Zero Dark Thirty Review: Boal and Bigelow punt on the hard stuff

Written by Vince Mancini / 01.11.13

It’s impossible to review Zero Dark Thirty without having to infiltrate a room full of political lasers like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment (much nicer metaphor than a mine field, isn’t it?). But you invite that when your movie screams “THIS IS TRUE” at the beginning, like Zero Dark Thirty does in its opening “real events” title card. You can’t just forgive everything in the guise of “but it’s a movie!” when the movie is so clearly telling you that it’s fact. Thus, whether Zero Dark Thirty correctly depicts torture isn’t nitpicking, it’s relevant. So is it “pro-torture,” as John McCain, Dianne Feinstein, and others have alleged? Mark Bowden, who wrote a book about the search for Bin Laden, says it’s not. Alex Gibney, who directed a movie about torture, doesn’t quite say Zero Dark Thirty is pro torture, but says it’s irresponsible.

To make a long story short and an answer predictable, they’re both right. Zero Dark Thirty is not immoral because it depicts torture as it was (something that happened, a context, a small part of the story but not a major player) without taking a particular stance. But it is a little amoral that it doesn’t seem to take any stance. It even omits key events to keep from having to. From an artistic standpoint, it doesn’t seem particularly concerned with humans. It feels like an attempt to create suspense with no soul. Bowden’s rule of thumb for dramatizing a true story responsibly is that you can invent, but you have to “color inside the lines” of the truth. That is, you create fictions within the unknowns without altering the shape of the facts. Zero Dark Thirty mostly does that, but it also omits big chunks of them (we’ll get to that). Artistically, another problem is, who is Jessica Chastain’s character? I watched the whole movie and I still know nothing about her. Zero Dark Thirty invents a character with no apparent personality to tell a story the broad strokes of which we already know. How does that help? It even makes the movie dull at times, like a dry and talky procedural. The lady next to me was snoring loudly.

The Hurt Locker, for all the massive liberties it takes with actual military tactics, had a compelling protagonist and a clear perspective. “War is a drug.” What’s Zero Dark Thirty‘s perspective? Redheads are smart? Incorrectly or not, people jumped to “torture is good” because there’s a vacuum of anything else.

Gibney says ZDT is wrong because it doesn’t use its opportunity to argue against torture:

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Now John McCain is criticizing Zero Dark Thirty for being pro-torture

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.19.12

If you’re not in a member of critic’s organization that gives year-end awards or a guild (director’s, writer’s etc.) that does same, chances are, you may not have heard about the controversy over whether Kathryn Bigelow’s Zero Dark Thirty (which has been nominated for best picture by virtually every critic’s association and guild) is “pro torture.” There’s something unspeakably obnoxious about a controversy over a movie no one in the general public has seen, not to mention awards going to a movie no one but awards voters have seen. Anyway, I was content to ignore it for as long as possible (or at least until I’d actually seen it), and normally I’d value John McCain’s opinion somewhere below John McClane’s opinion, but as a normally-hawkish person who has actually experienced torture, McCain’s input on this one might board some water. Uh, hold some water. And he says it gets the facts wrong.

Sen. John McCain watched the movie Monday night and says it left him sick — because it’s wrong.
McCain, who spent 5 1/2 years enduring brutal treatment by his North Vietnamese captors during the Vietnam War, has insisted that the waterboarding of al-Qaida’s No. 3 leader, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, did not provide information that led to the bin Laden’s compound in Pakistan.
Yet the movie, of copy of which McCain said he received Monday, indicates that’s how the United States found the al-Qaida leader. The filmmakers fell for it hook, line and sinker, McCain, R-Ariz., said Tuesday.
Last year, McCain asked then-CIA Director Leon Panetta for the facts, and he said the hunt for bin Laden did not begin with fresh information from Mohammed. In fact, the name of bin Laden’s courier, Abu Ahmed al-Kuwaiti, came from a detainee held in another country.
“Not only did the use of enhanced interrogation techniques on Khalid Sheikh Mohammed not provide us with key leads on bin Laden’s courier, Abu Ahmed, it actually produced false and misleading information,” McCain said in a speech on the Senate floor. [Yahoo/AP]

Whoa, bro, how about a “spoiler alert?” Anyway, like I said, I HAVEN’T SEEN THE DAMNED MOVIE, NOR HAS HARDLY ANYONE ELSE… And while you can trust John McCain to speak with some authority about the value of torture, I’m not sure how to take his interpretations as a film critic. I guess we’ll see. Personally, I don’t know much about waterboarding, I just think it’s a crime what they did to that poor man’s collar.

Also, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it’s two days before the Mayans predicted the apocalypse and John McCain and Bret Easton Ellis are agreeing.
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ELECTION NIGHT, SOUTH PARK STYLE – UPDATE

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.06.08

If you missed South Park last night, go home and DVR that shit right now.  What, you’re telling me your stupid job can’t wait?  What’s that, you lost your job and can’t afford DVR?  Whatever, Professor Poopypants, this attitude of yours is bringing everyone down.

Anyway, they somehow used the election to do a send up of the Ocean’s Eleven movies, and one of the most impressive things was that they used material from the election night speeches.  Granted, we’ve known Obama was probably going to win for a while now, but they included stuff like Obama taking a puppy to the White House that wasn’t in the news until a day and a half ago.  They probably did the animation with the candidates’ lips moving a while ago, and then all they had to do was change the voice overs last night, but… Okay so maybe it wasn’t that crazy, but whatever, science, you’re not gonna ruin this for me again.  Feel how soft this puppy’s fur is! It’s a miracle!

UPDATE: You can watch the whole episode online now.
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LIL OL BRAD PITT DANCIN WITH A BLACK GIRL

Written by Vince Mancini / 11.04.08

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (trailer here), starring Brad Pitt and directed by David Fincher, based on a 1922 short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald about a man born old who ages in reverse, opens Christmas Day, and looks pretty badass.  Therefore I don’t want to read the full NY Times feature on it, lest it give anything away.  Meanwhile, the LA Times had this picture and an explanation from Fincher:

“You’re looking at Brad’s CG face on another person’s body. To my way of thinking, it all has to be a knock out,” Fincher said of the shifts from age to age and from computer effects to practical make up. “You have to make it all work. The whole thing that we called the hand offs — you’ve got to make it all seem like the same guy, and one of the things that was key was Brad is in every frame. The CG stuff is motion-capture, and it has to be his performance.”

If I was friends with this makeup artist guy, I’d hire him to make my wife up like an 80-year-old man or a miniature Brad Pitt before we f-cked.  Hey, it never hurts to spice shit up.

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FAMOUS DIRECTORS DO MCCAIN ADS

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.21.08

Someone just sent me this video.  The pitch:

Down in the polls and with his ads increasingly ineffective, McCain hired a series of guest Hollywood directors to make attack ads for him. (Namely John Woo, Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson).

Yes, perhaps an unnecessarily timely concept and the John Woo part goes on way too long, but give them credit, that is a solid Wes Anderson parody.  I heard they wanted to do a Brett Ratner parody but Chris Tucker was busy that day.  Ditto George Lucas, because they didn’t have time to make a family of CGI ferrets.

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