John Woo’s production company is developing a sequel to his 1992 Hong Kong classic, Hard Boiled.  Which I suppose is great news to someone who hasn’t seen a John Woo movie since 1992 (Paycheck, anyone?).

“Screenwriters Jeremy Passmore (Special) and Andre Fabrizio (upcoming John Carpenter film The Prince) are penning the adaption of the Woo-produced 2007 video game Stranglehold, which was an official sequel to Hard Boiled and featured star Chow Yun-Fat reprising his role as hard-boiled cop Inspector “Tequila” Yuen. I assume the film  being developed for American audiences, as American screenwriters are attached.” [/Film - original source, THR]

In case you weren’t around in the late 90s, there was a bit of John Woo fever going around Hollywood.  The video above is his famous, nearly three minute, one-shot action sequence from the original Hard Boiled.  The YouTube file calls it “the greatest action sequence ever filmed.”  But aside from the fact that he did it in one shot, what’s so great about it?  The choreography isn’t that great (nowhere near as good as Tony Jaa’s famous single-shot action sequence) and neither is the cinematography. It’s mainly just a corny, bloodless gun fight.  And as for Woo’s American films, you’ve got Broken Arrow, Face/Off, Mission Impossible II, and Windtalkers; B-movies that didn’t know they were B-movies.  So, in summation, a John Woo comeback?  Here’s me dismissively wanking with both hands while white doves fly around behind me.

John Woo’s two-part Asian epic Red Cliff is making huge money in Asia, and part two is set to open January 15th in China.

The first part of “Red Cliff” was released in July, grossing $62.7 million in the same six key Asian territories. Part one was released in Japan this month and has taken $26 million to date from 2 million admissions. Japanese release of second part is set for mid-April. [Variety]

Courtesy of Twitch, here’s the trailer for part two.  The subtitles aren’t in English, but you don’t really need subtitles to watch Asians fight each other.  The project doesn’t have an American release date yet, but as Twitch points out, “ the Hong Kong DVD and BluRay releases are both fully English friendly and region free.”  I believe you can search for it under the original Chinese title, Red Criff.

*cuts off pinkie in penance*

Someone just sent me this video.  The pitch:

Down in the polls and with his ads increasingly ineffective, McCain hired a series of guest Hollywood directors to make attack ads for him. (Namely John Woo, Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson).

Yes, perhaps an unnecessarily timely concept and the John Woo part goes on way too long, but give them credit, that is a solid Wes Anderson parody.  I heard they wanted to do a Brett Ratner parody but Chris Tucker was busy that day.  Ditto George Lucas, because they didn’t have time to make a family of CGI ferrets.

The man behind Broken Arrow, Face/Off, Windtalkers, etc., is set to adapt a comic book series called Caliber.

Caliber sets King Arthur firmly into the American Old West, which is rather fitting, since as a location it’s nearly as mythical as Camelot [*fart sound* -Ed.]. Arthur is given Caliber, a tattooed six-shooter (how do you tattoo a gun?) given to him by the Native Americans. It’s no ordinary gun, as it’s never loaded with bullets. Only a man with Justice on his side can fire it, at which point it shoots lightning. Accompanying him through the Pacific Northwest are the The Knights of the Round Table, all noble gunslingers, bound by a code of honor to protect the weak and defend the innocent. [Cinematical]

A cowboy with a gun that shoots lightning.  A 6-year-old could’ve come up with that.  Except instead of writing it down, he probably just would’ve let the idea pass in between mouthfuls of paste.  In related news, Spike Lee says this time at least three of Woo’s doves have to be black.

After the jump I’ve got the English subtitled trailer for The Battle of Red Cliff, supposedly directed by John Woo, though no one fires two pistols at once and there aren’t any white doves.  The film is the first of two parts, telling the story of the Three Kingdoms period in Ancient China, and is the most expensive Asian-financed film ever made. 

Pay special attention to the guy shoulder charging the horse at around the 1:22 mark because violence against horses is awesome.  Every time I see a horse I want to punch it in its big, stupid horse face and yell "This one’s for Christopher Reeve!"

Also note that these aren’t the final subtitles.  You can tell because everyone in the trailer speaks a stilted, slightly ingrammatical form of English.  However, it seems more authentic that way because I’m incredibly racist.