Here’s the trailer for Jack and Jill, starring Adam Sandler… PLAYING BOTH SIBLINGS! WHAT GOD DID I PLEASE?!?  Hoo boy, this looks about as good as Katie Holmes’ acting.

Judd Apatow casts Bridesmaid‘s Melissa McCarthy, Super 8‘s Ryan Lee in Knocked Up spinoff. Apatow’s next focuses on Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s characters from Knocked Up, which is great, because if you don’t like Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann you can just go suck a f*ck. I just hope Ryan Lee grows into his teeth by then. I say this because I know I was once that awkward. Take it from me, kid, it… doesn’t get better. I recommend alcohol. |HollywoodReporter|

Jonah Hill and Mark Wahlberg teaming up for buddy comedy.  “Good Time Gang follows two party-happy mercenaries who decide to take on a more serious case involving a terrorist, only to find their mission complicated when they discover one of them is related to the target. The film has been described by two people familiar with it as a new spin on Lethal Weapon.” Coming off working with Channing Tatum on 21 Jump Street, Jonah Hill should be right at home with Wahlberg. C-Tates’ entire persona is based on the Marky Mark Workout Video. POW!  |LATimes|

Di Bonaventura optioning reconstituted farts again. The brains behind the Asteroids movie and GI Joe has picked up the movie rights to the classic arcade game Space Invaders. The game is about 4-bit dots, but based on the title, I’m guessing the movie will be like Cowboys and Aliens, Battleship, Battle Los Angeles, Transformers, I Am Number 4, Super 8, and pretty much like every other alien movie of the last five years. Making a movie based on an old video game is like taking a Van Gogh, running it through an old Xerox 50 times, then making a graphic novel out of the Xerox. |THR|

Casey Anthony’s porn offer rescinded. In what I’m sure was not at all a publicity stunt, Vivid offered acquitted child killer Casey Anthony a porn contract, only to rescind the offer a day later. Steve Hirsch told TMZ: “It has become obvious to us that Vivid fans, and people in general, want nothing to do with her and that includes a XXX movie.” That’s true, I care deeply about the personal lives of those I watch get jizzed on. “What are your SAT scores? Do you have any letters of recommendation?” I often ask my laptop while setting lotion on it. |Superficial|

After the jump: the trailer for Gus Van Sant’s Restless, starring Mia Wasikowska and Henry Hopper, a love story about scarves and cancer.

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"Yo son, turn dat sh*t sideways."

Sony recently invited a collection of online writers to visit Riverdale High School in Louisiana, or as it is more importantly known – the set of the latest Channing Tatum joint, 21 Jump Street, which was written by and co-stars a slimmed up Jonah Hill. While I’m sure none of them are certified C-Tates historians and biographers, whatever, I’m not bitter. So what? They got an inside look at the remake of the 1980s hit TV show, which starred Johnny Depp and Richard Grieco. Good for them. *chokes back tears*

This action-comedy film version will be rated R due to an overabundance of the F word and because the whole thing is about drugs. What kind of drugs? I’m glad you asked.

Once the R was secure, the name of the drug officially became “HFS,” which stands for “Holy F*cking Sh*t.” The effects of HFS are broken into five stages:

1) The gigs
2) Tripping major ballsack
3) Overfalsity of confidence
4) F*ck yeah, motherfucker!
5) Pass out

To be clear, 21 Jump Street should not be obnoxiously R. Lord pointed out, “We do have an f-bomb problem on this film… I feel like once you cross a hundred, you should slow down.” The R has a purpose beyond the license to print profanity. (Via Collider)

I didn’t need to travel all the way to Louisiana to talk to Tatum about his latest effort at comedy. Because we’re boys and I can reach him on his Boost Mobile anytime, here’s what my good friend C-Tates, the hardest workin’, twerkin’, lay it down flip and reversin’ man in show bizna$$, had to say about 21 Jump Street…

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Two years ago, Sony pulled the plug on a Brad Pitt-starring, Steven Soderbergh adaptation of Michael Lewis’ statisticky baseball book, Moneyball, just a few days before it was to begin shooting. Soderbergh had planned to shoot it in an “informal, documentary” style, which kind of makes sense, seeing as how the book is non-fiction.  But studios tend to be terrified of anything unconventional, so they brought in Capote director Bennett Miller and got a rewrite of the script from Aaron Sorkin, who’s brilliant at writing slick Hollywood stuff that’s just entertaining enough that you forgive it for not being very realistic (“How do I know you weren’t studying? Because you go to B.U.!“).  So that’s why now, instead of people talking about statistics like in the book, we see some old guy asking Brad Pitt “Who’s Fabio?” to illustrate how out of touch old baseball scouts are.  Oh well.  At least Sandra Bullock’s not teaching inner city blacks to play football.

"Pie?! There's no pieing in baseball!"

[hat tip: WithLeather]

We’ve known for quite some time now that Jonah Hill has co-written a movie version of 21 Jump Street, which will star him and (MY BOI!) Channing Tatum as the undercover cops who infiltrate a high school as students to bust up a drug ring. Tatum previously referred to the script as “redeezy fo sheezey my burns-neezy!” but now we know the full extent of acting talent that we’ll be dealing with.

According to Indie Wire *flips scarf*…

The project might have lost Emma Stone, who was originally intended to take the female lead, but it’s a promising line-up otherwise: Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are in the leads, with Hill on co-writing duties with “Scott Pilgrim” scribe Michael Bacall, while Ice Cube, Rob Riggle, Brie Larson and James Franco‘s little brother Dave round out the cast, and Depp is widely expected to make some kind of cameo. Most excitingly of all, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, who were behind the really excellent animated film “Cloudy With Chance of Meatballs,” are directing (the principle reason we’re expecting something a little better than the average). Now, word’s come in that one of our favorite rising comedic actors is also getting involved.

And then they go on to praise Jake Johnson, who just signed on, for his work in Paper Hearts while calling him annoying in No Strings Attached, which means nothing to me. What I do care about… Channing Tatum. Ice Cube. Together. FINALLY! Maybe they could even fulfill my dream of a collaborative remake of Straight Out of Compton…

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It's a naughty nurse zombie from the 80s, because I think you'll be surprised how much movie premises resemble crappy girls' Halloween costumes.

Jonah Hill is in negotiations to make his directing debut, and don’t get me wrong: I like Jonah Hill.  He was brilliant in Cyrus, and he’s totally underrated as a character actor.  But this project sounds like it could be the high-water mark of lazy premises.

Hill is in talks to make his feature directorial debut on The Kitchen Sink, the Oren Uziel script for Sony Pictures about the unlikely alliance between a high school-aged vampire, zombie and human as they try to save their town from invading aliens. The script was a top choice on the recently released 2010 Black List.

It seems pretty obvious why it’s called “The Kitchen Sink,” but in case you didn’t get it…

The title The Kitchen Sink is a self-aware reference to the fact that the scribe has thrown every known and currently popular movie menace into a story that is at its core a coming-of-age tale. When I first revealed that [producer] Tolmach had bought the script, the former Sony co-president of production told me: “I love high school movies, and sparked to the authenticity of these characters. It’s more in the spirit of The Breakfast Club than anything, but you get an idea of the title in an early scene where two kids are running from zombies. Those zombies suddenly are attacked by vampires. Just when they are all facing off, there’s a bright light overhead. You realize the aliens have landed and these groups have to band together, suppress the urge to kill each other, and it becomes thematically the enemy of my enemy is my friend. That makes it different than your usual zombie, vampire, or alien movie.” [Deadline]

Hmm, so basically like Cowboys and Aliens, then? I’d love to believe that this is some hilarious, new take on the material, but at a certain point, everything’s been done.  It’s a Charlie Sheen t-shirt.  “Huh, so this time the zombie is… a piñata?” And the title, The Kitchen Sink… Do execs not know when they’re being screwed with anymore?  Hey, I got one for you: it’s about zombies, vampires, werewolves, and alien invasion.  It’s called “I’m Mailing It In.”

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