Another day, another batch of new Dark Knight pics.  I may have to start bashing this movie, because right now my expectations are so high that if it’s not the best movie of all time I might have to self immolate in penance.  FilmoFilia has some new stills, many of which feature the joker looking creepy and badass.  Meanwhile, allposters has added a new poster of the joker looking into the camera with "Ha!" scrawled across the top.  It sort of goes along with the videogum article someone sent me on Friday about how the new trend in livejournal avatars is "jokerized" pictures of celebrities.  I don’t know what any of that meant, but yesterday I bought a new typewriter.  It was really expensive because it’s as big as an elephant and runs on coal.

A new Dark Knight poster has hit the web, featuring Heath Ledger as the Joker.  The poster reveals one of the Joker’s key strategies, rolling up on you diagonally and exploding stuff with mind bullets.

I can only hope Chris Nolan decides to shoot the explosions in slow motion, from as many angles as possible, a lá The Fury.  I wish I could watch all the cool stuff I ever do in slow motion and from multiple angles.  It would make the two seconds I last in bed seem that much more important.    

[Source] 

The leaked alternate ending for The Dark Knight recently hit the web.  In it, Batman comes home to find Joker dead and doesn’t know what to do.    It’s funny because we’ve all been there.

[Thanks to Adam for the tip] 

Yesterday I reported rumblings that Dark Knight studio execs were considering removing a scene involving Heath Ledger that some of the test audience monkeys were having a sook and a fackin’ cry over.

Today, Moviehole is singing a different tune:

A source close to the “The Dark Knight” told us this morning that the film remains intact – and nothing of Ledger’s will be cut from the movie, including the body-bag scene. ‘’I KNOW for a fact that that scene is in the film. I also know that WB has made no such mandate and that Chris [Nolan] is honest when saying that he will not change what was intended with The Joker.”

In other news, the rumors about my strong but gentle hands and masculine scent are all 100% true.  People say I smell like the first rain of spring on steroids.

[Thanks to RoboPanda for the tip]    

Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars?  Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana?  No one knows for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee haw!

Today’s spoilerish rumor comes from CinemaBlend, who claims (based on a tipster) that execs are considering cutting a scene from The Dark Knight involving Heath Ledger.

The scene involves Ledger’s Joker character pretending to be dead and being pictured in a body bag. Apparently the aftershock of Ledger’s unfortunate death are such that many in the [test] screening reacted rather badly to this moment and now execs are considering excising the scene altogether. 

God, I hate when people kowtow to idiots and squeamish pussies.  Holy crap, a guy in a body bag onscreen was in a body bag in real life!  OH THE HORROR!  Let’s cancel every SNL sketch in which Chris Farley fakes a heart attack!

It’s like when you’re at a ball game and you think of a really good heckle like, "Hey, Robinson! Your mom has cancer!" and some douche turns around all serious and is all like, "Hey, buddy, I’m trying to watch the game with my kid – his mother died of cancer."  Gee, thanks for sharing there, Debbie Downer – where I come from that’s called a party foul.