The Coen Brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis is set to premiere at Cannes, and just released a new red-band Cannes trailer. It’s basically the same as the last trailer I posted, but now with curse words, giving us exchanges like this:
GOODMAN: A folk singah with a cat.
OSCAR ISAAC (Llewyn Davis): It’s not my cat, I just didn’t know what to do with him.
GOODMAN: So did you bring your dick along too?
The trailer doesn’t show us much of the story, which is just the way I like it. The Coen Brothers are about as close as it gets to can-do-no-wrong status, so all I really need are some pretty pictures and “From the Coen Brothers” before I close my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears and go “LALALA…” Okay, having John Goodman in there helps too. I want John Goodman to deliver the keynote at my firstborn son’s bris.
In a promising move for the future of streaming media, Amazon has released the pilots of a bunch of original shows and allowed users to vote on which ones get greenlit. The way it used to work, TV networks would spend millions making a bunch of pilots, then they’d pick a few (whichever starred former castmembers of Friends, usually), and shitcan all the rest. That always seemed like a waste, not to mention it was based on studio-head predictions of what people would like, so this is a move in an interesting direction.
They could do better on offering easier-to-read descriptions of their pilots, but one such pilot is Alpha House, written by Doonesbury cartoonist Garry Trudeau, starring John Goodman, Clark Johnson, Matt Malloy, and Mark Consuelos as four senators living in a house together in DC. Sure, it sounds like a wackier take on House of Cards, but on the other hand… John Goodman. In this clip, Bill Murray makes a cameo. I think it goes without saying, I would watch Bill Murray and John Goodman in anything, even a documentary about raping my mother. All Bill Murray does in this clip is swear and yell and brush his teeth, and it’s entirely compelling. That’s the magic of Bill Murray.
Bros! Me and Spinach and Sandles and Black Steve were just over at campus stealing trash cans to fill with Grandma’s for tonight’s charity ghetto-themed MLK BBQ for the battered women’s shelter, when, just as I was mad-dogging those Teak fags for stealing our pumpkins, I got a text from Asian Steve about a new Hangover III trailer! The wolfpack is back, bros! So tight! So we all jumped in Spinach’s mom’s Range Rover and hightailed it over to the Peet’s Coffee where Lacey Fingerbang works to watch it on Sandles’ Macbook. Spinach was being a total bitch about us wearing shoes in his car, but we told him suck it, your dad’s a CFO, he can get it reupholstered any time he wants, just like when Date Rape Dave bled all over the back after bid night, RIP. And bro, the new trailer is TIGHT AS HELL. Alan’s off his meds, so the bros have to do an intervention, just like the time Pete the Meat tried to talk Pip out of doing those whippets but he was so butthoused on Oxy’s he fell out a window. But then, halfway there, John Goodman and a bunch of dudes in pig masks show up to kidnap all of them! He says he’s looking for “Leslie Chow,” which is like hilarious, because how’s a Chinese bro even gonna pronounce “Leslie?” And then he’s like “I need some righteous bros to catch this nub-dicked hater and the only ones who can do it are the Wolfpack because they party super hard.”
Rad, right? Like, he knows them all by name now because they’re world famous partiers for getting butthoused and wrecking shit all the time, just like when that Persian tri-delt’s lawyers called us “the wrecking crew” after Boner Brendan threw her couch onto that cop car.
Yo, but so they need to, like, get Doug back, right? Because continuity of the trilogy and bullsh*t like that. But Chow keeps getting away because he’s TOTAL DICK, bro, like that adjunct prof we had who wouldn’t accept massive blue balls as a medical emerge (RIP, Blowjob Stacey). So they meet up with that Melissa Brendan McCarthy chick and I think something’s gonna happen between her and Alan, because they’re yelling at that house mom pretty harsh. Plus, you know that chick gives great head. Whatever, your little bro knows what I’m f*cking talking about!
Anyway, you gonna buy these Klonopins or not? Because otherwise I have to put them back in my mom’s medicine cabinet.
[Thanks to my broiest bro Burnsy for collaborating on this. Opens May 24th]
Here at FilmDrunk, we have a simple theory: John Goodman should be in everything. That’s the beauty of it, dude, the simplicity. If there’s one thing I learned in ‘Nam, it’s that if the plan gets too complex, something always goes wrong. Anyway, so it is that The Hangover 3 presents something of a conundrum for us. While I liked the second one more than… well, almost everyone, which isn’t saying much (it was basically the same movie as the first, but the characters had a darker, assholish edge that they should’ve had in the first place, if the first one had been more honest with itself about the kind of people it was presenting), a third installment of a comedy seems like a universally bad idea. “Ooh, but what about Austin Powers 3?” said no one.
But, on the other hand… John Goodman. You can see a small glimpse of him in the international trailer:
I’ve often said that the best supercuts are the most obscure and specific, and this one ranks right up there. Ian Larsen‘s “Oh Fat Men Where Art Howl: The Howling Fat Men of the Coen Brothers” shines a spotlight on perhaps the most overlooked part of the Coen Brothers’ award-winning canon: their penchant for filming fat men screaming. Amazingly, not all of those fat men are played by John Goodman. Nonetheless, I consider this still more evidence for my thesis: John Goodman Should Be In Everything.
