Hey, girl, this is the trailer for Crazy, Stupid, Love, teaming Baby Goose with Steve Carell.  Haha, relax, girl, it’s just a title.  I don’t think love is crazy or stupid.  This time around, Steve Carell plays a schlubby, middle-aged divorcee, and Baby Goose plays the womanizing ladies man who helps him get his groove back.  It’s a bit of a stretch for me, girl, because in real life, I’m more of a kitties man.  If I want to help someone find their groove, all I need is my Jansport full of Swiss Miss and a Raffi tape.  Acting!  Haha, I love you, make believe.

/baby goose off

Holy sh*t, is this supposed to be a parody?  How many flaccid rom-com clichés could we squeeze into one trailer?  Besides the plot itself, we’ve got the trying-stuff-on-montage while the cool character nods or shakes his head, the Girl Who Changes Everything for the womanizer, the precocious random kid who gives spot-on love advice, the divorced couple that falls back in love (because that always happens…), the Marisa Tomei-nurses-a-broken-guy-back-to-health… Did I miss any?  How was this directed by the guys who did Bad Santa? I hope there was a buttf*cking scene they had to cut out, because otherwise this looks terrible.

[opens in July, HD trailer available at Apple]

The first time I heard Jim Carrey was starring in a movie called “I Love You Phillip Morris,” I figured, “Phillip Morris?  Why, that movie’s probably about smoking.”  As it turns out, Jim Carrey’s character in the film does love smoking. …PENISES!  HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, get it?  He likes smoking penises?  Seriously though, he’s gay.  Not sure if you caught that.

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(I’m not homophobic, the French subtitles are.)

After the jump, I’ve got the new trailer for I Love You Phillip Morris, in which Jim Carrey plays Steven Russell, a Texas family man who gets in a car accident, realizes he’s gay, becomes a con man to support his new habit of buying fancy clothes, goes to prison where he falls in love with Ewan McGregor, and keeps escaping and getting thrown back again.  It’s almost as if gayness was his gateway vice.  Here’s the description of the original book from Amazon:

Steven Russell, the subject of this true crime story, is a rare individual, a genius who has run afoul of the law, a prodigious intellect endowed with boundless energy, audacity and guile. Russell pulled off his first jailbreak while waving a stolen walkie-talkie at a guard as he sauntered out the front gate, and his last escape — a feat of staggering self-discipline — by faking a terminal case of AIDS over several months and forging his own death certificate. Russell also walked out of prison and into a six-figure job as a CFO of a major company-twice.

I’m intrigued by the story, but I don’t I like the direction they went with it.  Call me crazy, but it’s a little hard for me to take a movie seriously when a guy jumps face first onto concrete from three stories, then shows up in the next scene with a bandage on his nose like Wile E. Coyote.  But it’s about a gay love story, so you know the academy will be paying attention.  The new coolest thing is watching two dudes make out for uncomfortably long periods of time to prove how open-minded you are.  Or as I like to call it, Thursday.

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