With the release of Iron Man 2 just two weeks away, the studio has released more new clips than I can shake my dick at.  I exaggerate, but there are a lot.  I’ve attached them all after the jump, including the new one that shows Tony Stark in his suitcase armor.  If you’re wondering how Whiplash, with no armor, can compete with a fully-armored Iron Man, the answer is that Whiplash is Russian.  Vodka + not giving a f*ck = the strength of military-grade steel. It’s science, ask my uncle.

Meanwhile, AMC Theatres is announcing an Iron Man double feature in select cities, so you can see Iron Man 1 before the midnight showing of Iron Man 2.  That way by the time the second one starts, you won’t be all, “Wait, why is there iron mans? How does iron mans form?”

In other Iron Man news, Marvel prez Kevin Feige says that Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow character getting her own spinoff movie is “definitely possible.  Absolutely.”   I don’t know how I feel about Scarlett Johansson trying to carry an entire movie, unless it’s about girl who loves to shower.  Like, a lot. Is that a possibility, Mr. Feige? Guh, these nerds never ask the good questions.

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Moviefone got a hold of this new short clip from Iron Man 2.  It shows Pepper Paltrow and Tony Stark hanging out at his house while his bodyguard, Happy Hogan, played by Jon Favreau (I’ve heard all the best bodyguards are short, chubby guys with Jew fros), teaches Scarlett Johansson aka Natalie Rushman aka Natasha Romanov how to box.

So what’s the deal with Johannsson’s character and her two names?  (Possible minor spoilers to follow, so no whining).  By most accounts, it appears her character is “an undercover agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. posing as Tony Stark’s assistant.”   Hence, I’m guessing, the two names.  I sincerely hope they don’t try to pull that Die Hard 3 bullsh*t, where the bad guy can go undercover with a perfect American accent, but whenever they’re hanging around their buddies, they slip back into their normal, thick German (or in this case Russian) accents.  Really, Hollywood?  Is that how accents work?  All foreigners can speak perfect English, but only when they want to?  You should hang out with my grandpa.

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Lobster Dog is my version of a halo

According to the LA Times, the late DJ AM, who died in August, will have a cameo in Iron Man 2, a scene in which he plays himself DJing a party at Tony Stark’s house.  Except it’s kind of a bummer, him being all dead and sh*t now.

There are a number of celebrity cameos in “Iron Man 2″ that will inspire some audience giggles (Bill O’Reilly has a memorable moment, for instance, and comics icon Stan Lee shows up with a particularly inspired disguise), but there’s also one that might be met with some gasps: The late Adam Goldstein, a.k.a. DJ A.M., is at the center of a key scene in the film, a fact that gives the summer blockbuster a bittersweet backbeat.
The decision to leave the scene in the film’s final cut was a difficult one for director Jon Favreau, who invited Goldstein to the set last spring and found a fast friend in the turntable auteur. After the jolting death of Goldstein in late August, Favreau was unsure whether the cameo would be perceived as a fitting farewell or just a crass distraction amid a popcorn adventure.
“We tried to make it respectful, and for people who know him, they’ll get a kick out of it and for people who don’t, it will sort of slide by without much notice,” Favreau said Wednesday, still choosing his words carefully.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, “bittersweet backbeat?”  Let’s relax with the purple prose there, LA Times.  I’ve heard nothing but nice things about DJ AM, but if he’s a “Turntable Auteur”, I’m a Cat Photoshop Visionary.

Robopanda helped kick off the let’s-improve-older-movies-with-Iron-Man-and-AC/DC trend yesterday, with Iron Man punching Hugh Grant in the face. Today it continues, with Iron Man dirty dancing with Patrick Swayze.  Yes, yes, nobody puts Iron Man in a corner and all that.  If it sounds a little gay, it’s not, because there’s AC/DC playing over top of the whole thing.  AC/DC can un-gay anything.  You could be at a mojito bar in Chelsea watching Glee with your a cappella group, but you crank up some AC/DC on a boombox, next thing you know, BOOM!  Tits and whiskey.  I listen to AC/DC while I’m blowing guys, it’s awesome.

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"Squaaawk, this phone's not even plugged in. Squaaawk."

Iron Man 2 just released a new batch of stills to Yahoo, which would be boring but for one thing: reminding me that Mickey Rourke’s character gets drunk and talks to a parrot.  I’ve reported this before, but ThePlaylist has a nice breakdown:

From all reports, Rourke was a tad difficult on the set of “Iron Man 2,” which is otherwise a reportedly fun and amicable set. Rourke apparently showed his method-like peculiarity by insisting his Russian career-criminal character Whiplash could boast a nefarious pet cockatoo as some kind of sidekick that we can see in these new pictures.

Apparently this was Rourke’s way of coloring-up the character. “I told [Jon] Favreau, ‘I don’t want to just play him as a one-dimensional pussy,’” Rourke told EW earlier this year. “He let me have a cockatoo, who I talk to and get drunk with while I’m making my suit.”

It’s easy to make fun of Rourke thinking the solution to one-dimensional pussyism is a Cockatoo, but I think he’s onto something.  Let’s think about this:  You see any guy walking down the street with a shaved chest and white highlights in his hair, you probably think, “Pussy.”  But add a parrot to the same guy’s shoulder with whom he’s drunkenly carrying on a conversation… Suddenly you’re like, “Whoa, I bet that guy has some stories.”

Apparently that’s Favreau playing Happy Hogan, Tony Stark’s bodyguard.  That’s the suitcase armor he’s carrying.