The Absolute Very Worst Movies Of 2012

Written by Ashley Burns / 12.12.12

After last year’s Worst Movies feature, I received feedback from some readers and Twitter folk about me possibly being “too negative” and “mean” when it came to criticizing films that I chose to watch for this annual hate crime report. Some people even pulled the “What movies have you written?” card, which is cheap because I can just turn around and ask what dog they’ve ever photoshopped a mustache on, and BOOM – argument over.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of films are made each year, and a lot of them are bad. That’s not just by my standards; that’s by the standards of the majority. I have never, in the several years that Vince has let me poison the quality of his website, proclaimed to be a critic. I am just a bro who likes watching movies, and I have a naïve innocence that lets me still believe that people in Hollywood care about making quality films. Then I watch Bucky Larson and that gullible side of me is shoved into a wood chipper.

So how, then, do I determine which of the many, many mainstream films that I have watched in 2012 are the absolute worst of the worst of the WORST? It’s a little pinch of common sense mixed with a dash of “Come on, that’s just f*cking awful”. But I also have some rules, and let’s review them now…

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Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Another Excuse To Use That Gina Carano GIF

Written by Morton Salt / 05.01.12

It’s a pretty light week for new DVDs, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have things to discuss.  Besides Gina Carano, we’ve got two mainstream releases none of you will ever want to see, Sean Astin, Thor (presumably) not at a bus stop, the greatest generation, their good-for-nothing twink grandsons, Eric Roberts, and a bunch of pissed off animals.

The DVDs:
Haywire
New Year’s Eve
Joyful Noise
W./E.
And They’re Off…
Cirkus Columbia
Hell At My Heels
Thunderstorm: Return Of Thor
Surviving D-Day
1313: Bermuda Triangle
The Dead Want Women
Rise Of The Animals

For the usual analysis keep on keepin’ on on the next page.  If that’s too many ‘on’s for you, click here to jump to the Netflix streaming suggestions. Read the rest of this entry »

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Weekend Movie Guide: Let’s Save The Rec Center Or Whatever

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.13.12

Opening Wide and Saying, “Ahhhhh”: Joyful Noise, Contraband, Beauty and the Beast 3D

Opening in Limited Release: The Iron Lady, We Need to Talk About Kevin

FilmDrunk Suggests: Not The Iron Lady, that’s for sure. Did you read Vince’s review? This one, right here. Man, that’s some brutal criticism. I don’t know who keeps giving that Meryl Streep lady jobs, but she needs to give up and go get her secretary’s license.

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